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Writing To Clear My Mind
Currently it's almost twelve in the morning...I suppose I'm writing to rinse my mind of it's desperation to write.
I'm writing to clear my mind of it's trapped thoughts.
You may say I sound queer when I say this, but I just want to cry...I want to scream and yell...and cry. I want to be loud...in such a quiet town.
I'm begging for this love...and well...I can't find any comfort.
Insomnia is my killer.
I want a smoothie....and a cigarette....and a hug...
I don't want sympathy.
I want love.
On a cool summer night...I want to lay on my floor.
And let the weight of my world crash over me.
I wanna see my life
Flash before my eyes
And I want to fall into this ocean of love
Hardly breathing
Time is on my side
And I'm sinkin' in
I want to feel these tides
Fall over me
Harder than an army
Cause I can never wash
This away
And the weight of my world
Will crash in
Oh I'm fallin' in
This ocean of love
Hardly breathing
Vitta Nai Kida
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LIFE - My Analogy
LIFE - MY ANALOGY
Life.
Life: the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms, being manifested by growth through metabolism, reproduction, and the power of adaptation to environment through changes originating internally.
Life.
It has no true definition though the dictionary may say other wise. Though the dictionary has several different definitions because in all honesty people aren't sure which is true. None of them are, life is what we think it is, not what a book tells us. We all try to figure out it's meaning. We live each day in a similar way as the last.
We repeat.
Sex. Birth. Baby. School. Love. Sex. Birth. Baby. Death.
We repeat ourselves. Everyone in their own way is different, but we are all so the same it's sickening. We think we're so different and we go to extremes to be different, and lose ourselves in this search for individuality that we forget that someone some where has done what we've done. Yes I am writing on life, and yes I know someone else has before me, and yes I do know someone else will after me too. We repeat ourselves.
We believe what we want and what we see, we question what we do not. We find answers for things we want to know, and make up answers for things we do not. We are all liars and beg to tell the truth. We wonder about the things we dream of, but what if our dreams were reality? Would we wonder about what our reality we are in now? We like to discover, but in the end it's the same idea said with a different voice. In the end...we repeat ourselves.
Sex; The addiction. Sex. What gives us life.
Birth; Our first breath into life. Birth. We live our life.
Baby; We grow and age and learn our firsts. Baby. We learn our life.
School; We learn the lies. School. We hate our life.
Love; We meet that someone. Love. We love our life.
Sex; The addiction. Sex. What gives us life.
Birth; Our first breath into life. Birth. We live our life.
Baby; We grow and age and learn our firsts. Baby. We learn our life
Death; We Die. Death. We leave our life with lies.
We Repeat Ourselves.
We all want money. We all want jobs. We all want love. We all want acceptance. We all want happiness. We all want equality. We all want peace. We all want the same things, though we deny it. We are all the same. We are all different. We are all human. We all in some form share the same thoughts. We all have the same feelings. It's how we portray these things that help create who we are. At some point, in someone's life we will be repeated. At some point in some time there will be some one who is very much like you. Who seems like you. Who acts like you. Who is without truly being you. You. When you die whether you are known in this world or not you become history, and history repeats its self. We repeat ourselves.
Everyone will lose something. A friend. A family member. A lover. A companion. A job. A life. Everyone will lose something like this again. Everyone will react the same each time. Though, everyone will soon forget that everyone will gain something through the loss. A friend. A new family member. A lover. A companion. A job. A life. We repeat ourselves.
We are not everyone. We is not you. You are yourself. You are human like everyone else. You make mistakes. You repeat. You are the same. You try to stand out. You beg for attention. You are human. You will repeat yourself.
It’s life.
Life is repetition.
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Christmas Analysis
Christmas Analysis
The children are tucked in their beds, hiding their little heads under the covers as they wait for Saint Nick to arrive at their house on his sleigh. Santa will slide down the chimney and leave gifts under the big over priced Christmas tree. Milk and cookies are left as an offering to the jolly man so that he will reconsider leaving them coal. Though what they don’t know are the lies that were embedded in their heads about holiday cheer. This so called happiness that was created through the gifts and commercials formed the idea that Christmas is only about giving. Yet, hidden are the negative aspects behind the joyful songs and brightly colored wrapping paper that covers the gift of greed.
