June 1st.
I think sometimes that if I just give up things have to get easier. Not nesscarily better but easier If I didn't care about what others think than maybe I'd be happier. I want to be smart I want to be an athlete I want to be recongized as somebody important. The stupid thing is that I am to foolish to greatly tied to wanting to be better than those sisters I'm related too. I have to live the life I want not the life I fear. Living like them. Scavengers. There is so much I want to do today. There are so many people I want to hug and cherish so many people. there is even people I want to ask out. But my nerve is unsure. I'm not good at risks. I'm not good at taking chances. Its just diffucult to be afraid is my problem.This is what contains me. But what if I had no fear. What if I was so niavee so flat out stupid that I had no fear and could live life full and on the edge but the thing is below that edge is a valley of pillows and gurdian angles to give us or me wings. For me there is no edge becauseit isn't secure there. I'm not secure there.
My zone of safety is a place I haven't yet found I soon well because I'm getting close really close from the book " The Wild Mind" by Natalie Goldenberg they say that your life has no plot writing is supposed to be free and unbias we are the ones who close the cage on our mind. Its no one's fault no matter what its ours. Even if the gun reachs our head we are at fault. This is karama. Always.
 Khmerhomegurl · Fri Jun 02, 2006 @ 01:10am · 0 Comments |
Yup thats me!