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{ I really hate myself and my life right now.//
Yeah, you saw the title. I ******** hate everything right now.
I hate myself, I hate my dad, and I hate you.
I wish I wern't living right now.
here's why.
1. My Dad...oh, forget it. I don't want anyone worrying.
2. Cori has just become what I hoped she would never become..
Over AIM:
Cori: hi
Shia: Hiya..
Cori: Guess what
Shia: Hmm?
Cori: IM POPULAR NOW
Cori: LIKE ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR KIDS IN SCHOOL
...
We promised eachother that we'd always be there. Way back when we were five.
I've known her my whole life...
I always thought it would be that way. Even if she does to to Marlowe.
Now...She's one of those...kids...-eyes tear I...I just don't know what to..to say....
3. A select few of my friends are acting...reserved. Like I don't love them as much as I used to...But...I love them all...
4. Another from my dad, from a recent conversation at dinner.
Mom: So, how was school, hunny? Have any homework?
Me: Great. I had a good time with my friends today...
Dad: *snooty* Hmm.
Me: ...And I got an A+ on my Language Arts test.
Mom: That's good. *nodding*
Me: I know! I really want to move up another level in LA and Reading. I wanna be in at least one class with Mari'+Jess, and I could further...
Dad: I don't think your quite smart enough for that yet, Alexa.
Me: ...
Mom: John! Well, anyway, how was school, Rachel?
Rachel: *sticking spork in meatloaf, desgusted* Good, I goted a star on my spelling test.
Dad: That's great, hunny! You're doing so well!
....
That really hurt me. I always feel second best at everything. My friend can draw better than I can. Someone else can spell better than I can. Everyone can sing better than I can. Even ask my dad. I really do suck at life.
I can't even do 9x6 in my head, for christs' sake.
I'm going to go scream in a pillow now.
 Paper City · Fri Feb 02, 2007 @ 10:13pm · 4 Comments |