Christmas has always been seen as a joyful and cheery holiday, though nobody has bothered to see its depressing points. The magical feeling people get when Christmas comes to town isn’t for what Christmas means, it’s what it brings, gifts. From early October to December, Christmas is advertised as a wonderful time of the year. A time when people get along and give, not expecting to receive anything in return, but in reality it’s just cosmetic perfections to attract buyers in stores. The classic Christmas stories told aren’t really as happy as they appear. They’re dark and hold a deeper meaning that’s not just about giving and receiving. For example, Rudolph being out casted because he’s not Christmas perfection or the Grinch, who had a bad experience with Christmas, became a romantic hero because he wanted revenge on the arrogant Whos. Romantic heroes are used in many holiday specials on T.V. Families around the country gather around their T.Vs to enjoy watching these ruthless, isolated, and misanthropic characters treat the ones around them terribly. In the end the romantic hero has a revelation and their feelings and attitude towards everyone and Christmas in a whole changes, making them ever so popular around Christmas. Santa, who is every stores favorite icon for cash isn’t jolly for joy, but instead for the fact that he’s corrupting the minds of children everywhere. No longer is Christmas a happy meaningful holiday, but instead an easy way to get excellent business.
Stores are advertising the Christmas season earlier and earlier each year to attract more buys and gain more sales. About a week after Halloween people turn on their T.V’s and snowy wonderlands appear on their screens. No longer do many think of Christmas as a time for family, instead it’s the time of year when people go buy gifts. Expecting gifts in return they put extra thought into what they get in order to create a mental insurance policy in their mind saying they’ll get something equally as nice. It’s a very shallow way of thinking, but everyone does it. Stores create Christmas sales by raising the price then dropping it back down to its normal price they day of the sale to trick people into thinking they are getting a bargain. When Christmas shopping you must be careful with the sales, cause they’re trying everything they can to get you to buy their products and items. You can’t turn on the T.V without seeing Christmas specials and commercials on everywhere all advertising the same thing Christmas gifts and ideas. Making sure that people will chose their store to shop at.
Children expect Santa to be this great man who gives them gifts, but really he’s not bringing happiness to everyone around them what about the parents? Now, they have to deal with their children becoming spoiled brats. Around the world children hurry and to get to bed so that Santa may bring them gifts. Why do these children get gifts though? What have they done in order to receive anything? Sure, some of them probably did earn their gifts, but in the end they won’t be pleased. They’ll continue to want for nothing and beg their parents for more. Face it, we’re all human, none of us are good all year round. So, if Santa only gives the good children gifts why do the bad kids get gifts as well? Children are getting gifts, not because they earn them or because they’re good. They get gifts to be happy, a small glimpse of the good that is still in Christmas. Sadly, they’re never satisfied, some of them may only play with the gifts they got maybe once or twice then never touch them again. Santa teaches children that it’s okay to want, but what he should be teaching is you don’t always get what you want.
When most people gather around the family television to watch their favorite Christmas specials they normally don’t see or even thing of the darkness in these stories. Such as the ever famous story of the beloved red nosed reindeer Rudolph and how he saved Christmas. Rudolph was out casted due to his imperfection that was his nose. The other reindeer were ruthless and teased him because of his nose. Even Santa, who was supposed to be sympathetic and compassionate wouldn’t even allow the poor deer to join the sleigh team. Then out desperation they ask him to guide the sleigh using his imperfection to their advantage. Throughout the story Rudolph was used and pushed around, yet people watch it because it has a catchy song and everyone appears so happy. Rudolph as seen as a hero, but if it wasn’t for the foggy night he would have never been socially accepted (Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer).
Romantic characters are known to isolate themselves from the rest of the characters and be very ruthless and misanthropic in the stories. A perfect example of this is “The Grinch”. The despicable Grinch made his home all the way at the top of the mountain near Who Ville isolating himself from all the Whos. He is also very misanthropic, at one point in the movie he gets a phone book and picks out random names in it to yell out that he hates them (The Grinch). The Grinch also becomes very ruthless when he decides he’s going to steal Christmas. He takes his only friend Max the dog and uses him as a deer by putting an antler that weighs him down and forces him to pulls a massive sleigh. When it came time to steal everything from the Whos’ houses he forced himself down the chimney and went through the trouble to take every single thing from their house, just to upset them (The Grinch).
When people see Santa they think gifts, so stores love it when it’s Christmas because they get a man in a Santa costume and tons of children will come in with their parents. Meaning those parents will do some Christmas shopping while their child tells Santa what he or she wants this year. The more they can attract children the more they will sell. To them Santa is the holiday symbol for a dollar sign. Santa affects the public during the holiday. Without a good icon to help boost sales, the perfect man for that is Santa. His joy appearance is friendly and attracts customers and as long as they have fair prices their store will make great business.
In the end Christmas is seen as a happy holiday, but we must all keep in mind that there’s a negative to all things positive. Behind every happy holiday story is a dark meaning that is waiting to be pointed out and every store is only using Christmas as a gimmick for some cash. Santa isn’t as jolly as he’s made to be instead he’s a man made for the corruption of the mind. All romantic characters in some way are misanthropic, ruthless, and isolate themselves. If we are to take a look at Christmas from a different perspective we would see, it’s all cosmetic and underneath the shiny lights and pretty wrapping paper is an ugly image of greed and little acceptance.[My opinions on Christmas, written for school. Again, I received a 145/130 on it...but I'm still unsure of it. It's a college paper. Opinions. Comments. Rate.]
