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Ranma 1/2: Maison Bailesu
Howdy, all!
OK, I'll just assume you've already read John Biles' lemon
parody LEMONADE by now... what, you haven't? Go find it and read
it right now! Plugs aside, this story won't make much sense if
you don't.
I know this is billed as a side story, but it doesn't really
stand alone. The reason for this is simple. You see, several
months ago, while I was talking over the Internet with John, he
explained this wacky idea he had for a Lemon parody. Now, I have
an interest in good lemon stories, and I often help John out with
ideas and little things like SPELLING, GRAMMAR, PUNCTUATION :)
Ahem. Anyway, we tossed ideas back and forth. I think I came up
with the idea of introducing the characters as 'actors' and thus
the entire "Biles' Command Complex" bit got written.
Some ideas we threw around included a segment we jokingly
called MAISON BAILESU (which is how John spells his name in his
own pseudo-Japanese :). John put off writing it until he had
finished the rest of Lemonade.
And then he stalled. Since I had been involved in the
planning, I offered to write it. I made a good start (Urd is my
Lemon Muse, she's very good :) and then got blindsided by my Dark
Muse with a rather horrific Ranma tale I've called LIES.
(Hopefully coming soon to RAAS. Watch for it, but it ain't
pretty... you have been warned.) That put me completely out of
the mood for writing light-hearted lemon stories. While I
dithered, John and I had a small communication glitch and he
thought that I was writing a full-blown side story, while I
always intended it to be integrated into LEMONADE. When a
deadline for Ranma fanfic awards came up, John posted LEMONADE,
hoping it would make the cut.
Anyway, I forced my muse back online and finished off MAISON
BAILESU and discussed with John what to do. We finally decided
to post this story separately. For those of you who want to do
your own cutting and pasting, John marked the spot rather
clearly. Later, we'll upload a final copy of LEMONADE to the
archives with this story included.
Anyway, here's the story of what happened on the night
between the two days of 'filming' in LEMONADE. As always,
comments and criticisms are welcome.
OK, I know, enough yakking... I had to do this first because
I know you'd never read it if I put it at the end. :) Here's the
story:
-------------------------------------------------
Ikuko ran through the labyrinthine backstage corridors of
Biles' Complex, looking for the cafeteria.
I knew I shouldn't have tried to take a shortcut, she
thought. How am I going to get these revised trailer listings to
everyone in time?
Turning a corner, she was startled to see a large computer.
The computer was running some sort of screensaver where a giant
eyeball wandered crazily around the screen. When she stepped
closer to examine it, the screensaver winked out and words,
written in large, capital letters, appeared on the screen.
GREETINGS, CITIZEN, the screen read. HOW MAY I BE OF
ASSISTANCE?
"How odd," Ikuko said, stepping up to the keyboard. Maybe
this thing could help her.
I need directions to the studio commissary, she typed.
WHAT IS YOUR SECURITY CLEARANCE, CITIZEN?
Ikuko looked at the bright red security badge she had been
given and typed 'Red' on a whim.
I'M SORRY, THAT INFORMATION IS NOT AVAILABLE AT YOUR LEVEL
OF CLEARANCE.
I need to get these new trailer assignments to the staff,
she typed, desperate. How should I do that?
TRUST THE COMPUTER! THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND! SIMPLY
INSERT YOUR PAPERWORK INTO MY SCANNER AND I WILL ENSURE THE QUICK
AND EFFICIENT POSTING OF THE REVISED LIST. YOU _DO_ TRUST THE
COMPUTER, DON'T YOU, CITIZEN?
Sure, I guess, Ikuko typed, beginning to feed Akemi's
trailer assignments into the scanner. She didn't notice the
Happy Fun Security Laser that promptly reduced her to a pile of
ash.
NOT TRUSTING THE COMPUTER IS TREASON, CITIZEN. HAVE A NICE
DAY.
The Computer--which Biles had picked up cheap in the Alpha
Complex Liquidation Sale as a backup for the Computerniichuans
(repeated dousings can lead to many technical problems)--noticed
that the trailer listings were incomplete and quickly and
efficiently reorganized them. Really, it did, just ask it. It
also sent an order in for Ikuko's clone to be brought on line
before it went back to diligently searching for Commie Mutant
Traitors.
Behind the Biles Studio Complex is a back lot. Normally, it
is empty, save for a few weeds and a colony of escaped lab rats
who are making great headway towards creating a civilization.
Earlier in the day, however, dozens of living trailers were
delivered for the cast and crew of Biles' story, annoying the lab
rats to no end. Oh, the cast and crew were aggravated, too.
The reason for this was depressingly simple. Originally, a
hundred rooms and a penthouse suite were reserved for the crew at
the Plaza Hotel. The Plaza is a very swank hotel, with a
four-star restaurant, swimming pool, gymnasium, and fresh coffee
and doughnuts delivered to your room each morning.
Now, the cost for a hundred rooms and a penthouse is
exceedingly high. Under these circumstances, it is
understandable that the hotel manager thought that the
reservation was a mistake, and cancelled all of them except for
the penthouse suite.
When Biles found out about the mix-up, he thought about
fighting for the rooms, but it was much cheaper to rent a few
prefab trailers. The accidental destruction of most of the
production's mecha made budgetary concerns paramount. The
Penthouse was already paid for, too. One quick executive
decision later, Biles was ensconced in his penthouse, while
everyone else roughed it on the backlot.
Did we mention that this irritated them a great deal?
Godai trudged down the sidewalk. He had thought that his
day could not get any worse, but now... Kyoko was managing the
staff housing. How could he keep her from hearing about what
sort of story he was writing?
"I'll just go back and sleep in the Command Center," he said
aloud, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. "I'll just say I
was working late... yes, that's the--"
"Move along or be... EX-TERMINATED!" came a tinny, annoyed
voice. Godai quickly made room for a Dalek who was muttering
something about agents and being tipped over.
He was just turning around to head back to the studio when
he heard the most horribly dreadful thing he could imagine.
"Godai-san! Konbanwa!"
"Kyo-Kyoko!" he stammered, turning around. She was smiling,
standing in front of the entrance to the backlot, handing out
trailer keys to everyone. His throat constricted, as it always
did. She looked so beautiful in her PIYO-PIYO apron.
