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So. My mom doesn't have cancer. It's just some stomach ulcers that stomach acid is getting into that are making her feel so shitty.
A relief, right? But I can't celebrate. She drove herself to having those ulcers because of me. Did you know, that if my parents didn't have to pay for my schooling and if I went to a public school, my mom could stay at home, and my dad might have more strength? My mom's only working to pay for me.
And I'm an ungrateful b***h.
 Arlequino · Wed Feb 07, 2007 @ 06:28am · 0 Comments |
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"What is the meaning of life?" people often ask. Or, "What's the point of living?"
Or then again, there's that ever present "Life has no meaning to it."
Lately, I've been getting really annoyed with these questions. And in my attempt to understand my annoyance, I've analyzed my view on the meaning of life, and come to a conclusion: life is what you make it. Yes, it has absolutely no meaning or point. Yes, we're all going to die anyway. But if you think about it that way, what's the point of the animals being there, or the trees and the plants? None. Absolutely none, except to live and be. And the same goes for our lives. No point, except to be.
We are the ones that give meaning to our lives and ourselves, through our love of life and nature and internet and french fries. And we make our lives have a point, through our hopes and dreams and innovations
Arlequino · Sat Jan 20, 2007 @ 12:06am · 0 Comments |
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Tulips on the Kitchen Counter |
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I know nobody reads this journal, but if somebody does come across it, would they please comment? cheese_whine Now that the little whiny part is over, here's the actual entry.
The description under my journal title says that this is where thoughts and snippets of writing go. There's already been some thoughts, so here's a snippet of writing. By the way, there were actually tulips on our kitchen counter, and they were beginning to wilt.
Tulips on the Kitchen Counter
The tulips are beginning to wilt. The stalks show signs of bending under the weight they are holding. The flowers have lost their bright red tone and have become a darker, more velvety, shining hue.
I find that I like them better this way. The new tone gives them a deeper, more complicated beauty; like that of an elegant, solemn woman. When they all stood straight as soldiers in the vase, showing their youth in the bright color, I felt that they were nothing more than flash and decoration, like young girls parading their pretty, new dresses. Now, they have taken on a life of their own and grown up into beautiful women, and I am drawn to study and observe them. Would that I could keep them like this. But I know that this acquisition of beauty only means for them that they will further lose their freshness and appeal, gaining nothing for it. They will lose their petals and turn into sagging old women with not even knowledge to show for their age. By next week, they will have been thrown away, replaced by fresh, new flowers showing off their pretty, new dresses. Flash and decoration.
Arlequino · Fri Jan 12, 2007 @ 04:25am · 0 Comments |
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Personally, I find it very annoying that all the dictionaries that I have checked, from the huge Webster's edition we have standing on our shelf to the online dictianaries Dictionary.com cites to the English-Russian dictionary also standing on our shelf, use Destiny and Fate to describe each other. Very annoying. Because it seems, that even though by the dictionaries they mean the same thing and come from roots that mean the same thing, people have come to interpret them as to diffrent things.
Arlequino · Tue Dec 26, 2006 @ 08:49pm · 0 Comments |
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Well, I now have a Photobucket account, and having figured out how to work the scanner, Clarinet Blues is now up there. And having figured out how to get the picture from there to here, here it is!
Arlequino · Mon Dec 18, 2006 @ 05:35am · 1 Comments |
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Ahh....What did I want to say?
Oh yeah!
....Wait, I forgot....
Oh, yes! Allright. I really do remember this time.
So, remember that color and water-soaked piece of scrapbooking paper I told you about last time? Well, that's finished. It's lying (sp?) on my desk at home, waiting to be dated and pressed. It came out a bit...wavy. I'm not very pleased with the way it turned out, but it's a start. I might post it on gaia, if i ever get the chance to scan it into the computer. Let's hope I do.
Arlequino · Thu Dec 14, 2006 @ 11:21pm · 0 Comments |
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Like watchin' paint drying.... |
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For a while now, I've had the vague idea for a painting called "Clarinet Blues" stuck in my head. And then today, I was looking through posts in the art arena, and I was thinking, "You know, maybe I should post something." The only problem being, I have nothing to post. And then I kinda fought with my dad over homework, and my mood got kinda violent, and finally I gave in and finished my homework (not completely, but don't tell my dad), and then the violence in my mood came out in this sudden urge to paint. So I got out the closest thing I have to watercolor paper--scrapbooking paper (don't laugh!)-- adn the closest thing I have to watercolors--fabric paints and poster paints, which I should probably go close--and I got some water in a plastic cup, and I found some brushes and started painting. And now I'm waiting for that water-soaked sheet to dry so I can start detail work.
In case you haven't noticed, all that sudden energy hasn't left. Note the long and jumbled run-on sentences...
Arlequino · Sun Dec 10, 2006 @ 05:53am · 0 Comments |
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English class... I used to love English so much. Now I'm just bored. So bored.
confused I mean, I still like reading and all, but just the way she teaches...SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arlequino · Fri Dec 08, 2006 @ 09:04pm · 0 Comments |
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