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Role Play Sample: Fifteen
♫ V I T T A ♫
And I see the beauty that she is. She tries to hide it behind a mask of silence. Her imperfections are my perfect calling.  I've swam in an ocean of you.
I sink so deep are you gonna save me or not?
It feels so real...could we have a moment? Vitta ran down the street glancing at his phone, "Ten thirty...exactly..." he sighed. Looking around the dull streets, people pushed past him. He was bumped into over and over, not reacting his mind caught up on the days events. Work was only as miserable as it was the day before. It wasn't like he asked to deliver food to people. College was terribly boring, he failed both of his exams and had to retake one of them. Taking a deep breath he prepared himself for the best way to end his day, walking home late at night. Only to be welcomed by the silence of his small one bedroom apartment that he could hardly afford. His black hair reflect the moonlight while his dazzling eyes matched wondered around.
He never talked much, having friends he wasn't in touch with other than school usually. He had to much on his plate, and slowly he was depressing himself over it. Relying heavily on his art, literature and music to get him through the loneliness he felt at night. The occasional dripping of a faucet would visit him from time to time. Though, it was annoying and kept him up most of the night, because he didn't want to leave his bed to fix it...sometimes he found it nice to have a noise in the complex that was with him the entire night.
Stuck within the vault of his wondrous mind, Vitta walked right into a girl. Quickly, he snapped out of his dream world, "Oh! I-I'm sorry, miss! A-Are you alright?", he apologized. His naturally pale face flushing a light pink at the sight of the stunning girl. He felt a bit awkward being that he was 5"10 he had to look down at her. Being awkwardly tall and skinny, with pale skin and black hair and green eyes. He was odd, nothing about him looked normal or welcoming. He waited to see if she was okay, before speaking once more.
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Role Play Sample: Fourteen
 Z A N E ~ L U C A S ~ W I L L I A M S
~ ~ ~ How did you run into a door that's wide open? Get a hold of yourself. I tripped and fell so deep I can't come down. ~ ~ ~ Zane looked down at the word...adoption. He hated the sound of it. He didn't knoow much about his family. Where they good? Bad? Did they make the same mistake as he did? Or did they just not have the money? He took at the empty street, "To be honest, Lannie. Adoption doesn't help the kid...actually...it hurts. Never knowing...wondering...your entire life...why...why you weren't good enough. Even the simple things, like...who do you look like, your mother, your father, aunt, maybe your uncle? Do you have your mothers eyes and your fathers smile? Or wonder what you'd be like if you were raised by your real parents...instead of strangers that feel blessed to call you their son...only to make them regret it because you're a little b*****d child!," he wiped fresh tears, "Yeah, I was seven when I was put up for adoption, but to be honest all I really remember is the screaming and shouting. Nothing else really. I was seven, and I still wonder these things. Imagine it...never knowing. And if it ended up anything like me...home to home, non-stop. Lannie...if...if I did stick with you through it...and we didn't "pop" it...or give it up..." he stopped and took a deep breath. His eyes seemingly dead he looked around, "I can't have your brother hating me..." he managed to say at last. Looking at the sky he wanted to illuminate this warm dark night, "If I could start from the beginning..." he breathed.
Laying on his back he looked up at the sky, taking Lannie's hand in his. "Lannie, you're one of my closest friends, and my best friends sister...I really love Madison...I think...at this point...I don't know anything." he forced a laugh. His iPod came on and the song played in the background, which fit the atmosphere perfectly. Dear Carolina by This Love sang to him. He hummed the song as he sighed, "I know...I know Madison...hasn't been faithful with me...like I haven't with her...she and Jordan...hooked up...several times, while I was away...I know this." he contently listened to the lyrics.
His voice trailed off into the song, he was getting lost in the lyrics, it was calming. "I can tell...the way the two will look at each other...I can just tell." he sighed. That thought killed him, the player was played and then torn down down by the closest to him. "I know you never meant to say that everything will be okay.
When i lay in your arms at night, then you lie to my lips every time that we kiss. You should have just said no...you should have just said go...you should have said nothing at all..." he repeated the lyrics. He glanced at her, "This sounds like the anthem of our group..." he announced holding back his temporary rage and fit of hysteric screams and cries. Fighting the salted tears for streaming down his watering eyes.