"How was your first day, Godai-san?" she inquired, trying to
figure out exactly how to hand the Dalek his key. The Daleks are
superbly suited for the extermination of all other lifeforms in
the galaxy, but the lack of hands and their inability to handle a
slope steeper than 30 degrees hinders them at times. That is why
they usually delay their invasions until a world invents
elevators and handicapped-access doors.
"F-Fine, Kanrinin-san," Godai stammered, resorting to old
habits and calling her manager, like he did at Ikokku-kan. He
was safe, as long as no one told her about the story...
"Don't listen to Godai-kun," interrupted Mr. Yotsuya, clad
in his impenetrable trenchcoat. "It is obvious that the ronin is
doomed to failure in his present task."
"YOTSUYA-SAN!" Godai exclaimed.
"Now, now..." Kyoko said, finally deciding to just loop the
key over the Dalek's Ray-of-Death-and-EXTERMINATION and asking
its trailer-mate, some guy wearing a black robe and carrying a
scythe, to help it with the door. "I'm sure Godai-san is doing
his best, ne?"
"Hai, Kanrinin-san."
"Well, welcome to Bailesu-kan, Godai-san. You're in trailer
5a... I think..." she said, handing him a piece of paper.
Godai looked at it. It had apparently been printed by a bad
dot matrix printer and said:
GREETINGS, CITIZEN GodaiYu-U-SKU-1
YOUR FRIEND, THE COMPUTER, HAS CHOSEN THE VERY BEST IN
AVAILABLE PRE-FABRICATED TRAILERS (CONSTRUCTED ENTIRELY OUT OF
HIGH-TECH TIN FOIL AND PRE-MASTICATED SUCROSE STICKS) FOR YOUR
RESIDENTIAL NEEDS! YOU WILL BE LIVING IN TRAILER 5a WITH
YOUR TRAILERMATE(S): OtonashiKy-O-KO-1, Yots-U-YA-1, Ich-I-NSE-1.
ENJOY YOUR STAY AND REMEMBER: THE COMPUTER IS YOUR FRIEND!
STAY ALERT!
TRUST NO ONE!
KEEP YOUR LASER HANDY!
"What is this?"
"I don't know, Godai-san... I got a list of last minute room
arrangements from Biles-sama and they were all like this. I
can't even read most of these names, they're so horribly
mangled."
"Are we... we..." Godai stammered, having figured out the
names of his trailermates.
Kyoko and Mr. Yotsuya looked at the form. Kyoko immediately
blushed bright red. Mr. Yotsuya looked very pleased with
himself.
"Ah, we will be bunking together, ronin-san. How fortuitous
is fate."
"Yotsuya-san! Please, there must be some mistake," Kyoko
stammered.
"Excuse me?" said a strange voice.
The three of them looked up to see a LARGE crowd of people.
The speaker, apparently an alien of some sort, said politely,
"Excuse me, Kanrinin-san... is it possible for some of us to swap
trailer assignments?"
Much later, Ranma (or Citizen Saotome-R-NMA-1, as the
Computer had labeled him) finally collapsed in his trailer. His
first room assignment had been with a Triffid, a facehugger pod
(ick!) and a Kzinti warrior. The first two, while disgusting,
weren't too bad, but the last, a man-sized, humanoid CAT... He
shuddered.
A bewildering array of trailer swaps and trades was underway
outside. Everyone was trying to find more acceptable housing.
Finally, Akane had dumped him in her trailer, threatening to
mallet anyone who disputed her.
Ranma sighed and was trying to relax on his small cot when a
faint "mew?" startled him.
It came from a small kitten poking its head out of his cat
carrier. The kitten's fur was a patchy melange of orange and
black, with a white splotch on its face and one white foot. It
mewed again.
Ranma smiled and scratched the cat behind its ears. "Hiya,
Nekchan," he said. Nekchan, assuming a haughty look, narrowed
its eyes to slits as it deigned to be scratched. Ranma then set
out a water bowl, filling it from a thermos he kept in his bag.
Nekchan had been a gift from Akane and Ukyou after Ranma
completed a year of psychological treatment for his fear of cats.
He could now handle one or (maybe) two cats at a time, especially
cats he knew. Strange cats and large numbers of them would still
send him into fits, but he was pleased with his progress.
Ranma was still petting Nekchan when Akane came back in.
"Whew! Everything is still a mess out there," she
complained, smiling at Nekchan and Ranma.
Ranma looked around, out of habit. "What about Shampoo,
Kodachi and Ukyou?"
Akane sat on the cot next to Ranma. Nekchan immediately
leaped onto her lap, preening for attention. "I haven't seen
them." She looked around as well. "I guess it's just us two..."
She scooted closer to Ranma.
Ranma wrapped his arms around her. "I guess so," he said,
grinning.
Ranma kissed her, his hands slowly beginning to unbutton her
blouse--
Someone knocked at the door.
Sighing, Akane went up to open it. Something like this
always happened when she and Ranma tried to find some time alone
together. It seemed the only times they got to make love was on
camera!
Opening the door, Akane was greeted by a young, very
familiar-looking redhead.
"Hiya, cuz!" the redhead said, giving Akane a big hug.
"Ranko! Come in! Hey, Ranma! Look who's here!"
Tendo Ranko, Akane's cousin and sometime stand-in for
Ranma-chan (when Ranma-kun and Ranma-chan had to be filmed
together) waved cheerily at Ranma. "Hiya, cuz-in-law-to-be!" she
said, speaking so fast the words whipped by Ranma's ear.
Ranma's friends were always amazed by Ranko's resemblance to
Ranma's female form, but she wasn't an exact copy. Her hair was
only shoulder-length, and not in a pig-tail (except when in
costume) and she normally wore a nice dress or, like today, her
sailor fuku, totally unlike Ranma's male clothes. She also wore
a little light make-up, and was about six months younger than
Akane and Ranma.
"Um, Hi, Ranko," Ranma said. Nekchan mewed for attention,
which was promptly lavished upon him.
"What brings you here, cousin?" Akane asked, oblivious to
any discomfort Ranma was showing.
