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Hmm... normally I'm not in the best of moods when writing these. I'm not nessicarily bad, I'm just not good. Today I'm actually okay. As in honestly, truely okay. Why? I think it's because yesterday I was writing in my real journal (which I finished... dunno if that's good yet) and I realized something. I tend to be able to think better through writing. Not typing, but actually hand writing. I'm not going to share the realization for a few different reasons.

Anywho, so today was odd. I am actually having a good day. Good things are happening to me. Or at least decent things. Or at least not bad things. I guess some of all of the above. Now, what makes today odd isn't just that, it's that I'm finding out that many of my friends aren't sharing this fate. Actually many of my friends are having really, really bad days. Like Ian got into a car accident and my mom has a horrible migrane. I'll not go into detail on most of the problems because they're my friend's and I'm not sure if these people care to have me sharing their problems with the world, or with those in the world who will read this. *shrugs* It's their news to tell.

But my day wasn't bad. I think I'll step back a few though, because there're a few different things I wanted to mention, but I almost forgot about because I wrote them in my other book.

First, on monday, I went shoping after class because I had worked the weekend before and I was in the mood to buy myself something to make me happy. Sometimes a well thought out CD purchase is just the thing you need. But they didn't have the CD! Nope! Nada! I was so annoyed! What else could I do? Where else could I go to look? I'm not actually a collecter of hard to aquire music so I didn't know. In my frustration I moved on, looking for some other piece of Murchandice to use to consol me. Where did I go? To the book store! Now, I had only intended to buy Jim Butcher's Blood Rites, sixth in the series I'm reading, but ahoy! There they were, so wonderfully laid out for me, two new updates in some of my favorite serieses! I could have huggled them, I did huggle them. I'm a dork and I hug books. Lemme alone. Anywho, after a spiffy forth book, picked out for the simple pleasure of buying another, I made off for the cash regesiter content in my new purcheses. Who needs a lousy CD when you have books to last you a good while. Granted, my favorite's list is once again pending on the completion side of things, but ah well.

So after that I went swimming. Which was great because I didn't actually get much swimming done, I ended up wrestling around in the water for some time with Sam, a fellow Water polo junkie, and I did almost nothing of use other than have a bit of fun and practice throwing and catching, and the slightest amount of blocking. But as I left the pool I realized it was just what I needed. A good burst of exersize is often a great stress reliever. I felt wonderful.

I don't remember what else I did that night, but the next morning I woke up in one of my somewhat uncommon, but not unpredictable states. I was... I gernerally use the word giddy, but I don't think it describes it particularily well. Perhaps, like me, you've been highly stressed over something, like you can feel it weighing down on you, and then suddenly it's gone. You don't always know why, or how, but it's just not there. You wake up in the morning and feel renewed. I felt so good that day. Don't think I'm not still stressed, but some large chunk of it was gone, and I didn't know why. Things just seemed fun, though, and I was getting things done and being productive. I don't think I did much after school other than chess club, and the night was rather uneventful, but I did watch Gilmore Girls, and Loreli and Luke are back together! (yes, I know, I'm a dork who loves that show.)

So... Wednesday... what I do wednesday? I was really tired. But I had done my homework the night before for English (that's what I'd been doing!) so I had time off to do whatever. I went to Maude's house and just sat back and chatted. And we looked at some of the clothes she'd bought when she was high off of her chemo medicine. It's all creams and soft colors, which isn't like her, but I borrowed this spiffy thing that I'm wearing now. Anywho, I was able to talk to her about some of the things I'd written in my journal and just able to kind of put myself at peace a little with different problems in life. And I was able to just hang out and be friends. It was nice. That night at class, though, I was, again, really tired. I basically slept as they went over the reading assignment (god I hope that doesn't hurt me latter on), and I realized that I need a topic for my research paper that's due next Wednesday! OMG I don't know what to do. It has to be on the Victorian age, but I haven't thought of anything that really hits me that I want to write about. I was considering the royal family, but someone already did that. *sighs* I dunno.

Anywho, after that I went swimming again, and I did swim away, then some of my buddies from the other high school in town showed up. They were in the summer program at my school for water polo. I knew two of the guys, but the other I didn't, however he was a friend of a friend so I felt it decent to ask to borrow his extra heavy waterpolo ball so I could practice treading for awhile. I held it up out of the water for at least ten minutes, during that with it fully over my head for at least a minute twice. But then I practiced goalieing with my friend Nate, and he really helped me so I no longer feel so panicked and incapible. I would have hugged him for helping me if we hadn't been in the water and in bathing suits. Yeah, I get a little awkward hugging guys when we're both bassically wearing what may as well be underwear. Except technically bathing suits cover more. Unless you're trying to look slutty or you're a guy in a speedo. And guys in speedo's are gross. Just for the record. Anywho, I had a good time then, too. I was just trying to have fun, and work out, and I did! Except I kinda pushed my arm too hard, and I have this tendonitis thing in it, where if I'm not careful it acts up and that's bad. Very bad. I should be careful, eh? I'm so exicted that water polo starts on Monday, though!