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Role Play Sample: Thirteen
 ♂Darren • Michael •Thomas♀
§ § § § § As the keys went out of tune, I heard a voice I never knew. The song it sang was never you. Never you. § § § § § Darren held his side, looking up at Jordan he forced a smile. "No...nothing in specific that I'm telling you...just don't forget what I'm telling you." though his breathing was becoming some what delayed he smiled. Sitting up the pain jolted through his body, "Just...don't be alarmed if at some point...I ask you to take me to the ER...I don't think anythings wrong...with me...but in case something is...I'm giving you a heads up." he stated still clinging to his staggering breaths. He looked around the room, everyone was enjoying himself, then he looked at Jordan, the expression on his friends face was clear that he was scared...worried maybe? Darren mentally slapped himself in the face, "I'm ruining his good time...awesome...some friend I am..." he thought as a slight frown danced onto his soft face. Trying to stand up he only shot back down gripping his side, "Sorry...I'm bein' a really downer...sorry man..." he apologized trying to mask his pain. He had the feeling Zane or Lannie was going to break the news to everyone soon enough, and he wanted Jordan to see past what Zane did. After all, their only human.
In the off distance he could see several couples enjoying each others company. The sick feeling and sharp pain was numbed by his mind for a moment. He closed his eyes. "Alone...is...lonely...nothing very free...I am...alone." he sighed and the pain came back like a jolt of lightening striking his weak body. Opening his hands he felt like he was caught in the ocean and his hands were reaching out for the shore that pulled him away. Like a sinking ship he felt the waves crash and pull him under. He was drowning in the air. He had no one to hold while he was going through this fight for his life, no one to save. His blue eyes glimmered, they were moist from the tears he felt approaching.
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Role Play Sample: Twelve
♂Darren • Michael •Thomas♀
§ § § § § As the keys went out of tune, I heard a voice I never knew. The song it sang was never you. Never you. § § § § § Darren frownded, "College...split up...our group splitting up? I highly doubt that...I can't see us being split." he admitted honestly. "No matte what, Jordan. You must always forgive your best friends...and your family. No matter how huge their fu.ck up maybe. Forgiveness, it's key to everything. I honestly...forgave Zane days after the fight..." he looked hoping Jordan would remember his advice when he found out the news of Lannie and Zane's mistake. Darren was the one everyone went to for advice. He was smart and full of wisdom beyond his own age. Everyone knew that, and when he said something or suggested something most took that and kept it. Because he ended up right in the long run. He was use to be right. "No matter how mad...you always forgive. Being a kid again, Jordan. That includes forgiving instantly. That's one part of the child me that will never grow up. The power to forgive it stronger and much more easily found in the mind of an eight year old...rather an eighteen year old, Jordan." he said closing his eyes to catch the rhythm, "Being a child again also means being honest." he added. Opening his blue eyes they locked on Jordan, wondering if he truly would take, agree, and listen to what he said. He could feel his body going numb again, discretely he moved his hand looking at it, it felt strange. Quickly huffing for a simple breath his eyes watered, shaking it off he forced a tired smile. Something was off entirely with Darren and his normal bodily functions. "H-hey, Jordan...If I tell you to take me to the ER at some point tonight...please do it...with the quickness...okay?" he managed to get that out. The air felt like it was becoming thick and water-like.
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Role Play Sample: Ten
♂Darren • Michael •Thomas♀
§ § § § § Looked down my window to the world below. Move so fast, but it feels so cold, and I am all alone, Don't let me die, I'm losing my mind. Baby, just give me a sign.
§ § § § § Darren galnced at Lannie and smiled, "No thanks...I'm good right here." he smiled and splashed the water at her playfuly. Then his luck only got worse in the near distance he could see a large wave in his direction, "Damn it..." he muttered. Chills ran up his spine as the refreshingly cold salt water smashed him in it's waves. He came up spitting out the overly salty water and grainy sand. Rubbing his eyes his unamused expression had kept everyone else entertained. Standing up finally gaining his balance before another wave smashed over him, and the process repeated. Finally, managing to relief himself from the ruthless waves. He huffed and looked at Lannie, "Looks like I have no choice now...hu?" No one had said much to him since he had arrived except Lannie, that's usually how it went when Zane and himself were in the same area. Darren, usually quiet, had a lot to say and could hold up his own in both an argue or a fight. Though, Zane had those same qualities. He smiled at her laughing again, the realization that he was just owned by several waves was dawning on him. His smile widened and his light blue eyes practically matched the clear water.
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Role Play Sample: Nine
 You can close your eyes to the things you do not wish to see, K Y O U K O :~:~:~:~:~:~: The God Of Ice
Kyouko watched as Adena glared, the heat that brushed his pale froze face made him cringe in displeasure, he could feel the spike in temperature. Slowly his clouded mind cleared and the memorization of the Goddess' hatred for one another became more than just apparent. Kyouko wasn't in the mood for cat fights, though he might have possibly took even slight interest if they were in bikini's and the fight was in mud. It wasn't that at all though, he looked at the girls and bowed before continuing his walk as he cold the air that followed. Moving his hands he opened a small portal which lead to mortal land. Glancing he wasn't sure if the two girls notice that he was leaving. It was time for him to play games with the hearts of the mortal ladies.
