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1.20.2005- One angsty teenagers angsty life |
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blah.... so, anywhay, my last entry was all about my ex and this chick, who kinda rubs me the wrong way... not like that stare but anyway, a last week, my friend told me she saw him kissing her, not making out just kissing. Then, she asked him and he denied it, saying it was just a friendly kiss. it blew over and I hung out with him in the library a bunch this week. anyway, after lunch today, my good friend (who's a dude) saw him kiss her again. Then, today afterschool I got stuck b/c i thought my usual ride was taking me home, but she had to stay after for manga club, so I asked him if he could give me a ride home, b/c he had a full tank and he usually will if I get stuck. but nooooooooooo.... he left me in the parking lot b/c he had to take her home. so, instead of him taking me home (btw, my mom was at the doctor because she sliced her finger open so I was worried and wanted to go home) then while he could, I ended up waiting till almost 4:45 to catch another ride. I was so ******** pissed at him. Yesterday would have been our 10 month anniversary. however, I did hear (good news) that he's not actually dating her. But my friend is also going on about how he's the male equivalent of a nymfomaniac and he dumped me b/c he wasn't getting any so he could be free range and do whoever he wants. But I know he's not like that, simply because I have more faith in him then to think he'd do that. But, onto my bad deeds... oh god....
monday, we were off school, so me and my friend, (who I've known for years and have on and off been in love with) made plans to go to lunch. Only.... we never quite made it there... Instead, we made out...I was so embaressed, I couldn't look my ex in the eye. I don't know what made me do it, I've been really depressed and moping about. I think that, just having him there and the fact that I could and he wanted to made me do it. bah, I dunno. I've only told one person that, and, my friends already think I'm a slut because I've dated and made out with more guys than most, even though almost everything I've ever done with a guy was with my ex. So, I dunno.... I'm just extremely confused about my life right now and needed to get it out. I don't want to lose my ex as a friend, because he's a really neat guy, but i just can't seem to get used to the fact that he WILL date other people.... maybe its just me, but I feel like I have no luck with men. Three guys I've liked/dated have left me for someone else. Or cheated on me. Not a great experience for my first high school b/f.... but anyways.... blah... what a great day... stare
 CajunFaery · Fri Jan 21, 2005 @ 01:47am · 0 Comments |
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