Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I think I'm creatively blocked =A= I can't even draw. Today, the drawings I did make had to be made with the side edge of my pencil so they were shadows and figures or shapes. =____= And the drawing of November was waaaaaay off. Way off. I couldn't draw her hair, which is SO RARE. Like, it has only happened one other time. =A= totally blocked. I can start things but nothing intense. Drawing.... I want it. I want it. I feel like I'm grabbing at clouds. I can bring them closer but can't actually hug them without killing them =A= [/ sigh] I've been home too long. I loose my sense of self here. Most people wouldn't understand this... I think Dev does. Dev and maybe Roku or Firefly. They hear enough... and I think from their own experiences they could get it. [/ sigh]

Had the best night of talking to Dakuo. =w= 'cept, I think I'm catching on that he's no good with metaphors T___T which is so sad cause I can make... some really good and emotionally powerful ones... it's hard to explain what they mean to me... but they are a tool for expression. Maybe in time he'll get some of them? I dunno... we still dun know each other very well.

Night ended up pretty good. I had some soda so that always helps. Might get some tomorrow, maybe not. Madeleine comes over tomorrow =A= hopefully my brother will help me keep her busy. I run out of ideas so fast... she's so full of energy. I feel lethargic around her.

Fu- the fact that I'm so empathetic is kinda pissing me off. Only recently has it been annoying me. I don't... I don't like how much I'm expressing myself through it. I think it's dangerous. I absorb other emotions but I seem to be neglecting that. I've... let a wall down that needs to be there. Stupid girl.

[/ sigh] Birthday is June 26th so he's a Cancer. Will remember. And tonight was a jar night. [/ rolls around] GLASSS JARS <3

>.> you didn't hear that
I dun have a weakness for glass
or keys
or locks
nope
you didn't hear that <.<