Lost
Anger. That's what I wanted to feel. Wanted to be furious at him and all he has done, but I can't. I tried and tried and tried but it was no use. The way he held me, made me want more. But I was supposed to be furious with him, so I pushed him off. He told me the truth, confessed to what he did, but what he did made me mad. I shouldn't forgive, I won't. But it's hard to stay angry, he's supposed to be my friend, and friends laugh at things like that. Why wasn't I laughing then? Why did it matter so much to me? I couldn't tell, I still can't. And I'm sorry, because now I'm no longer here, with him. I've disappeared and I'm different.
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