Landing on the ground his appearence did not change, he smiled as he saw a young woman in a garden of roses. Echo would be just as amused with this. He walked to her, "Hello." he breathed another cool breeze whisked past her. He looked at the floors and made a face, "Something tells me...that white interests you...the white rose?" it was more of a statement rather than question. His red eyes narrowed in on her before changing to a silver. "Interesting...white seems to be amongst my favorite, eternal love I do believe that is what it stands for...to bad...I don't believe in love. I just adore the pureness of the color." he chuckled now walking into the garden and plucking a rose, and managing to not be poked by the thorns. "The thorns are their walls...built to protect them from reality....to bad they are easily broken." he huffed now breaking the thorns off. His silver eyes scanned her, he could hear the racing of her heart and smiled, handing her the white flower he continued, "Though, white are only only my third favorite rose...my second is an ice rose...and my first is a crystal." he grinned. Holding out his hand he moved it in various ways. Soon a rose was around his right index finger it was as cold of snow. "The ice rose...it never melts...it never dies...it's almost perfect...it's only flaw...is that it breaks...and it shatters then the pieces...vanish." he breathed as the ice rose poofed and a new rose began to grown. "But the crystal rose...oh it is perfect...never breaks...never melts...never dies...always...perfect." a beautiful ice cold crystal rose was now in his hands. He handed it to her, "Here...have it." his soft smile made any mortal's heart melt. He couldn't wait to see the reaction of the gods when the discovered how deeply he interfered with mortal life. But you cannot close your heart to the things you do not wish to feel...
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Role Play Sample: Eight
You can close your eyes to the things you do not wish to see, K Y O U K O :~:~:~:~:~:~: The God Of Ice
Kyouko woke up from his light slumber. His naturally messy snow white hair shined brilliantly as the warm sun beat against his pale skin. He appreciated the warmth for a moment, but quickly closed his blinds. It wasn't that he hated the warmth, but it was too much for him at times. He staggered to his closet in a lazy fashion.
Kyouko wasn't like most gods, he had to sleep, eat, and other functions that weren't really "normal" to the gods. He knew this, he could bleed and be wounded, and was cursed to heal using the "natural" process. This was his punishment for angering the elders, ever so many years ago.
Once to his closet of his icy room he slipped on a much more "normal" outfit that wasn't acceptable by the gods. He pulled his dark blue denim skinny jeans that were torn on, and pulled a blue baggy sweatshirt over him. He found a pair of black converse and checked to make sure his wings weren't even slightly visible. His "rebel" like ways tended to make most females stare at him, he really didn't acknowledge that.
Turning he scanned his room, it was basically a replica of an arctic wonderland. He walked out of the room and made an "up" motion with his finger and a hard as steel ice wall covered the door way. He could see the shadows all around and smiled, Echo was awake. She always had a way of entertaining him, her "games" were fun to him. He huffed, with no other intentions for the day, he aimlessly wondered the clouds until he made it to the building. Bursting through the door as a spine tingling chill followed he looked around, "Morning, Miss Echo." he said swiftly before walking to his chair. His chair was all white with very light blue cushioning, with clear ice crystals for the legs and arms of the long chair. He threw himself on it and laid lazily, his now red eyes looking around the room, clearly he was bored. Focusing on the small mortals that would plead to him to keep the frost away so it would not destroy their crops or beg to keep a snow storm away so that they would not be stuck somewhere they'd rather not be. Depending on his mood he'd grant them their wish. Though he wasn't know for subtly. He dueled it out with many of the gods, finding himself victorious he often reminded himself of gods before him. Powerful, attractive, graceful. What more could he want, though his dashing red eyes would occasionally flicker back at Echo, as he'd smiled and grin slightly at her before continuing the process of tormenting the innocent.But you cannot close your heart to the things you do not wish to feel...
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Role Play Sample: Seven
  ~N A I~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
~ T H E ~ W O L F~ Nai looked at the water his still, he didn't move he didn't even look back when Eli called his name, he couldn't. He hated himself, he hated the beast. He knew everyone would hate him, but his hatred for himself would be the strongest. "Tristan...brah...I'm sorry..." he thought his emotions weakening. Tears escaped his wolf eyes, he was making himself sick. He swayed around the wolf weakening, his fur changed from his blond to jet black. He watched his fur as it changed and whimpered, he changed with his emotions. Looking at Eli his icy blue eyes locked on her, pain clear. He saw the blood and whimpered more. He was covered in Tristan's blood...was it possible he had attacked Eli during his rampage to. His stomach churned and he howled, and howled, and howled more. Pain filling each howl. He was lost, he was confused, he was hated...the thought of never seeing Tristan again, because of him caused panic. "No...No...No..." forcing himself to stand up he slowly walked over to Eli his head down, he whimpered and nudged her. He was sorry, for everything. He looked at her and tilted his head, why did she come to him? Why...after what he did...she risked everything to come to him. He whimpered more and more, he was crying. To ashamed to go into his human form he kept his head down and whimpered. The breeze blew his now jet black fur dramatically as he howled again. "Eli..." he said softly to her. Though he couldn't speak his words were sent to her telepathically. He did this with Tristan on many occasions. He nudged her again before falling on his stomach, tears streaming out from his eyes.