"Well, Biles-sama called me up, direct, and asked me to come
here! He said he needed me for another part. And this time, I
don't get stuck in a mirror!"
"That's great!" Akane exclaimed. "I get to see so little of
you, what with our busy schedules... let me go and get some tea
down at the Cha Cha Maru and then we'll talk, 'kay?"
"Sure thing, cuz! I'm sure Ranma-san and I can find
something to do while you're gone."
"Um, Akane..." Ranma began, a big sweat drop forming behind
his head for some reason, "why don't I go get the tea and you
spend some time with your cousin...?"
"Have you forgotten Ukyou, Kodachi, and Shampoo, Ranma? If
they see you, you'll never get back here. Ranko, make sure he
doesn't go anywhere, even if you have to sit on him, OK?"
"Haaaaaiiii!" said Ranko.
"But, Akane..."
Akane went out the door and back into the crazed mob of
trailer-swappers.
Ranma tried to go to the door to shout after her, but he
found himself occupied with more pressing concerns. Namely, a
very cute and curvaceous redhead sitting on his lap.
"Now, now," Ranko purred, "Akane-chan said for you to stay
here, Ranma-san." She wrapped her arms around Ranma's neck and
leaned close, pressing her breasts against him. Ranma's pigtail
stood straight up. "Now, what shall we do to pass the time...?"
Her lips brushed his in the beginnings of a kiss.
"Ranko! Stop it!"
Ranko looked deeply into Ranma's eyes, shifting her legs
around so that she straddled his lap. "I don't think you really
want that, Ranma..." she purred, leaning down to nibble on his
earlobe.
He jerked away. "Come on! I'm engaged to your cousin!
You're engaged to Kunou! It's not mmsdsdjflsjkd--"
Ranma's arguments were stopped cold by Ranko's kiss. He
struggled to break it off, but she was relentless, pressing him
back against the trailer wall beside his cot. Dimly, he became
aware that his warrior of love was awakening, twitching inside
his pants.
For the record, it must be stated that fidelity for Ranma
and Akane is a somewhat different notion than for the majority of
sentient beings on planet Earth. Given the amount of mind
controlling food, temptations, and petty jealousy they encounter,
it is nearly impossible for them to remain monogamous. Hence,
they long ago decided to adopt a policy of total honesty with
each other about any sexual relations they might have with other
people. This usually works pretty well because they truly love
each other and know that their feelings will not change. So,
while Ranma knows of Akane's flirting with Biles (though she told
him it has not gone beyond kissing and some groping. Biles seems
to be easily distracted by little things like purple-haired
Amazons tossing him into walls) he is not planning to reduce
Biles into a red paste. Fantasizing about it, yes, but not
planning to do it seriously. Really.
Ranko, however, is another problem. Ranma knows that Akane
would have several reasons for objecting that this is far
different from his infrequent liaisons with Nabiki, Ukyou,
Kodachi or Shampoo, or her flings with Ryouga (before he met
Akari), Shinnosuke, or Toma. First of all, Ranko is engaged to
Kunou. Second, she's family. Finally, Akane labored under the
delusion that Ranko was a sweet, innocent little girl (instead of
an aggressive young nymphomaniac) who would never initiate
anything, hence Ranma would HAVE to be the instigator of the
whole mess. And deserve a thorough malleting.
Not that that was a bad thing, as Akane usually felt sorry
afterwards and made it up to him, apologizing and kissing him
where it hurt... and some places it didn't. But the actually
malleting, the feel of wood and iron (or was it adamantium?)
crushing his flesh...
Images of descending mallets distracted Ranma while Ranko
broke the kiss and began to unbutton her blouse.
"Oh, Ranma-san," she breathed, "I want you so bad... you
don't know what it's like with Kunou... his idea of foreplay is
poetry reading and tea ceremonies!" She looked thoughtful for a
moment. "Though the actual sex is niiiiiice," she giggled.
Stripping off her blouse, she brought Ranma's hands up to her
firm breasts, letting him feel how round and perfect they were.
"I want a night with a real man... one who will come more than
three times..."
THREE times?! thought Ranma, panicking. Kunou must have the
stamina of a horse! "But Akane is--" he began, even while his
hands unconsciously squeezed her fleshy globes.
Ranko moaned a little at his touch. "She won't be back for
a while," she said, her hands now dropping down to open Ranma's
pants. "We have enough time for a quickie now..."
'Now' implied more, later. Ranma surged to his feet, the
idea providing the impetus he needed to dump Ranko on her bottom.
Driven to desperate measures, he grabbed Nekchan's water bowl.
Nekchan protested loudly and scooted under a cot. One splash
later and two buxom redheads, one wet and clothed, the other
half-naked (and not exactly dry.)
"Well, we can't do anything now, Ranko," Ranma-chan said,
triumphantly. "Not until Akane comes back with some hot water at
least."
Then Ranma-chan noticed the look in Ranko's eyes and her
pigtail stiffened in warning. Outside the trailer, as if in
omen, a robot could be heard chanting, "Danger, Will Robinson.
Danger!"
"Well, if that's the way you want it, Ranma-san..." purred
Ranko. "I've always wanted to make love to myself..."
"Eep!"
Godai pulled his blanket around himself in rapture. He was
sharing a trailer with Kyoko! Okay, Yotsuya and Ichinose-san
were sharing it as well, and no one else was in the trailer at
the moment, but it was something, wasn't it?
It had quickly become apparent that almost everyone wanted
to exchange trailermates. Even some of the facehuggers were
upset! (Then again, living with Mikado was probably too terrible
to imagine.) So Kyoko had given up on the idea of changing her
trailer and settled for asking Godai to hang a sheet between the
men's area and the women's.
Yotsuya had shortly thereafter disappeared into the Cha Cha
Maru. It seemed some of the crew was celebrating their survival
of the first day of filming. Godai had seen Akemi (Rippongi)
heading there as well, with that other Akemi (Doi, the one with
green hair) and a redhead who looked like Akane. As far as Godai
could tell, from the explanation Akemi had shouted at him over
the din of the crowd, the redhead was also named Akemi, Akemi
Amano, and was rooming with them.
(Actually, it was not THE Cha Cha Maru that Godai knew, but
a movie set facsimile the crew had erected on Akemi's suggestion.
