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Doubts
I've been thinking a lot lately. I've been wondering why. Why do I continue gaia? Why am I still with my 'lover'? Gaia.... all I do now in my personal art time is try to finish gaia commissions... nothing that -I- Want to do. I don't even have that much spare time. I have college coming up soon and I have to focus on my senior year in highschool. My mother has been loading more and more of her s**t on me to. I have to do so much for her. In the past, I would do thigns for her on a weekly basis. Now I have to do a lot either every day or every other day on top of my school work. I'm just getting tired of doing art that isn't for me in the small time I have. Then there is Lonzell... it's hard to do long distance if there is no contsant communication.. and he isn't very communicative. His phone line is oftentimes unavailable. I would call and not be able to get through, even his cell. I guess I kinda of give up on calling him all together. And he, well, he doesn't really call that often. I don't know. I guess the spark that I have had for him since I was 13 has finally.... fizzled out. I want out but it's har to end this. I don't know how to begin to end this. I've been official with him for over a year and a half. Unofficial for who knows how long. I want out.
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Community Member