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Well really it was just one question, one question that makes me uncomfortable, I guess. But it, the question, was someone asked... well not someone, my bf, asked why I stayed with him. And I dodged the question because he's, thankfully, easily distracted. So anyways I just simply answered that he was interesting, and that threw him off track a little. But then of course I was thinking about it, and why, and I suppose it bugged me that I couldn't actually tell him why.
The good reason(s): cuz' he's a good friend of mine, and he never tried to understand what went through my head, he is interesting, he can hold my attention on whatever he's talking about, even if it would otherwise bore me, he fixed me when I was breaking and I guess I love him.
Not so good reason: because I'm scared, I'm scared of what's going to happen if I left, I'm scared that no one else would be able to fix me if I started breaking again, I'm scared that if I told him why I stayed, he'd leave or reject me, truthfully I'm terrified. I've 'fallen in love' before and none of those times ended with a happy ending (obviously), and I'm terrified that the same thing is going to happen all over again. And I always dodge his questions like this because I don't want to open myself up so much, that if (probably when) we did break up, I would be so scarred, that no one would want to be with me again.





**2015 EDIT**
Oh...
Hey I actually realized how selfish I was being and I was actually a little real with myself this time.
Good for me, I mean I should have just completely ignored the first reason because it was a lie that I was telling myself and others, but still.
Good for me.