Still, Master had been kind enough to run it, the kitchen worked,
and there was plenty of sake and other drinks... what more did
one need?)
At least Kyoko doesn't know about the film, Godai thought,
brow furrowing in concern. A new sense of resolve filled him.
Tomorrow, he would stand up to Biles! He would rewrite this
story into something clean and decent! He would make Kyoko proud
of him!
The trailer door opened then, quietly, as if the newcomer
did not want to bother anyone inside. Godai heard footsteps as
that someone walked around on the other side of the sheet.
It must be Kyoko, he said, lying very still and pretending
to be asleep. Yotsuya or obasan wouldn't be that quiet.
Looking at the sheet, he could now make out the silhouette
of the person behind the screen. She was definitely female,
shapely and with long, flowing hair. Godai's heart pounded with
unrequited love. Oh, Kyoko, he thought.
Then, the woman began to disrobe. He watched in disbelief
as she unbuttoned her blouse and dropped it to the floor, her
actions easily recognizable. She turned and presented a luscious
profile. Lust drove Godai's heart into overdrive as her
perfectly shaped breasts were outlined by the light.
K-Kyoko is undressing not five feet away, he thought to
himself, shaking slightly. He hugged himself, trying to get his
rebellious body under control. Stop thinking like that, he
berated himself. Your love for Kyoko is pure, not like this!
While Godai waged his inner war, the figure crouched
slightly so she could slide her pants down her well-formed legs,
then stretched, nearly driving Godai's heart into cardiac arrest.
Then she started moving toward the sheet.
Godai froze. I must have made a noise, she heard me, is she
going to scream orcomeinherenaked!? his thoughts babbled. He
squeezed his eyes shut.
He heard the rustle of the sheet being pushed aside, and the
quiet pad of footsteps approaching. Then someone lifted the edge
of his blanket. His feet felt cold as the blanket was lifted,
then a pair of soft, warm hands slid over them.
Godai risked a peek, but his new bedmate had the blanket
over her head as she crawled onto his small futon. He could see
nothing but her naked back and bottom, which was raised high in
the air as she bent down to...
He felt a pair of lips pressed against his feet. She was
kissing them! Oh, Kyoko's so bold, he thought, deliriously.
Her hands slid up his legs, moving gently over the fabric of
his pajamas. Her touch excited him tremendously, causing his
manhood to throb and grow, pressing against the fabric. At first
she skirted that area, then gave his throbbing member a squeeze
that almost made him come right there, but he controlled this
impulse. I have to show her I'm a man, he muttered to himself.
She slid her body onto the futon, following the progress of
her hands. As she opened his pajama top to caress his chest, her
lips were kissing his thighs and her breasts were pressed against
his legs, two perfect fleshy globes, firm yet yielding to any
pressure. His head swam as they glided up his body, as her mouth
kissed his belly, as her hands slid over his face...
Unable to stay still any longer, he grabbed her shoulders,
his fingers digging into her soft skin. She made no sound of
protest as he pulled her even with himand rolled over on top of
her, heedless of where the blanket went. He would finally show
Kyoko what kind of man he was! That he could take charge and
show her pleasures she had not dreamed of! That he was better
than Mitaka or... or even Souichiro!
With her soft, warm body beneath him, her breasts mashed
against his bared chest, and his manhood throbbing against her
thigh through his nightclothes, Godai leaned close to kiss her,
opening his eyes...
...to be greeted by a flushed face topped by a glorious mane
of purple hair, a face attached to a spectacular Amazonian body,
a face whose perfect red lips opened to purr, "Nihao."
Akane finally forced her way through the mob to the Cha Cha
Maru. Gah, it's almost like the crowd's multiplied since I went
inside the trailer! she thought.
The inside of the Cha Cha Maru was almost as packed as
outside. When they had built it, the stagehands had added a
dance hall, raiding old props from the disco films of the
Seventies to provide a mirror ball and one of those floors that
light up. It was tacky, garish and tasteless, but the crowd
didn't seem to mind.
Over in the corner, Genma-panda was acting as DJ, holding up
signs to announce the songs that blared out of the overworked
speakers. Right now NIN's "Head Like a Hole" was blaring and
everyone was dancing to it desperately, or shoving at people.
Someone shoved her from behind and she spun around angrily.
"Oops! Sorry, Akane!" Kasumi shouted above the music. She
was wearing a short, tight black dress that left her arms and
shoulders bare, well-suited for the hot dance floor. She smiled
apologetically, then wandered back into the throng, headbanging
to the refrain.
Akane just shook her head and made her way to the (somewhat)
quieter bar section, where she asked Master to fill her thermos
with some tea. He nodded and took the thermos.
"Ah, Tendo Akane! Welcome! Please, sit with us," came a
shout. Kunou was sitting with Mousse in a corner. From the
number of sake bottles in front of them, the two had been
drinking for some time.
"Hello, Kunou-san," she said politely. The music had gone
on to something a little quieter, perhaps by Alanis Morissette,
but being able to hear the lyrics more clearly didn't help
Akane's composure.
She looked around the bar. It was off to one side, in a
little alcove, so as to be removed from the noise and crowd of
the dance hall. Several extras and stage hands were drinking, as
well as some of the aliens. In a corner, some woman with long
white hair and dusky skin was sitting on the lap of a bearded man
whose hat was slouched low over his eyes. One of the Street
Fighters, the military man with the blond crew-cut, was drinking
alone at a table. Four robots were in a booth interconnecting
their wiring and making low beeping noises. Behind the bar,
Master was kept quite busy with drink orders. It looked like he
wasn't going to get to her order anytime soon, so she took
Kunou's offer.
"So, how was your day, Kunou-san?"
"It was most edifying. While at first I was sorely troubled
by Biles's new narrative direction, I have come to the conclusion
that it is truly inspired."
"Because of your fight scene?"
"Yes. At last, my true martial prowess is recognized."
"That's just because Godai couldn't write a love scene for
you," Mousse said, his diction perfect despite the alcohol.