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Role Play Sample: Six
~K I D A ~ R I O ~ :~:~:~:~:~:~:  It was another typical day for Kida Rio, he was wearing a gray hoodie that was tightly fitting to show off his skinny frame with a white v-neck t-shirt under neither and black skinny jeans with his red low top converse. He also has on enough bracelets to cover his entire wrist and a necklace that had a revolver and peace sign on it. Listening to his fiancee running of ideas for their wedding. He smiled and nodded to them, not wanting to get into detail. Distracted by the small rainbow that was cast in through the Italian glass windows in the condo they lived it. She designed most of it, oak hard wood flooring with deep red walls. Black leather couches, and small little extra bits of decor to make it seem...crafty. He supposed it was nice, his distraction seemed to vanish as the clouds strolled by.
His blond hair fell over his seductive gray-blue eyes. His neko ears twitched. It was July already and the warm breeze from the opened window blew past his face, the smell of trees and city air mixed as he inhaled. Taking a sip of the Vitamin Water he had in front of him he continued to nod to Aria. He never really payed attention to her amazing body, she had a nice personality and they could talk about basically anything. Which cause a lot of his guy friends to torment him and say things such as, "Stop being a p***y and just nail her already!" he just never really found the urge to do that, which at times really pissed off Aria. He was never really a normal guy, he realized that, but he was normal enough to be getting married to a woman who was clearly out of his league. He was finding himself falling more and more into his day dream, pulling on the strings of his gray hoodie and tapping his foot as he hummed a tune, it was now clear he wasn't listening.
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Role Play Sample: Five
 AK turned around, "I'M NOT GOING TO ******** CALM DOWN! I'M DONE BEING CALM! I DON'T HAVE LONG TO SEEK OUT WHO DID THIS BULL s**t! I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE TO PROVE MYSELF TO! I HAVE A ******** COUNTRY TO PROTECT ALL THOSE FAMILIES AS WELL! I'M DONE CALMING DOWN!" he shouted. The blood fell faster and as he swung his sword around. "I have three days...how can I do anything in three god forsaken days....." his tears fell faster. "I'm so...so sorry Night...for everything that is happening..." he felt like s**t. His life was being mixed. He swung the sword again causing to to cut his leg, he watched the artsy blood trickle and fall. He knew Night would have preferred him dead over that strange man, just from how she was reacting.
He wished more and more it had been him. He let himself bleed as he cried. He was pissed, he was heart broken, he was lost. The barbed wire was twisting around his throat. He walked into the forest. He was going to kill. His wolf ears that were jet black and one dripping with his blood twitched. He walked forward to the town he growled.
Pulling out his sword he shouted loudly, "COME ON BASTARDS FIGHT ME! WHO THINKS THEY CAN HANDLE ME! HU! THE BEAST IS BACK! I'M NOT SPARING! THIS SHALL BE A FIGHT TO THE DEATH! REMEMBER ME! MY NAME WILL GO IN HISTORY! ONLY IF YOU LIVE TO HEAR IT! ONLY IF YOU CAN SEE MY FACE YOU WILL KNOW WHO I AM!" AK shouted, his face was no longer human, but a wolf's face.
Three men ran towards him. He led them into the woods and slaughtered them. Merciless. He was pissed, he cried as he uncontrollably sliced them like bread."Night....Akio....Night....Akio...." he repeated their names as he slashed the three bodies. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" covered in blood his tears fell. "It feels so real from the outside looking in...." he said aloud.
He remembered part of the speech Noctus read to him as he trained, he repeated it as he continued to stab the men, "How all occasions do inform against me, And spur my dull revenge! What is a man, If his chief good and market of his time Be but to sleep and feed? a beast, no more. Sure, he that made us with such large discourse, Looking before and after, gave us not That capability and god-like reason To fust in us unused. Now, whether it be Bestial oblivion, or some craven scruple Of thinking too precisely on the event, A thought which, quarter'd, hath but one part wisdom And ever three parts coward, I do not know Why yet I live to say 'This thing's to do;' Sith I have cause and will and strength and means To do't. Examples gross as earth exhort me: Witness this army of such mass and charge Led by a delicate and tender prince, Whose spirit with divine ambition puff'd Makes mouths at the invisible event, Exposing what is mortal and unsure To all that fortune, death and danger dare, Even for an egg-shell. Rightly to be great Is not to stir without great argument, But greatly to find quarrel in a straw When honour's at the stake. How stand I then, That have a father kill'd, a mother stain'd, Excitements of my reason and my blood, And let all sleep? while, to my shame, I see The imminent death of twenty thousand men, That, for a fantasy and trick of fame, Go to their graves like beds, fight for a plot Whereon the numbers cannot try the cause, Which is not tomb enough and continent To hide the slain? O, from this time forth, My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth! -Hamlet!" he shouted. Finally he dropped to his knees and cried.
