Here's the poem Julio van Mustabaph did for my funeral comic!
Julio van Mustabaph
At the funeral they gathered to say their goodbyes
And say a few words in remembrance of his life
First up was Lamia who told of his demise
When she killed him with her oversized knife
That poor idiot Halfnhalf met his doom
At the hands of Lamia that faithful day
When hungry and drooling he entered the room
With only two pesos to spend in the cafe
When he stupidly asked what could be bought
Lamia made a sarcastic reply
But Halfnhalf was devoid of intelligent thought
And so she decided that he just had to die
Lamia described his last moments
Bleeding out upon the diner floor
Blood spraying out ‘til his life was spent
But this drunk butted in saying he knew him more
He launched into an inebriated tirade
About how much a man of action Halfnhalf was
Blabbering on ‘bout how Half went to his Grandad’s aide
When a turtle stole his false teeth right out his mouth
Halfnhalf was a man who wasted no time
Beat ‘round the bush? No, that wasn’t him
Readily keeling over when he had to die
And rotting immediately inside the coffin
Suddenly in the middle of his annoying rant
He retches and lets out a belch loud and long
Then does something we thought no one can’t
He opens wide and vomits out his dog
And then without even skipping a beat
He launched right back into his drunken speech
But Lamia and friend could stand no more of it
And grabbed weapons that were within their reach
So a funeral for one turned into a funeral for two
Because one guy got drunk and lost his head
And just like Halfnhalf the drunk knew what he had to do
So after being shot and stabbed he keeled over, dead
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