"That will be remedied in the end credits. I understand the
villain will separate Ranma into his two halves and I will get to
consummate my affection for the 'pig-tailed girl.' Fortunately,"
he added with a wink, "Ranko is my fiancee as well... I hope the
fair flower will not be too embarrassed by having so many
witnesses to our conjugal act."
Akane frowned. "It -is- a lot to ask of her... she's back
at my trailer now... I just came to get some tea. It's taking me
longer than I thought to get back to her and Ranma."
A shout cut across the relative quiet of the bar.
"Yo! Mashtr!" Akemi Rippongi shouted, staggering off the
dance floor with Akemi Doi and Akemi Amano. Rippongi was
obviously drunk, and her clothes, a short black skirt and a man's
dress shirt, mostly unbuttoned, was hardly decent. Doi (the one
with green hair) was little better, with a turquoise skirt and
halter top. In contrast, Amano was dressed nicely in a simple
white dress. All of them were flushed and sweaty from the dance
floor.
"Shome more sake, Mashter," Rippongi continued, before
turning and winking at the Street Fighter. Doi, not to be
outdone, was already whispering in some stagehand's ear, making
the poor boy's ears turn bright red. Amano blushed and, when
Akane made eye contact with her, rushed over, looking relieved.
"Konbanwa, sempais," she said politely. She was a less
experienced actor than them, having been picked up during
"Putting Your Heart in the Right Place" for a bit part that had
blossomed into a recurring role. She did look uncannily like
Akane, except for her hair, and was very nice. The more veteran
actors had taken her under their wing.
"Akemi-chan, how are you doing?" Mousse inquired. "I have
not seen you since the last Furinkan Summer story."
"Fine, sempai," she said with a blush. "My roommates
decided we would all go out tonight. Biles-sama wants me in the
closing credits scene, so I didn't get on screen today."
"Biles-sama is really packing a lot of people into the
closing credits," Akane commented. "I hope it works out okay."
The song playing in the dance hall broke off suddenly.
Akane saw that her father, wielding a speaker in each hand, was
chasing Genma-panda around. Fortunately, Gosunkugi took over the
DJ station, and put on Pink Floyd's "Money," dedicating it to his
date, Nabiki. Akane couldn't see her sister, however, because of
the crowd of teenagers who started wailing and trying to mob the
DJ booth to get at their heartthrob. Hinako-sensei drained them
before they could wreck the equipment.
"This place is a madhouse," Akemi commented.
"Hai, but it's the only place to get food and drink, unless
we order take out from the Shanghai Restaurant," Akane commented.
"I am surprised so many people are here," Mousse said. "I
would have thought the effects of the H-Rays would keep most of
them busy."
"What? I thought that was just part of the story," Akane
said.
Mousse began to explain about Biles's emphasis on realism
when Akemi Rippongi staggered over.
"Hey, Akemi!" she bawled, wrapping one arm around Amano's
shoulders. "How come you're not picking up a guy? Great pair
like these," she continued, catching both of Akemi's breasts
drunkenly and squeezing, "and you're with these fuddy-duddies?"
Akemi blushed bright red and was trying to stutter some
reply when a hand clapped down on Rippongi's shoulder.
"I think you should not bother her," Ryouga said evenly.
Behind him, his girlfriend Akari was looking grimly at Rippongi.
Rippongi started to make some reply when the big Street
Fighter she had been flirting with earlier loomed over Ryouga.
"Are you bothering the lady?" he asked menacingly, indicating
Rippongi with his eyes.
Ryouga merely smiled slightly and said, "No, just telling
her politely that her company isn't wanted."
Rippongi fluttered her eyelids at the Street Fighter, who
growled at Ryouga. "I think you need a lesson in manners, punk."
"Excuse me, you're Guile, of the Street Fighter contingent,
ne?" Ryouga asked.
"Right."
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I am Hibiki Ryouga, and I
would not stoop so low as to fight you outside of your element."
With that, Ryouga struck swiftly, buffeting Guile about the head
a hundred times in a second. Then, picking the burly man up with
one hand, he tossed him out the bar doors into the street. Guile
landed head first in an alley across the way, and was immediately
challenged to combat by a seven-foot tall blue giant who kept
yelling, "Spoon!"
"That was incredible, Ryouga-sempai," Akemi-gushed.
Rippongi made herself scarce, going over to steal one of the
stagehands Doi was getting cozy with.
"Just a little trick Ranma taught me," Ryouga said modestly.
Akari handed Akane her thermos. "Master already filled it,
Akane. He said it's with his compliments and he's sorry it took
so long."
"Thanks, Akari. Would you and Ryouga like to walk back with
me? Ranko, Ranma, and I were going to spend some time talking
tonight."
"Of course," Ryouga said, smiling. Akari nodded behind him,
looking a little tense.
"Can I come along, Akane-sempai?" Akemi asked. "I don't
feel safe out there on my own."
"I will be happy to escort you, ladies," Ryouga declared.
"Thanks, Ryouga-kun," Akane said with a smile. "We'd better
get going. I hope Ranko and Ranma aren't getting bored waiting."
Ranma-chan was trapped against the wall of her trailer,
trying, without much success, to calm Ranko down.
"Ranko, we can't! We're both girls!" she protested.
Ranko wrapped her arms around Ranma's neck. Sliding her
naked breasts against Ranma's shirt, she smiled when Ranma
swallowed nervously.
Ranma's head was spinning. It -did- feel good. That
strange tingle was beginning again in her breasts. She felt like
something should be throbbing by now.
"Aren't you always saying you're still a man, Ranma-chan?"
Ranko purred, nibbling Ranma's earlobe again. One of her hands
deftly began to unfasten Ranma's shirt ties. "You know you want
me... and I know you've always wanted to do this with Akane... as
a girl. You're curious, aren't you?"
Ranma froze, letting Ranko do what she wanted. That was
something she had never told anyone, especially not Akane!
Ranko continued, stripping Ranma's shirt off of her and then
let her breasts rub slowly against Ranma. "I know you are... and
you know what? Akane's told me she's curious too... she thinks
you're very cute as a girl..."
Ranma could barely concentrate now. She squeezed her legs
together, vaguely aware of some warm itch between them. Her mind
swam with images of Akane naked, of the love scene they had just
had.