Anywho, moving onto today. I didn't wake up with that sudden release of stress feeling, but more with a calm, quiet, pleastently good feeling. Like everything's okay. That's actually the best way to describe it. Everything's okay. I know there are problems and I'm struggleing with things and at that time certain situations didn't seem like they would lift up, but everythign was okay. Have you ever seen Donny Darvito? I love it how at the end of the movie (don't worry, I'm not spoiling it) something depressing happens, but you're still left with the words "Everything's going to be" either "alright" or "okay". That's how I am right now. Everything's trully, commpletely fine. Except that's in my life, as I've said my friends are having a hard time. However I didn't know that this morning.

But what happened today? School: it was easy. Though we did work out plans for Maude's garage sale. It's actually going to work out. I was worried for awhile. After school was the creative writing club. Again, it's going okay enough. The biggest problem there was my arm was hurting while I croqueted some squares for the blanket we're making for sensei and Mrs. Locey. No croqueting during water polo. It's too much on my wrist. After that... what did I do.... I went home. Watched some TV. Ate some spagettii (mom made spagettii on Wednesday before I went to class so that I could eat it. I wouldn't have been able to if she hadn't made it that early because swimming on a full stomach is hell.) It was yummness personafied. Then I went and picked Patricia up from school. Read a little while waiting for her to come out. After taking her home I grabbed my mom and headed out again, this time heading for the photography studio.

Remember me saying I'm not photogenic? These nice people proved me wrong. At least somewhat. I have never had so good of pictures. I mean, there were five that I seriously liked. I had several that were okay, several that weren't, but five that I liked. Two favorites. If you're a friend of mine expect to get a wallet picture. If you're a really good friend I may give you one of each of the two we had made into wallets. The five I like are going in this thing that has my name, a letter for each picture. (yes, my name has five letters in it.) And then of course a big one for the wall and some 5x7s for grama and host familes. The bill... was big. Too big. OMG pictures cost a hell of a lot. I have to pay mom back for some of it. *clings to a tree* grow money for me! I need money! I only have $250 in the bank! That's not enough to pay mom the $1000 I owe her! (don't worry, that's not all from pictures. It has to do with car insurance, my laptop, and then pictures.) But yeah, it made me really, really happy.

What else happened? Some good news that was actually bad news. And I have to write an e-mail to two people. My host family is simple, but the other I just don't know what to say. It's like with Ian who was in a car accident and got a big ticket because it turns out he's not insured (he thought he was, so it's not like he was purposely not insured.) I'm sorry, I hope things work out better and you can get your car back. Doesn't that sound lame? It's like you're shuffling your feet trying to think of something to do or say, but you really don't know what to do or say? I mean, I can think of a few things I could do. Like say I'm sorry and ask if there's anything I could do. But I really don't know what else.

Side note on the car crash: All he did was scratch some paint. The car wasn't hurt. At all. But the lady decided to call the cops. So Ian got a ticket. He's mostly pissed that the lady bothered calling the cops when there wasn't any real damage. I dunno, I can see both sides, but Ian portrayed the lady as less than a nice person. This may very well be true. Then again Ian may very well be biased. I dunno. I'm not guessing. I'm gonna go ahead and think she's not the nicest of people and that Ian prolly didn't help. But he didn't do anything too stupid after being hit, either. *huggles Ian* That was very good of him. Trust me.

What else... I came home and watched survivor. I have mixed feelings about who was voted off. I kinda liked Jeff, he seemed like a good guy, and Amy seemed really lazy and useless. *shrugs* I like the other tribe, anyway though. so whatever. I like the dolphin trainer. He's funny, and a decent player. OMG! They had this one challege where the point was to swim out and get a lifesaver then pull it to your block. Except you were both going for the lifesaver and you could do anything other than intentionally hit/hurt the other player to win. I would have kicked a** at that game, I'm not even joking. I could have simply held onto that thing and treaded my heart out to pull the other chick over. I have a nice tred for a girl (I say this because any guy waterpolo player worth his salt kicks my a**, while I can beat all the girls. Go figure) and I would have loved this challege. I think I would have done better in both than most of the girls. Except for Angie in the water one, because she did her best. Angie's my favorite player on the team who's lost the immunity challeges.

So... what now? I dunno. I want to talk to someone. Not like any specific someone, but someone. Talking to Ian wasn't so fun because he was mostly venting over the crash, but I understood that so I didn't mind, but I'd love just to have a talk with someone who could talk about something... not nessicarily good, but different. I mostly want to talk about something different, with someone who an entertain me and sound smart at the same time. I can't wait for college. It will be so nice to have a whole new group of people to imerse myself in. When I went to high school I was happy to "start over," but that didn't go well because I didn't so much like the enviroment. Here... I'm not trying to start over, just to keep going. Hopefully with new faces and friends who I can relate to and care about. Just people who I feel like I'm friends with not just because I want friends. Nothing bad against the kids I hang out with at school, but would I really be with them if Ian or Maude or David were hanging out there and I could roll over to that crowd? I don't know, maybe I'm cliquish. I don't care. I just want to feel comfortable around people.

Oh, someone tried to scam me! She was selling a nov 03 letter, and took my offer for it, but when I sent the trade she returned it with a nov 04!!!! Pissed me off so much because I had my hopes up and I was all happy and I thought "yay! In two months I can trade this for all the items I want and it will kick a**!" But I caught her. And reported her. And hopefully she'll get punished however they punish that.

I have a few e-mails to write now, though, so I'm gonna go. *hugs everyone* Be happy. Just... try to calm down a little and go with it. Things get bad, but they'll get better. And if they don't? They will. It may take two months (not even joking) but they will.

Thanks for reading.

Auliro