When I googled "obsessive personality" I found an article on OCD that says this:
Quote:
Diagnostic Features:
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is a condition characterized by a chronic preoccupation with rules, orderliness, and control. This disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and disabling. The individual with this disorder often becomes upset when control is lost. The individual then either emotionally withdraws from these situations, or becomes very angry. The individual usually expresses affection in a highly controlled or stilted fashion and may be very uncomfortable in the presence of others who are emotionally expressive. The person often has difficulty expressing tender feelings, and rarely pays compliments.
Complications:
The individual's chronic preoccupation with rules, orderliness, and control seems to prevent many of the complications (e.g., drug abuse, reckless sex, financial irresponsibility) that are common to some other personality disorders. Occupationally, the individual tends to be a high achiever with an excessive devotion to work. However, inflexibility, perfectionism, preoccupation with detail, and inability to delegate work may seriously interfere with the individual's ability to complete a given task. The individual experiences occupational difficulties when confronted with new situations that demand flexibility and compromise.
and that describes my obsessive nature to a tee. It still doesn't account for my delusion but that probably just comes from being stupid and having an ego. Or maybe I have that vice-versa. Anyways I'm going to set up an appointment with my doctor and address my obsessive habits and my delusion and hopefully I can get pills or something. I want to get better.
The part that ashames me the most is that I projected my own shortcomings onto everyone else and I especially hated the idea of hurting other people emotionally and not knowing it, and that's exactly what I was doing. Last time I tried to face my shortcomings alone I became even more egotistical and delusional than when I started so this time I'm going to see a doctor because it's a good idea to check if these things are being caused by an actual disorder.
