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1. Never lie to those of darker skin color, they don't lie to you, so don't lie to them.
2. when you see a white person across the street walking towards you, rush over to the other side.
3. If a person speaking french is trying to say something to you [in french], start talking in japaneese and pretend you speak japaneese-only. he'll go away...
4. If she ever comes back, pretend you don't know who she is...
5. Even if you have to wait to be claimed, and have to wait to even goddamn talk... just freakin' do it. I don't care how badly you wish to end your own pointless life, just wait a goddamn year, see how it goes... and if not, just look for stalkers. stalkers get you out of your sad state... stalkers always bring a little spice to your life... stalkers always make you jump way the phuck up into the celing like when you throw a pencil at the celing-boards and it sticks in the celing but then she like ties up your feet and then she pulls you down and then...
6. Don't trust anyone, you keep trusting people, and you either have to wait lyke 8 goddamn years just to meet someone you figure will hate your guts and try to kill you [which you would like, wouldn't you?] if you get within 3,000 miles of her house... or is faking that she enjoys your company... like all the other girls do...
7. when you break up, stop being soo emotional. i know how you feel... take it in stride like you were some cheap hooker and they were just paying you money for sex...
8. Stop singing that goddamn song... "blue" i think it was.... i swear, if i had a nickel for every time you started singing out that song like the idiot you are... ugh...
9. y'know what, forget it... just ******** sleep when you read this... it'll probably be sunday and really late and you have to get up in the morning to do research on ken akamatsu...

10. okay, sorry... stop crying!... dumb b***h... Look, just go to school, forget about eating so the endorphins stop making you sad, and then like run 5 miles so you can get high 'coz you spent all your money on those new video games...
11. See nate right after lunch about getting an advance for some weed... god knows you need it more than he does... And stop drinking! i should seriously slap you if you hadn't done it to yourself already.
12. just keep thinking, "Shii wouldn't want me to end it..." even if you think that she really doesn't care, just because she can't call because of some strange reason doesn't mean she doesn't care... she's not white like the rest of those sluts... SHE'S NOT WHITE!... she's like that one girl you talked to in middle school, only she didn't leave you for some guy who was 2 inches taller... yeah, i know that was messed up, but y'know, you never made any advance on her, you were just playing around, doing silly word games, taking naked pictures of yourself at her command, and talking in japaneese... what did you expect to happen? hell you didn't even try to get her back! you went for the polynesian girl right after... and then after that you went with her brazillian friend. And man, you gata stop goin' after brazillian girls, or i will personally ruin every single last time...
13. You keep saying you'd never forgive her, yet you don't even know her name anymore. this is why you can't hold a grudge for more than a week... You keep saying you don't give a ******** anymore, but deep down you really do... Just say you do care, and slowly make the transition to "no, i really just don't give a ********". otherwise whenever you hear about a french guy, a guy named damien, or some girl named natalie, or about serbia [WHY IS THERE A SERBIAN GUY IN MY GODDAMN JAVA CLASS WHO SOUNDS LIKE HER DAD?] or about any of that s**t, you don't break down into internal tears... ********' idiot...

14. Basically, just stop caring, but don't give up on life... you still have 1 last thing to do before you die... it's why you were trying to get that collar... after that happens, you wont need to kill yourself... just wait, you'll love it. and if you dont? ask to be put down... because y'know, i think she'll oblige if you act all bitchy about it...

15. on a final note, Wake up. Because you've been sleeping for the past 4 years. Ever since she stole your virginity you've been sleeping. Just get over it... Once you wake up, everything will be better. You think that being claimed will be enough to wake you up? no... it wont even be close enough a shock to open one eye... But suicide won't wake you up either. just make the dream livable by being her pet... if the dream isn't a nightmare, you'll forget that you want to leave, and then you'll wake up in about a year... realizing that you hadn't left it at all... you'll be 10 again, before she did that thing to you... and you'll watch reruns of anime with dad... and you'll stare at the sky when you're fishing with him, and remember how the stars feel like they're gunna fall and crash on your puny head... or mabey you won't wake up. Mabey you weren't dreaming at all, but felt like you were dreaming. in which case you'll be a househusband, doing simple chores, working out, and getting raped. the dream-life of yourself...
"My place disserpeared from this world a long time ago, but that's just the reality i have to face!" he said, right before the chief woke up... once you decide that your world is gone, it comes back... once you know that with every fiber of your being that you'll never go back, that very fiber goes back to where it was... or at least back to where it felt like...

P.S. Dumbass, didn't you read the signs? Her name is natalija, like nostolgia... ********! she's white, and from where it's very goddamn cold. She rapes your heart and then leaves it to rot! how could you have not seen that? You tried to help her, and tutored her, and showed her things that she wanted to learn! and then she uses those very things against you. Can you say "de ja vu" or ********... it's like you got raped all over again... no wonder you're as sad as you were back then... just... get over it! Otherwise i'll have to hide all the sharp objects from you again... geez... that was really depressing on my side too...