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Everything is good between my parents and me again ^-^
 ~neko neko kitty~ · Fri Jun 02, 2006 @ 08:24pm · 0 Comments |
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You know how your parents always told you to ignore that kid on the playground who was annoying you or being mean? Well I know what it feels like to be on the ignored side now. My parents have yet to reply to an email I sent to them 15 days ago. Now I understand that it's a touchy subject and they need time to think about it and their response and live their lives. I understand that their world does not revolve around me. But come on it's been over 2 weeks! Thyis wouldn't bother me so much if Mom did PM me on Gaia on both her main and mule accounts asking me if I was "done ignoring the family yet" after it took me a mere 9 days to respond. I had to write the letter in a way that they didn't think I was trying to accuse them or offend them. Plus last time it took what seemed like a month to respond to me! It's so frusterating and I can't concentrate on anything I'm so worried about this and it's the middle of finals week. So it's not the best time for me not to be able to focus. So I sent them a reminder email. I'm hoping they don't take offence to it. I basically just asked if they got the email. This is hard on me, but it's something that has to be done. I have to stop being scared to do what I want to do with my life and stop trying to be the perfect daughter since we all know that will never happen.
~neko neko kitty~ · Mon May 08, 2006 @ 06:01pm · 0 Comments |
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I've been feeling a bit down lately. I just want a hug. I want to hear from my parents more, but I can't call them and email isn't reliable anymore... I know that I've been a huge disappointment to them. The first born who finally makes it to colllege and is seemingly throwing her life away to be with a guy and to throw herself into proverty by trying to make it in the world of crafts. I know that I can't make them understand, just prove it. But it's not easy I want them to see my knitting and how much I'm in demand, but I can't not when they're half a world away. I'm just going to have to make it. I don't like being the disobedient daughter, I hate this feeling and I hate knowing that they don't approve of what I want to do... I should be doing something in a practical field right? Especially being from an Asian/military upbringing. I study and I try my best for the most part, I know I slack off at times, but I also know that unless I want to be locked up in my room all the time, I need time to slack off. I'm already in my room most of the time. I don't go out to party, I don't drink, I don't smoke, don't do drugs, hell the only time I go out is for school, to eat, or if I've been invited to a holiday celebration with my friend's family. I don't even go to the mall anymore, and if I wanted alcohol it wouldn't be hard, I could easily go visit my roommate downstairs, he offers to provide, I just always refuse. I see no point in doing something so stupid. I can legally drink in about a year and a half and I really don't want to anyway so I don't see what the big deal is. But back to my point. I'm not like most of the students here. I study hard. I'm thinking of getting a job so I can at least start paying my parents back and have money saved up for the move, but to do that I'm not going to be able to go home this summer and I promised to and aside from that I want to! But I need money I hate this. I hate feeling inadequte and I hate falling short. I know in the end things will work out. Asides from my boyfriend I'm moving to be close to family members, my mom's family. At least I would have social support there all I have here are a couple of friends. I want, no I need, more than that. I have too many problems to be stuck here alone. Besides this is one of the most polluted and dangerous cities in the US! I want to feel safe at night again. I want to be able to go for walks with out carrying around pepper spray and a pocket knife and after dark trying to find someone to walk me home. I want to be with my boyfriend and I want my parents to meet him, I know that they'll like him. I want them to always be apart of my life, I want my dad to walk me down the aisle when I get married, I want my mom around to help me out when I'm pregnant, I want my children to know their grandparents... And I don't what to lose them. I've lost one parent because of his idiocy, I don't want to lose both of them because of mine. I have to make it. I have to be successful and open my yarn shop sell patterns have my comissions going... all things I want, but if I don't have it, then they were right to doubt me and to stop supporting me. I don't want that I want them to see that I made a good decision and I do have some talent... I just wish I knew that they believed in me...
~neko neko kitty~ · Sun Apr 09, 2006 @ 12:51am · 1 Comments |
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As the Offical Harrass the Emo Day
~neko neko kitty~ · Tue Dec 13, 2005 @ 02:47am · 2 Comments |
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Been having a rough time lately. Thought about ranting about it, but I don't know how much info I should give out and whatnot... but BLAH! Life is a b***h right now and difficult and stupid finals aren't helping at all. scream
~neko neko kitty~ · Tue Dec 13, 2005 @ 01:38am · 0 Comments |
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I've been missing the people from Ice Bar a lot lately, if any bother reading this. After it's collapse I tried my best to get it running again and I know a lot of you blame me as the cause of it, but I tried to get it running again. I miss all the friends I made. I tried making a new thread to meet new people and maybe have some old friends stop in every now and then, but no one comes. I have one girl who comes in but we aren't online at the same time usually. I just really miss everyone and hope you all will stop by and say hi sometime, if anyone really still cares that is.
~+Kiki+~
~neko neko kitty~ · Sun Dec 04, 2005 @ 11:27pm · 3 Comments |
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Okay so I signed paper work a few days ago to adopt a couple kittens. Well they won't let me have them until the can contact my deadbeat stupid landlord. So they tell me today they are only holding them until tomorrow. And so I start calling Tony myself since he won't bloody answer his calls. Okay so before I even signed this lease for this piece of crap I call home I asked specificly if I could have cats, most likely two kittens, his accountant, since Tony can't come the hell out himself, says that pets are okay, just not large dogs. And Katy asked the same thing. In fact, she's had ferrets here for a few months just taking care of them for her bf while he was in between houses. And he knew about it and was fine with it, and when they got another one they asked Tony if it would be okay, and also told him I was planning to adopt, and he said both were okay! So I finally get ahold of him today and he's all "Oh no pets allowed" and "They'll have fleas and it'll cost me money to get rid of them" You want to know an easy solution Tony, they're called bloody flea collars! I take care of my pets! Grrr. Oh and he thinks that's gonna cost him? What about the dryer that's broken and he took apart last weekend without any of our knowledge and left like that? And what about my damn heater that doesn't work? I'm freaking cold! The d**k won't return calls I've left messages about the issues, so has Katy, Katy leaving more than me! I bloody want my room to not be freezing and I have like almost no clean clothes now! Stupid deadbeat landlord! I want to punch him in the jaw! Grr. Not only is rent on this stupid piece of crap way too damn high, it not even close to worth it! I am going to get so sick this winter, worse than normal! Damn stupid landlord. He said I could have kittens, he took that away and so not only are my clothes dirty and I'm cold, I'm freakin kitten less! Grrr! I hate this stupid house in this stupid city! I have no idea what I thought was sooooo wonderful about going here! Oh yeah, it was for the bloody dance department, which I can't go to anymore! I hate it here! Oh and the people living here before us had cats! Grr.
~neko neko kitty~ · Fri Nov 11, 2005 @ 01:48am · 0 Comments |
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