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Today wasn't a bad day. I made up with a friend whom i love very much. I finally told her how I felt about her. Feelings I myself didn't want to face because of my marital status. Then for the rest of the day I did absolutely nothing. It's been quiet here. I am staying at a friends house for the weekend just so I can get a little peace and quiet. It's been nice.

Having told her, I am left to evaluate myself. I have no illusions on what she may or may not feel for me but I am left to wonder if I am being fair to me and my husband. I did give the man 10 years of my life but I am left wondering if perhaps i have been selfish, maybe overly bitchy.

Then again being smacked around, cheating on me, lying to me, leaving us in financial debt is not exactly good husbandly behavior. I can honestly say I am confused...

I haven't been this confused since i kissed Kathleen in the Tack Room at STEP when i was 16. That was a good sort of confusion though. LOL mrgreen