for all those lovers and haters of Mr. Miller:
1. When Mr. Miller crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
2. When you open a can of whoop-a**, Mr. Miller jumps out.
3.When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Mr. Miller.
4. The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Mr. Miller didn't kill you in your sleep.
5. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Mr. Miller.
6. Mr. Miller ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
7. Mr. Millers' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
8.Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Mr. Miller can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.
9.Mr. Millers' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mr. Miller.
10. Mr. Miller puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
11. Mr. Miller owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
12.Once a cobra bit Mr. Miller's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
13. Mr. Miller can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
14. Mr. Miller can slam revolving doors.
15. Mr. Miller sleeps with a night light. Not because Mr. Miller is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mr. miller
16.Mr. Miller can delete the Recycling Bin.
17.Mr. Miller plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
18.If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Mr. Miller says its beef, then it's freakn' beef.
19.When Mr. Miller looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Mr. Miller and Mr. Miller.
20.Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Mr. Miller can throw Brett Favre even further.
21.The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Mr. Miller has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
22.It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Mr. Miller can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
23.The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Mr. Miller.
24.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Mr. Miller and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
25.Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Mr. Miller.
26.Mr. Miller once finished "The Song that Never Ends".
27.M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Mr. Miller can touch this.
28.The last digit of pi is Mr. Miller. He is the end of all things.
29.Mr. Miller doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
30.When Mr. Miller answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.
31.Mr. Miller can put out water with fire.
 1 Corinthians 13 · Thu Dec 06, 2007 @ 11:54pm · 4 Comments |
