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I hate confessions because they might just backfire on you. One day you think you know something by the soul of your heart but you end up in a dead end. I think I have trouble coming close to people but I don't really think so. I think my real problem is, is that I don't want people to come close to me...but I let them anyways.
Carl if you're reading this I'm sorry that I made assumptions. I think I wanted them to be true because you're just so unreal to me. To me, people shouldn't have emotions....so when I actually recieve them...it's freaks the s**t out of me. And I'm telling you now, I'm scared as hell. Maybe because things went wrong in my childhood? Maybe because my first "encounter" went all right but then was pulled away from me? I mean look Sebastian and I were great but we didn't attach ourselves to each other so much and that's probably why I was so comfortable. But the longer we lasted the closer I felt...and well I snapped. I threw myself over the cliff.
And I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm doing now...and I don't want to at least that's what I'm trying to tell myself not to do
 OutKasted Angel · Sat Jul 28, 2007 @ 07:53pm · 0 Comments |
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Ok, so my boyfriend and I weren't that close when we first started to go out. He was more of a bodyguard. Then he let me in, ashum. Yet now he's putting a barrier back up and he won't telling me anything. He goes into his "ah humm" mode. Where he only goes ah hummm or ok. I think he might be cheating on me. He hates working at his mom's work. But his brother says he's messes with these two girls. And now he's eager to go. What is up? Yeah...and my mom offered that after I'm done with my job in about a week I'll come and work with him. I don't like that idea cuz i'll meet the girls and...well they sound way hotter.
Is it wrong that I'm trying to avoid him? Is it wrong that I wont' break up with him because he grew up with a bad childhood and it's hard for him to trust. maybe he's just having issues and can't bring himself to tell me. Maybe i'm just parinoid??He's more of an affectionate person that talker...
OutKasted Angel · Fri Jul 27, 2007 @ 09:35pm · 1 Comments |
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Disowner
Don't say I'm a complainer because I'm confessing, so yes I am complaining but I don't do it often
=====
I admit it I'm a bad person and well I don't regret it. I know I have it good, I know I'm spoiled so I'm not going to say my life sucks and it's worst than anyone who reads this because it's probably not. Not even close. I disown my brother as a kin. He assaulted my mother and left us to live with my real father.
My real father is a jackass and my mom's a b***h. I hate both of them. My step father is cool and my step mom thinks she's all that. She's old and fat! Aroudn 40 something. Sorry...but I think only that about her.
I'm parinoid about my boyfriend, I think he's cheating on me and I may have proof so now I'm ignoring him and I WANT to avoid him. I've been talking to one of my ex's and I act like I still like him but I don't. I only care for him still and that's it. I have a low self asteem and I want to make it better but my mother shapped me to be a b***h and it's hard to change.
I use to cut myself[bad choice I know but it seemed right at the time] I've tried to commit suicide more than once. I've tried to run away. I use to look upon bein a whore as reliefe. It's not and I've changed a whole lot in the past year.
I hope that if you're reading this, that life's not that bad. Just try to make the best of it. It's not cool to follow the crowd but not cool either to make something so different that you hate yourself so bad that you just want to die.
Posted by Sarah Sanchez on Jul 27, 2007
OutKasted Angel · Fri Jul 27, 2007 @ 09:28pm · 0 Comments |
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Ok ok so Carl isn't the greatest kisser ever but at least he tried lol. I thought it was cute, he bumped his braces into my top lip the first time and blamed it on them for not kissing so good. ERRR WRONG! lol but it's ok I still love him
♥ heart ♥ TE AMO JITO ♥ heart ♥
OutKasted Angel · Thu May 10, 2007 @ 04:18pm · 2 Comments |
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I love you for who you are
what you were and might be
I don't care that your hair's not straight
Not short but unique in its own way
I don't care what others think
Because you're mine and not theirs
I don't care that other's tease
When you protect me to make people flee
That you laugh when no one cares to listen
That you take the time just to hug me
Say a friendly hello
You'll take the risk of you in harm
Just so I won't shed a tear, cry a loud, feel alone or be scared
You're good enough, actually you excel more and more
You're my angel, you'll help me soar
You're everthing I need, want, dreamt of
You're not just this guy, just this boy or some person
You're more than that now, more than this
I'm suprised but I feel you're mi amor
OutKasted Angel · Thu Mar 29, 2007 @ 08:22pm · 1 Comments |
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WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOO WE WON TODAY!!!! |
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OMG OMG OMG MY TEAM WENT TO AUSBACH FOR MATH COUNTS THAT WE'VE BEEN TRAINING FOR EVER!!!! GO US HECK YES WE GOT 1ST PLACE !!!
domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun xp domokun domokun xp domokun
OutKasted Angel · Mon Feb 12, 2007 @ 08:04pm · 1 Comments |
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Stupid ESSAY......I hate winning this now |
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Stupid essay just because my essay freaking won 1st place at our local, then 1st at district, then won first all over Europe and now is being sent to DC doesn't mean anything really
gah it's just a stupid essay so what?!!!!!
So what that I got a $200 savings bond at local, a $100 check at district and a$1,000 at european!!! GAH!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
it's not my fault that mr.purdin decided to put it in the contest!!! It was for a freaking grade and now look what's happen!! Just leave me alone about it i hate
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE x google (i dislike the word"hate" but in this case i'll consider it) WINNING THAT ******** ESSAY ******** THING FOR ******** VFW AND ******** PPL KEEP ANNOYING ME ABOUT THIS ******** s**t LEAVE ME THE ******** ALONE !!! I DIDN'T ******** ASK FOR PEOPLE TO PUT MY s**t IN THIS AND FOR PPL TO ******** SPREAD IT AROUND!! BIG ******** DEAL THAT I WON WHO GIVES A s**t????????!!!!!!!!
OutKasted Angel · Mon Feb 12, 2007 @ 08:00pm · 0 Comments |
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ARE U EF'IN HAPPY NOW?!?!?!?!? |
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HEX YES!
I was going to break up wif mah cutie Thai but he got to it first
uhhh now i feel so relieved so i can do w/e i want and not feel bad about it
BLAH! He got hit with my wallet today, I was the one who threw it too! lol
OutKasted Angel · Thu Jan 18, 2007 @ 05:45pm · 0 Comments |
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WARNING: THIS IS MY JOURNAL BECAUSE I DO NOT TRUST MY MOM SO I DON'T KEEP ONE FOR REAL. THIS IS MY OWN THOUGHTS SO SORRY IF I BE LOOKING LIKE A NEWB BUT I HAVE TO LET THIS ALL OUT
******** hoe trick! lil ******** a** 6th grader trying to be actin like Marcus her man when he's MY ASIAN! uh UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
she be written stuff like he be hers:
all yall lil tricks out der dat b messin wit my man marcus needz to kno to dis:
1.touch him,
2.try to get wit him
3.try to freak him................welllllllllll.................ummmmmmmmmmm
answer: ***~***IMM GON ******** YALL UPP**~**
***b***h***
She need ta just leave him alone cuz he don even want her he wants ....ME
He think she jus some skanky a** 6th grader who think she fly and cain get no one. Dat why no one be lyken er' cuz she try to hard ******** hoey a** ******** and I said i din want drama this year but this lil biotch had to force it into my life. I should jack her up infront er fatass granma(i usually don't use those words because i don't believe in it unless i really dont' like someone and that's really rare if idont') she also be gettin her skankyness from dat hoe she think she all da s**t and she think she fly but NEWFLASH SHE AIN AND I GONNA ******** HER UP IF SHE KEEP MESSIN WIF ME AND MAH ASIAN!
OutKasted Angel · Sat Jan 13, 2007 @ 10:15am · 1 Comments |
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