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Hey there stare

Basically this is my reintroduction to gaia. I've had two gaia accounts before. My first account I forgot my name and could only remember the password. After a year I remembered the name but by that time I forgot the password. Now... two years later... I forgot both the name and password. xp My second account, I had to ditch because of a stalker. I mean this girl was so obsessed over me that she would try to talk to me everytime I got on the internet and she even went so far as declaring that she was gonna marry me. Yeah, I'm cool with homosexuals and all but I'm not into girls (with two exceptions stare My Courtney and my Jen-Jen).

On to other things...

Yes I'm a natural blonde with blue green eyes. I'm a girl. I weigh 130 pounds. I'm a tomboy and I can hold my own in a belching contest against a guy. I'm 18 about to turn 19 in two days. I'm a college student at I.T.T. technical institute and I'm also a part-time cashier at walmart. I have 20 pets. That's right, 20! That's 1 gerbil, 1 rat, 1 rabbit, and 17 cats (unfortunately, my mom wants me to get rid of them. Darn her evil ... and I want a dog). I have severe stress, I'm an insomniac, and go between modes of extreme hyperness to manic depression.

Why am I so stressed and depressed you might ask. Well, recently I broke up with my boyfriend of three years (and by all means it wasn't mutual but I had to respect his decision). We were very serious and we had even looked at rings together, but two months before our anniversary he suddenly got distant. Next thing I know, he says that we should take a break. I'm like 'okay, he's done this before. once he's over whatever's stressing him out, we'll get back together, right?' Wrong. It turns out he meant break up and I didn't get that for another two whole months. So emberassed, heart-broken, angry, and basically lost, I ended up seducing my two best (male) friends. And ever since the "breaking of the news" I haven't been able to control my emotions and I've had three nervous break downs. emo
My ex and I are still friends, but everytime he leaves or drops me off at my house, I go to the bathroom and cry. Yeah... I still love him.
But don't get me wrong or think poorly of him. He said he wanted to work on his career first (i.e. pay off his car, get his own place, save up a little money). I honestly wouldn't mind him being a little more independent but he thinks I'm needy and he wouldn't be able to give me what I supposedly want. He just doesn't get that all I want is him.
This whole thing has really increased my creativity though. I've started writing songs and hopefully I can express my feelings to him that way, but I can honestly say that maybe taking a year off isn't too bad. I wouldn't want our relationship going stale, but I don't want to think about him with another girl. I can only hope that doesn't happen anytime soon. He did say that if we still feel the same after all this is over, we can get back together. That's the only thing I'm dreaming of right now and it would make me the happiest I have ever been.

I guess that's all I have to say right now. Byee dramallama