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I . . . I feel so strange. Like, lately I've just been . . . slipping away. I always feel stressed, angry, and depressed. I can't even relax anymore. I mean, use to I could just barely, but now I can't at all. My mind is just going in circles, "Why? Why? Why?" Why can't my questions be answered? Why am I always like this? Why can't I be normal? gonk
I want to be like the others, I don't like being an indivual. I'm so different . . . too different. No one likes me because of that. Why?
Why won't it all just stop, and I can get back to living? Why do I feel like I'm always dying? I can never breathe, I'm always shaking, always burning. Always. Why?
I'm so frail and weak. Right? That's what they say. For what reason do these nightmares continue to plague me?
I just can't stop it. None of it. I'm falling apart. I can't think straight. But why? How come this is happening to me? Where did I go wrong? Why have you always rejected me?
It hurts, always, aching, bleeding, suffering. My heart, my head, my soul, my being. Always. Why?
Why am I tormented like this? Where has my reality, my comfort, gone? Maybe it's all just a dream . . . but if it was, I wouldn't be hurting.
I've lost myself, within this madness inside me; it won. But why? Why has it happened; how was it born? Is there really always darkness under every stone? And if so, how much? Are minds the same? Hearts? Souls? What? Why is it that my head always feels like it's about to fall off my shoulders, why does it always feel like it's being crushed? Why am I so different? Who am I anymore? Why do I feel like I don't know myself.
Everything is numb, cold . . . everything. But for some reason I keep burning. Feeling every inch of pain. Why?
Writing my thoughts, anymore, just doesn't help. I can't put them in any form, except straight out, that I'm just . . . dying . . . aching, for something, maybe someone. But, for now, I'm alone. Why does it always end this way?
Falling through this universe doesn't help.
. . . . . Why?
Olive_the_Monkey_Ninja · Sat Apr 15, 2006 @ 09:48am · 4 Comments |
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