What was he doing, this was why he left Italy it brought the evil out in him. He screamed and howled his face was only wolf to lure them in, the cried more and more his blond hair. His hand, his body, covered in blood to the very last drop. He hugged his knees and finally whispered, "Night..."
He mumbled more have Hamlet to himself as he sobbed uncontrollably, "To be, or not to be : that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there's the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law's delay, The insolence of office and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscover'd country from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action.--Soft you now! The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember'd..." he was at a whisper now his voice rattled from tears. He cried and cried the blood seeping into his close he whispered again, "I'm sorry, Night..." as he took his sword he cut his other leg and watched the blood flow naturally out the self inflicted wound.
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Role Play Sample: Four
 Yuki's body floated in the black abyss, he was lost; not a thing was around him. He screamed begging to be released, his body unable to break free unable to move. Locked in his own trap. Blue light streams swirled and twisted around him. He attempted to swat at them, his arm didn't move. No use. He felt a warm sensation rush over him, crashing against his cold weakening body. His suffering was resulting in his own self destruction. The blue streams wrapped around him and lead him to a white light. "Am I dead?" he thought. Finally he reached the light, and there he stood in her presence. She had long brown naturally wavy hair, and wolves around her. She wore a nature like dress that looked like ivy and large leaves and flowers.
"Yuki? Your mind hath been clouded. Have thou forgot thy Goddess? Has young brave and hansom Yuki grow? Has he allowed his guide to perish? So, it seems. Your heart is strong, but I hear it grow weak. Each beat more silent! The test shall come forth now, for who will save thy dying soul! So sweet in pure you are, though you've been tainted! If she shall rise and save thy weakening bod you will proceed to live. Doth! If she mus' leave you dead at her feet, then so it is. Love is the greatest test, and a woman's heart so tender! If you have grasped it with comfort, then you will not need worry. To remind you of my generous deed I have washed away Jinx's love. He may have many other love interests, other than thy lovely Kira. Though you, who I've blessed with a gift of beauty...and the option of having any female....must in exchange for this opportunity, have been cursed. Only one you may ever love! Tis' Kira! Hath she not return in greatness these feeling, you shall die! As I speak you lay, upon her, your life in her hands. So, if you die your body will flourish with your ancestors! Though, I will be forced to cut off connections with thy love of Kira. And Jinx shall win her love as with many others." her sweet voice echoed, and soon she vanished.
Yuki's eyes closed quickly and he fell the warm splashing around him, he was trapped. In the darkness. His mind echoed her name "Kira" and his heart skipped beats as he shook. The warmth, reminding him...he had a chance.
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Role Play Sample: Three
"My Name is Noctus Bakaito, I'm fourteen and I have no family, and I have been studying the arts of knights and warriors. I'm in year nine of school and get all A's, and I have no family. I've started training in the weapon fields of swords, guns, bombs, and several types of karate." he stated to one of the Knights of the Moyen Palace.
It was odd to see such a young boy, who was so smart and formal...polite might they add. Ask for a job being a knight...a killer. They notified him several days later, after doing various background checks on him, and said he had the job. He started his training the next day, and was also given a class E uniform and a room to stay in. Provided with food and an education, Noctus considered this place to be a haven.
On his fifteenth birthday, Noctus was declared a class C solider was given a brand new uniform, he was moving up ranks faster than most Knights in the palace, that day he was also introduced to the Rukia family, and there stood a strange little girl. She looked no older than him, having long green hair with big aqua green wondering eyes, he could have sworn she had some type of mental issue...ADD? Maybe.
Noctus smirked as he saw her twirl around as the elder head Knight introduced him. He saw the happiness in the girl...he saw a true child in her. That was something he had given up...for survival...his childhood. He lost that when he chose his new lifestyle.
Several months later he ranked to class B...then by the end of the year he was class A and signed to be Nova's Knight. He was the youngest class A knight in the palace and soon took over the elders job when he passed away.
He learned a lot about Nova though, she was so...strange. She also gave back a piece of his childhood, that he didn't get to experiance. They were always together, he was her only friend and she was his only friend. Simple as that. Though, he saw her kindness and how she'd reach out to others, while he'd stand around and be called the scary guy. Something, he thought never changed and still they never did...