Ranko stopped talking now, well aware that Ranma was beyond
conscious thought. When his willpower failed, he was like putty
in anyone's hands. Smiling, she lowered her head to one of Ranma
lovely breasts. The light pink nipples were already stiff with
desire. She wrapped her mouth around one and ran her tongue over
it, eliciting a gasp from Ranma.
Ranko had never felt so aroused. One of her hands dropped
down under her skirt. Her sex was hot and moist, as she knew it
would be. She began to rub it frantically.
Then a hand closed around her wrist. It was Ranma. Ranko
let out a small groan of disappointment as she was thwarted in
her quest for self-gratification. Then Ranma whispered,
"Please... let me?"
Ranko let out a small sigh, one quickly replaced by a moan
as Ranma's deft fingers replaced hers. She let Ranma's n****e
fall out of her mouth and moved upward to kiss Ranma on the lips,
their tongues writhing against each other even as their bodies
began to do the same.
"S-shampoo? What are you doing here?" Godai demanded
nervously, his manhood wilting. This was not what he had
expected.
Shampoo winked and kissed the base of his throat. "I
thought you might be lonely," she purred, "and I wanted to keep
you company."
Godai was very conscious of her soft, naked body beneath him
and struggled to break out of her arms. "Do you always sneak
into someone's bed when they might be lonely?" he asked, trying
to regain his equilibrium.
"Ancient Amazon custom," Shampoo giggled, her arms holding
him against her even more tightly than before. "I also thought
we might discuss the scenes you're going to write tomorrow."
Oh, so -that- is what this is about, Godai thought as he
struggled vainly. Shampoo was much stronger than he, however.
All his efforts merely made him more aware of Shampoo's lush
form.
"Biles promised me a love scene with Ranma," Shampoo
continued, smiling as Godai tried to escape. "but the b*****d
isn't going to do it. I want you to work a scene in."
"Why should I do that?"
"Because," she said, her voice becoming huskier, "I'm going
to be very... nice to you. Very, very nice. My village has
-other- competitions besides martial arts, you know. I was
number one in them as well." The last came out in a sort of
throaty purr that sent a surge through Godai's manhood.
Kyoko, give me strength, he prayed silently. Please,
someone, help me out of this mess! Anyone!
Suddenly, the curtain dividing the room was ripped away and
a brilliant klieg light was trained on them. Two figures, one
tall and thin, the other short and dumpy, scuttled behind the
light.
"Yes, Ronin! Put your heart into it!" shouted Yotsuya
through a megaphone. He was sitting in a director's chair and
held a camcorder in his hand. Beside him, Ichinose-san kept the
light trained on Godai and Shampoo.
"Y-Yotsuya!"
"This is just great," growled Shampoo, letting go of Godai.
"Cut!" said Yotsuya. "Ronin, you must try harder to get
into character."
"Yotsuya-san! Get out of here!"
"Now, once again from the top!" shouted Yotsuya. "Lights!"
Ichinose, trying not to laugh, brought the light closer to the
pair. "Camera!" The red light on the camcorder blinked into
life. "Act--" The light blinked off again as Shampoo grabbed
the camera and slammed it against Yotsuya's face.
"I don't work for amateurs," Shampoo growled, letting
Yotsuya drop to the floor.
"And that's... a wrap," Yotsuya muttered as he collapsed.
Ichinose turned off the light, realizing that teasing Godai was
one thing, but teasing an enraged Amazon was another thing all-
together.
Godai put his head in his hands. His cushy job had turned
into a nightmare of pornography. His restful night's sleep had
become an amateur film session, complete with one naked Amazon.
Things could simply not get worse.
"What's all the noise--?" Kyoko began to ask as she entered
the trailer.
Godai froze. His life passed before his eyes, followed by
the lives of his parents, grandparents, and so on down the entire
Godai family line. He could see the faces of all his ancestors
floating before him, and they imparted one small bit of advice,
the accumulated wisdom of his family's experiences.
"It can ALWAYS get worse."
Ryouga, Akari, Amano Akemi, and Akane walked through the
thinning crowd. Akane and Akemi were walking in front,
discussing the upcoming Furinkan Summer plots, while Ryouga and
Akari followed behind. Akari seemed down, for some reason.
"What is it, Akari-chan?" Ryouga asked.
Akari opened her mouth to speak, then closed it and looked
down at her feet. "It's nothing, Ryouga-kun," she muttered.
"Come on, we've been together too long for that. What's the
matter?"
Akari sighed. "It's Akane."
"What? I've told you, it's all over between us--"
"No, it's not, Ryouga-kun... I know you were looking forward
to a love scene with her."
Ryouga froze. "How--?"
"Like you said, we've been together too long. You still
love her, don't you?"
Ryouga was silent. He had been dating Akane for a while,
off-camera, back in the early days of their careers. But, over
time, they had drifted apart, and her love for Ranma grew. He
had denied it, and it had put a strain on his friendship with
Ranma until they were almost as bad as they were on-screen.
Then, Akane had left him, leaving a tear-stained note that he
kept, even now. He had managed to put his life back together,
and he had Akari-chan, a beautiful young girl who loved him
totally, but still...
"I don't know, Akari-chan... I think I may always love
her... but Akane and I aren't meant to be together." He wrapped
his arms around her. "I -do- love you, despite any
might-have-beens. Perhaps it's just as well I didn't have the
scene with Akane... it would have dredged up old memories best
left alone."
"So, you don't have any regrets?"
"None... except that I wish we had met earlier. We might be
married by now."
"Ryouga...?"
Ryouga looked extremely embarrassed. "I was saving this for
the right moment, Akari-chan... but now is as good as ever, I
guess." He produced a small ring-case from his pocket. "Will
you..."
"YES!!!" Akari yelled, wrapping her arms around him in a big
hug, bowling him over.
"Way to go, sempai!" cheered Akemi. She and Akane had
noticed the conversation behind them and had been watched
quietly.
"Congratulations, Ryouga-kun!" beamed Akane, as she helped
the two lovebirds up.
Akari and Ryouga blushed mightily, but their eyes were only
for each other. With as much dignity as he could muster, under
the circumstances, Ryouga opened the ring case and took out the
gold ring inside it. It had a small pig engraved on it, with
little diamonds for eyes. Akari's eyes opened wide and she
squealed when she saw it.
