I have to be at work at 6:30 in the morning but I am wide awake. And I'll tell you why. I just had the best two and a half hours of my life.
I met Frank in Kent to go to Bible Study and hang out with my friends. We both decided to leave around 10:30. We walked to our cars and I kissed him and he held me. Neither of us wanted to let go. We just stood there. The other people on the street, the cars, all seemed to go away. It started to rain and we still kept holding each other. My heart was beating so fast and I was so happy I was fighting back tears because I knew, eventually, it had to end. Three times we tried to let go so we could go our seperate ways and maybe get some sleep. All those times we failed and just held each other tighter. When we finally said our final "good night" I got in my car and cried most of the ride home. Took me about 25 minutes to race home because I told my mother I'd be home by 1. Walked in at 1:15 or so. She was pissed.
Now I have to make an attempt to get 4 hours of sleep and be up and perky for work by 6:30.
Am I falling in love? I don't know. Maybe. I've never been in love before. But I do know whatever I'm feeling for Frank is way more than like. When I'm in his arms, I feel so safe and more happy than I've ever felt in my life. I don't want to screw that up. But, I have that fear in the back of my mind. Every time there's something going good in my life and I make big future plans, it blows up in my face. I'll just use the Heinens thing last October cuz I lack a better example. Good job, nice people, I liked it. Was planning on saving so I could be a little bit more independent. And then... they fired me. I bawled. I wanted to die. I never want to feel like that again. But, it's just this nagging fear I have and I know I have to try and get rid of it.
Okay, enough talk. Time to attempt to get some sleep.
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