He shook his head and sighed, the waves were crashing and his still found himself alone, he glanced at Nova who appeared to be telling Yuki, Aidou, and Jinx a grand story from her past, and explaining the kingdom to them. None of them really seemed to care, though. He turned away and looked at the two empty spots next to him. He new Nova would have no trouble in finding love...unlike himself...he'd struggle...and possibly be loveless....for his entire life time.
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Role Play Sample: Two
~N A I~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ Nai was holding his head, he looked at Tristan, basically his brother. His blue eyes were just as lost as the expression on his face. He could have sworn he heard his name being called, he stayed silent. "What's...what's going on..." he thought. He could still feel the slight emotional pain. For a moment he had sworn he saw Lannie's brother look at him, Nai's eyes grew wide. "I'm going insane..." he thought. A cool sensation passed by him, he panted. Shaking in frustration and confusion, he sat on the ground. Waiting..for something he was unsure of.
Images passed through his mind as he snapped his eyes shut, it was like re-watching his past. They were in every image. Long nights spent trying to comfort the angry puppy all the way to throwing a stick in the water for him to run after. T.K, Lannie, and Eli...they were always there. Looking past his bizarre habits and aggressive ways, and seeing whatever was descent in him. Opening his blue watery eyes the grass his hands touched looked frosted for a brief second, only to melt before his eyes. He shook his head and closed his eyes again. Running his fingers through his hair he cursed. He was lost, the images continued to roll past. Something he had re-remembered. Letting out a confused and frustrated wolf-like yelp that echoed through the trees. His anger was getting the best of him and his beast was being...unmanageably wreck-less.
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Role Play Sample: One
~N A I~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ Nai had been lost in the cartoon, watching a cat and a mouse fight, his tail was wagging faster now. Her glared at Lannie's brother, Hitoriki, and let out a small growl and lowered his ears. Nai, being the youngest, was always a target, and his wolf appearances didn't help much either, and it was Hitoriki who always seemed to be one of the many to tease him.
When Nai heard Tristan's voice he barked, sometimes he just couldn't stop himself. Looking up he laughed, "Yeah...my stomach and I have noticed." he laughed. T.K was practically Nai's guardian and owner. Fed him when he needed fed and was basically there for him. Though, Nai had always put a bad influence on him. They met in an unusual way, well not really. Nai was in kindergartner and already stirring up trouble. He had walked over to the dorkiest kid he could find, who was also the smartest. Threatening him to do his homework T.K listened, but as time went on. The threats died down, and a friendship bloomed. Nai, then started to show T.K the ropes of fighting around the third grade. Nai, he had to know how to to defend himself...after all he wasn't going to tolerate the torment he endured cause of an unfortunate genetic malfunction that gave him the genes of a human and wolf.
Nai's eyes were hazed but he was alert enough to speak, "I think we should go to the club...smoking is permitted right, and the provide drinks I assume?...Hell, that sounds like my kinda place. Now all I need a large fighting cage and a few brave competitors. Tristan and I will kick there p*ssy @sses!" he shouted becoming more excited by the moment. He pulled his goggles over his eyes and huffed, T.K was always busy...working or being smart. So was Lannie. Everyone basically had a job except him. "Slacker." he thought with an amused short laugh. "There's never been a time that I can remember when you're inventions failed for long...sure maybe a few hundred times later, but they work at some point." he thought his words went unheard, and shrugged it off. This was something everyone knew. Nai just didn't care. Never did...and there was a very slim chance that he ever would. Sitting up from the floor he looked at Lannie, Eli, and T.K and smiled, this was his family. How much luckier could anyone get. "Sooo whatcha written?" he asked abruptly with a curious look that was visible, even through his goggles.
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Me ~ Read
So yeah, I go by a lot.
Vitta, AK, Kida, and Nai are my most popular names I go by.
I am bi, guess I should let you know.
Though, I AM NOT weak.
Get to know me, and I'm as loyal as a wolf.
OH wolves are clearly my favorite animal, ya' dig?
I've been role playing for quite some time, so I have a ton of experience, though there are some things I still haven't tried out...yet.
I started role playing when my first love died in a car accident as a way to escape the pain.
I never stopped.
I grew addicted to it.
I DO NOT text talk. It annoys me to the ******** to be honest.
Um...I'm a musician and an artist, but writings one of my stronger points.
I guess I could show you some posts so you get an idea of my role playing style.
I'm nineteen. :3
I'm a dude, ya' dig?
I like men.
I like women.
:3
Imma fricken vegetarian, babe.
I'm an original Cali boy surfer and allllll....
Though I moved to Pennsylvania for personal reasons.
Don't be surprised, cause I may dress in a "scene/emo" way but I don't label and I listen to just about anything.
Don't call my a f** or anything rude unless you're a good friend of mine and you jokin' around.
I swear.
Don't like it.
Don't bother.
:3
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