"Oh, Ryouga-kun! It's -perfect!-" And then she wrapped her
arms around him for another hug, kissing him this time.
Akane and Akemi watched in amusement as the kiss went on and
on. Finally, Akane turned to Akemi.
"I think they're going to be a little busy now. We're
almost home, anyway. I'll see you tomorrow, OK?"
"Right, sempai!" Akemi went off to her trailer, now in
sight.
Akane looked at Ryouga and Akari again, noting the
remarkable lack of interruptions they were enjoying.
Why can't Ranma and I ever get any time alone? Akane thought
as she trudged to her trailer. It's so unfair...
She was so caught up in her thoughts she almost missed the
small moan coming from inside her trailer as she pulled out her
key. But she did hear it and, curious, she took a peak in one of
the windows.
"Kyoko!!" Godai exclaimed, once his paralysis and ancestral
visitation was over.
Kyoko was suffering a bit of paralysis herself as she took
in the scene. Then her finely tuned managerial skills kicked in.
"Miss Shampoo," she said, icily, "I think you have the wrong
trailer, do you not? And Yotsuya-san, Ichinose-san, what are you
doing with all that camera equipment? Are you hurt badly,
Yotsuya-san?"
Shampoo sighed. It seemed she would get nowhere with Godai
tonight. Ah, well...
"I was just leaving," she said, going for the door,
completely unmindful of her nakedness. Before she left, she
turned to Godai and winked. "Sorry, Godai-kun... guess you'll
never know what you missed." Then she was gone.
"K-kyoko, I can--"
Kyoko ignored Godai utterly, bending over the moaning figure
of Yotsuya. Already a bright purple bruise was blooming on his
cheek.
"Ichinose-san, you had best get Yotsuya-san to the Ogenki
Clinic. They may be able to help with this."
"Why should I have to--" Ichinose trailed off as Kyoko fixed
her with another icy glare. Hoisting Yotsuya over her shoulder
with surprising ease, Ichinose left, grumbling to herself.
"Kyoko, it's not... she snuck in here! I didn't..."
"I know, Godai," Kyoko said quietly, her voice sounding more
normal.
"So you see, I'm innocent--you know?"
"Shampoo tries this with most directors and scriptwriters...
it's no secret. Since Biles-sama is usually immune to that
tactic, she saved it for you."
Godai was astonished. Not at the information about Shampoo,
but rather at how calmly Kyoko was taking everything. Was it
possible that she cared for him and would understand his feelings
for her? He must tell her the whole truth, now.
"Kyoko, I... I need to tell you about this movie... it's--"
"I know about that too, Godai."
"Y-you do?"
"Everyone's talking about it. Something is wrong with
Biles-sama, but I know you'll do your best to make it right."
"Hai! I will, I promise! Somehow, I'll make it right,
Kyoko."
And then, the astonishing thing happened.
Kyoko kissed Godai on the cheek.
For Godai, angels sang praises, the holy grail was found,
Kal-Torak was slain, the One Ring was cast into the Cracks of
Doom, the Dark One was imprisoned beneath Shayol Ghul... all of
this at once, amplified a million times. Kyoko approved of him!
She had kissed him!
Then he fainted dead away.
Shampoo stalked away into the night, pausing only to pound
anyone or thing that stared too long at her. All that work and
build up, ruined so easily.
"Would you like a robe, Shampoo, my dear?" said a voice out
of the darkness.
Turning, Shampoo saw Mousse, holding out a pink silk robe he
had produced out of nowhere. She shivered slightly, feeling a
faint thrill, as she recalled the other things he could produce.
Then she stamped on that emotion.
"I take it your attempt to seduce our scriptwriter didn't
work out?"
"No... we were interrupted just as I was getting started."
Mousse chuckled. Shampoo turned on him in a rage. How dare
he make fun of her like that! She swung at him.
Mousse caught her wrist effortlessly. "I could help you
with your problem, you know."
Shampoo froze. Mousse's voice had dropped an octave and was
filled with a subtle menace she had heard only a few time before.
The voice promised pleasure and delights mixed with subtle
cruelties and degradations... things a part of her yearned for.
"No thank you, Mousse! I don't think that will be
necessary."
"Why do you keep struggling against me, Shampoo?" Mousse
stepped closer to her, seeming to grow in the shadows. His
glasses gleamed even as his face was swallowed in darkness.
Shampoo tried to step back, but there was a trailer behind her.
"You think Ranma is the one you want, because he is strong
physically but can be controlled so easily. But we both know
that's not what you -really- want."
"And what would you know about that?" Shampoo shot back,
trying to ignore the anticipation shooting though her body. She
was not weak! she shouted to herself. She didn't want this!
"I know that you fight merely to encourage someone to fight
you harder. That you run to encourage the chase. And that you
want the chase to end with you vanquished and bound, utterly
helpless against your new master..."
"N-no... I--"
She was cut off as Mousse pressed her against the wall of
the trailer and kissed her. She struggled against him, but he
seemed so strong. He batted away her flailing arms and legs and
bore down on her.
Shampoo felt weak beneath his assault and knew that once
again, he had defeated her. Now he would take her away, to his
special room, where the chains and whips and leather restraints
and handcuffs were, to pleasure her until she cried and begged
for mercy, to punish her until she orgasmed, mixing the two until
she collapsed, cursing him... and her nature.
"You'll always be mine," he whispered to her, "bound
forever."
And she knew he was right.
Akane gasped at what she saw. Two red-haired girls,
obviously Ranma and Ranko, though she couldn't tell them apart at
first, were lying naked on a cot, their heads buried between each
other's legs. Their faces and thighs were shiny and slick with
love juices and even as she watched, the one with the pig-tail
(who must be Ranma) was shaking and moaning in an obvious orgasm.
How DARE he?! she thought to herself, outraged, even as she
couldn't take her eyes off the sight before her. Seducing my
little cousin like that!
But Akane felt tingles of something different beneath her
anger. Ever since she had admitted--to herself, anyway--her love
for Ranma, she had wondered about his female side. Such thoughts
had made her feel both ashamed and aroused, and she tried not to
dwell on them. But now, faced with this, the thoughts fought
through her anger.
