Having beaten this game for the first time on this 23rd day of October in the year 2009, I feel my life has become significantly more important. Yes, a game where you are instantly killed by the smooth side of a block that happens to have spikes on the other side. A game where the stairs are your worst enemies. The STAIRS! A game in which your character, Simon Belmont, gets hit by a piece of cloth and flies forward upon impact to his death.
A terrible game that makes me want to throw my controller at the wall and laugh manically as it shatters into a million pieces! A game that does not even reward you completing it! No, "Thanks for Playing!" or even something as little as "Dracula is defeated. Thanks Simon!"
This is a terrible game and it should be avoided at all costs!
But, then again. . . As needlessly difficult as this fourth Castlevania may be, I felt a strange feeling as I defeated foes including dragons, skeleton warriors, Borris Karloff and finally Count Dracula himself. It was a feeling of strong satisfaction. Having worked my way through this game, I now feel like a minor god. I feel as though I should be served only feasts fit for gods such as myself and served not but the finest of wine!
It is a great feeling of importance that has granted me the power and patience to work my way though Dracula's castle. And it is this feeling that makes me enjoy this horrible game as if it wasn't horrible. Maybe . . . it isn't horrible? Perhaps, despite all the cheap deaths and such, this game, deep down, is actually . . . good?
Yes, of course! A bad game couldn't possibly bestow upon me such strong feelings of satisfaction, self importance, and godliness! This game is good! Great, perhaps? I. . . I actually want to beat it again! A third time, even!
This is a game that shall forever be set in my memory as the game that, once you blow off the dusty layer of suck, is actually one of my most enjoyed gaming experiences of the year.
I raise my glass to you Super Castlevania IV! You, my friend, are a great game!
