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Those are my chest-waist-hip measurements. Here's why they're relevant:

At school I was bombing on how super fatty girls make me sick with one of my classmates, and I could never be able to bang one to save the human race if it were only me and one of them left on earth. As much as I'd want to be the man who saved humanity, I just wouldn't be able to get hard enough to bang the fatty. One of the other students in the class comes up and tries to be all "holier than thou" on me and look like a good person because she's a decent looking and in shape girl defending the fat and ugly.

I owned her by pointing out that I, and most men, don't ask for much. I'm not a super buff/cut/toned model, and I don't expect anyone I'm with to have a model's body. How is it wrong for a man to want a woman with some semblance of a healthy not overweight feminine figure? Is it too much to ask that your waistline be smaller than your bust and hip lines? As I said, I'm not looking for a 36-24-36 hourglass Barbie doll, but women's skeletal structures have their hips flare out. They're supposed to be wider their waistlines!

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING A HEALTHY PARTNER! It's genetic instinct to seek out someone who is healthy! How is it that I, a fat and super lazy dude, am capable of having better measurements than some women? Given a 33-inch waist isn't very hot on a girl with 37-inch hips, it sure as hell is better than a 42-inch cow's waistline. I mean really, it shouldn't be difficult at all for a woman to have an acceptable shaped figure. They have breasts that make their bust line bigger, and hips that flare out (in addition to a**-cheeks) to make their hip line bigger. There is no proper reason that a woman's waistline should be bigger than her bust and hips.*

Again, there is no need for a body like Scarlett Johansson, Angelina Jolie, or Catherine Zeta-Jones, but at least at least have a waist two inches smaller than your bust and hip measurements. Believe me, it's not that hard. If I can do it (without the help of breasts and flared hips), you can do it.


*Exceptions: Pregnant women (there's something growing in there!), and women who have have been pregnant within the past two years. After two years, you've had enough time to get back to a decently healthy form.