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I am a WRECK...
I am a ******** wreck right now... Ever since last night, I've been more of a wreck than I usually am. I was talking to my "friend," who might not be my friend anymore, last night... I was telling her abput how majorly depressed I am and how I didn't want to eat and how inanimate objects yell obscene things at me, and then she ******** calls me crazy and anorexic. I don't know where the ******** she gets off on calling me crazy and anorexic, but it pissed me off, so I had a major mood swing and started ******** yelling at her. Well, she thinks that I "hate her" and that I don't really have mood swings, and I really DO have mood swings, she could ask ANY of the people that know me, and they could tell her that I have some horrifying mood swings that border on bi-polar. Well, I got all upset and s**t, needless to say, and... I did some stupid s**t last night, some s**t I haven't done in quite a while until recently when people upset me... I've been more depressed than usual, so... it seems more appealing than it should. I, ah... (please don't kill me Koda) I resorted to pain, like I used to a couple years back, and I still enjoy it... It still makes me feel better, but I feel so ******** guilty now... I know I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't stop myself... And now I want to just go sleep until I die... I mean, would anyone wake me up? Does anyone even care enough to try to save me from myself? My thoughts are going around in my head so ******** fast right now, I don't even know what I'm thinking, and it's insane... Ugh, as if anyone cares about my problems. Whatever... Just felt like typing it all out... So I did.
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