i have traveled this world over
i have chosen to die
just you watch now
the place where i lie
danger has never been
so just ignore it all
though you seem to care
you are no longer so tall
please give me the power
to see again my home
just watch this grave
this place of my own
this is what has been chosen
do not disturb me
just settle down now and watch
this is what has to be
View User's Journal
KionaRedHawk's Journal
I will most likely write about some of my problems im haveing and write some poems, things like that.
 |
KionaRedHawk
Community Member |
User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
I don't consider myself a master of poetry and prose, but I'm not that bad either.
Here's my advice, Rhyming is just one part of being a poet, and a small part at that. Pay attention to meter and rhythm. Make sure it has a good beat to it. Read your poetry aloud. Don't flower it up. Just speak it monotonously. It helps you get a feel for the rhythm. Pay attention to word choice. Alliteration is better than rhyming in many cases.
Overall, not bad at all. 7/10, and I'm a VERY tough critic, even when I hardly know what I'm talking about. XDD