"Oh, Ranma! Yes! Stick your hot tongue inside my c**t!"
squealed Ranko, inside the trailer, and Akane felt another shock.
Her cousin, talking like that? Where was her innocence, her shy,
reserved nature?
Suddenly, like one of those three-d pictures that you stare
at for hours until the hidden image suddenly resolves before your
eyes, Akane saw the truth. She saw Ranko's little flirtations,
the nervousness Ranma always showed whenever he and Ranko did one
of those publicity shoots, and how Ranko and he would disappear
for a time during them. How Ranma always tensed when Ranko's
name was mentioned. Her cousin was, and always had been, a slut.
Somehow, the shock was not too great. It was like she had
known it all along, but denied it. Now that there was no chance
of denial, the fact was easily accepted.
And she would deal with it.
Once Ranma had given up all hope of avoiding or defusing the
situation, she had acquiesced to it almost willingly. She knew
that there would be a price to pay, but her arousal, curiosity,
and hormones made it easy to put that thought aside for now.
Ranko had been an eager and enthusiastic teacher, showing
her what pleasures could be brought forth from the female body.
She had played her tongue across Ranma's nipples until Ranma had
orgasmed from that alone, showing how sensitive they were, and
how much more sensitive they could become. Ranko's hands had
slid across Ranma's skin, scratching, caressing, stroking until
the tingles Ranma had always felt blossomed into flames. And
finally, she had introduced Ranma's mouth to her sex, showing her
how to explore its wonders with her tongue.
Ranma had been an apt student.
And yet, Ranma felt that something was missing. As good as
Ranko was, as pleasurable as the experience had become, it was
not complete. Ranma's thoughts kept turning to Akane, not the
writhing nymphomaniac beneath her, and thought of rubbing their
breasts together, of tasting her juices... that thought triggered
another orgasm right there.
Just as the door slammed open.
"Cousin..." growled Akane, hammer at ready. That strange
blue aura of utter, focused rage was blindingly bright around her
form. Ranma, still in the throes of orgasm, felt a detached
panic. Ranko's feeling were a bit more immediate.
"Cuz! I... that is..."
"Get your clothes and get out! I'll talk to you later,
'Cuz.'" Akane said, waving her hammer.
Ranko nodded and quickly, without argument, gathered up her
clothes and slipped them on. With an apologetic, "Bye, Ranma"
she darted outside.
By now, Ranma was more conscious of her predicament and
panic was reaching full-blown proportions.
"Akane! Listen... I can explain!"
"She seduced you, didn't she?" Akane said flatly.
"Well... yes, she--"
"And you turned yourself into a girl to stop her."
"Yes... but..."
"It didn't work?"
Ranma turned away from Akane. "I didn't want to do it, but
she... she made me feel good, even though I was a girl. She...
touched me in ways that I didn't imagine possible. And yet..."
"And yet?" Akane asked quietly, moving a bit behind Ranma.
There was a faint rustle, but Ranma didn't want to turn around
and look, fearing a mallet in the face.
Ranma winced. When Akane was quiet, that meant her blow up
would be huge! She was going to be in the hands of the Ogenki
Clinic for hours. Still, she continued.
"It wasn't right... I kept thinking of you, even though it
was wrong and I was a girl. Despite everything Ranko did, I
wondered how you would be..."
"You wanted me... as a girl?"
"Hai," mumbled Ranma, blushing.
Then he felt a pair of bare breasts touch her back. Looking
over her shoulder in shock, Ranma discovered Akane had stripped
off her clothes and was now right next to her. Their eyes met,
and Ranma saw so much love and passion there that she couldn't
help but respond to it. She twisted around and took Akane's
naked body into her arms and kissed her, gently.
"Teach me," Akane said, when their kiss broke, "what she
taught you. I want to love you in all ways, Ranma-chan..."
"Akane..."
They were late for casting call the next day. The
astonishing thing was, there had been no interruptions.
------------------------------------------------
If you want to see other stories I've written, they're
available at ftp.std.com in the archives/anime-fan-works/
directory:
BGC: ANGEL OF DARKNESS
My first fanfic, set in the world of Bubblegum Crisis.
Priss is my BGC Muse, but I don't see why she made me do all of
THAT to her. :)
BGC: ANGEL OF LIGHT
The sequel to AOD, currently unfinished. Priss seems to
have wandered off and is neglecting her Muse duties.
RANMA1/2: GIRLS' NIGHT OUT
A short character piece focusing on Akane and Ukyou. Some
have called it 'too serious for Takahashi' :P but others have
told me that I did a good job exploring their characters.
RANMA1/2 ELSEWORLDS: AKANE1/2
This one I'm not really happy with, and may rewrite someday.
My one and only excursion into script-style writing, and part of
John Biles' (I told you he was a friend :) ELSEWORLDS series.
BTW, some people have said in their story lists that the story
was by John 'with' me... Nope, I wrote it, and all John did was
the opening and closing bits. So lay all the blame for it on my
shoulders.
Future projects: What, I'm supposed to have these? :) OK,
yes, there are a few ideas on the back burner, besides the
aforementioned LIES and ANGEL OF LIGHT. John Biles is letting me
write the next chapter in his Ranma-Urusei Yatsura crossover
series, where we deal with the consequences of Nabiki and Mendou
dating. Yikes! :) I have some other ideas for Ranma1/2 and BGC
I want to explore, and some ideas for Tenchi Muyou and Oh! My
Goddess (perhaps even a crossover between the two... Urd and
Ryouko, Skuld and Washuu... double yikes!) I'm sort of a
contributing plotter/writer for Philip Moyer's SERENDIPITY
series, and also toss some ideas around with other fanfic
writers... sheesh, no wonder I can't get any of my own stories
done. :) If you want to get on my pre-reading list, just throw
me a note and I'll slap you on it.
Oh, and in case you really liked our 'actors' in LEMONADE
and this side story, there are some plans to use tham again. So
you might see them in a less hentai setting somewhere, some time.
:)
Jya ne!
Jeffrey Hosmer
aka Rogue1
--
Jeffrey Paul Hosmer
4001 Old Quarry Terrace
Alexandria, VA 22306
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