I've been thinking about how my whole Jana-Dwayne situation brought me down the entire month. s**t, how messed up. In a sense I'm glad I'm with Jana, yet still I feel guilty for Dwayne. He was so set on marrying me and being the father of my children. I still don't understand how people can love such a loser this way. All of this is just one big mess that I'll never be able to fix.
In the long run, will it even matter? Who says I'll even have Jana later?
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