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Ah, one of those days where I'm just sitting around and wondering when everything changed... the days where I did what you wanted when I wanted to do it are gone. The days back when I used step outside at night only to look at the moon and wonder what I was supposed to do next. The long lost days thats I gazed upon the stars wondering when my search would end and for how long it would end. Even when the search ended I would still stare up as if I still had questions to ask, still wanted to know how long it would take to find the same old answers. Sometimes I wish those days would come back, even though those days were filled with pain and doubt I still wish they were back. I was confident back then.... I knew what I was doing and I knew what I wanted to do. I refused to restrain myself and beat around the bush, I confronted everything head on as if it was a video game and I could just start over if I messed up. I remember them like they were yesterday but the psychological and phisical damage I did to myself during those days made me remember more than just the pain but the lesson. Sad enough as it is to say the things in my past are finally coming back to haunt me and I have few experiences to help me get through the past. You may be able to leave the past in the past when your young but once you get to a sertain maturity it is hard to do that.... no matter what you do you remember it like you just did it.