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kay. so. midterms were okay. so far ive gotten mostly b's. &one c, which wasnt even my fault.
ive been SO busy with schoolwork lately. and my parents have been pissing me off. but its not totally their
fault. ill get into that later. so anyways. ive been talking to chris more, riight? &i started cutting again.
idko what it is about that kid that gets me all messed up.. but its something. i mean, he's like drugs.
i want to spend all my time with him. thinking about him makes me happy. but the fact that he doesnt want
to date me? catastrophic. it makes me feel like im not good enough. for anyone. that im fat and ugly and
all that other self conscious sh*t. my emotions go haywire, too. everything is intense. happy, im
smiling and laughing and skipping. sad, im curled in the fetal position crying. frustrated, im yelling and
slamming doors and cutting. normally im not like this. im chill. but when he comes around its like everything
matters.. i just dont get it. i mean, i could imagine spending the rest of my life with him. and have done said imagining.
but i know that he's NOT healthy to be around. seriously dangerous for me. i mean, in the past week ive considered
killing myself, & had to stop myself. that hasn't happened in months, until i started talking to him. & I was
screaming bloody murder at my parents because of god knows what. im getting called. write more later.
kthxbai. heart kp

kso, battle of the bands was last friday.
IT WAS SO BOMBBB.
oh emm gee. i loved it. okay, yeah, the first couple bands sucked a**(sorry if you liked them and/or you're in the band.. but its true. they did suck). ANYWAYS.
so once the good bands got up, everyone got energized, and the place was pumpinggg. the music was enough to blow out my eardrumss, and the people there were my kinddd.. not all the preppy-poser-punk-wannabes(except for a few.. who deserved a good beating. oh well). so me, dani, jeff, shaylin, and some random liz person, were pretty much in a group all night. chelsea was there tooo.. not that i was ecstatic about that.. but whateverrr.. so anywayss. im all excited, and having an amazing time.. i got a scenexcore tshirtt(x it has a dino on it haha. i lurve it. slik willy(who is now officially arcadia landing.. i like slik willy better but whatev.. they started playing and I got thrown in the mosh pitt.. homg. it was so much fun. then the last band played, and chels kinda went wild.. and there was this really cute guy i'd had my eye on for most of the night.. and she took him off and walked around the school with him awhile(i know. me and dani followed them to make sure she didnt do anything stupid.) and then when they came back.. she just kinda left haha. i stayed til the end, and got his sn. y'all know steve noww(:
steve is cool. he's normal though. which is new for me. but oh well. ill get used to it..

kso once that was over, last night I went to the movies with a bunch of people.
katie, lyss, dave, julian, and me all went to see the new double oh seven movie, riiiight?? well.. I dont like james bond movies. but I figured since steve was supposed to be there.. and he'd already seen it.. well let's just say I figured I wouldn't be watching most of the movie. but steve didn't show cause he had to cook thanksgiving dinner. so I pretty much acted like an idiot with julian all night... according to EVERYONE we were flirtingg.. but I wasn't trying to. I was just trying to be nice and be his friend. and the movie bored me. that too. it was all sex and guns. and.. well.. sex, and guns. and FIRE! that too. but not enough to keep my attention. (there was poker too. but not until me and julian came back from rolling around outisde in the hallway for no reason and getting 203948203498 drinks from the bubbler) oh. aha and we got yelled at for talking in the theatre. some old guy was like "the movies started stfu, little bitchesss!" except translated into old guy. so it was more like "the movie's already started, can you please quiet down now?" yeahh.. and julian played pacman in his head.. and.. he decided to lie down on the floor in front of where we were sitting.. for no apparent reason. AND THEN OMFG. lyss thought we were like, making out or something when we left.. I THOUGHT KATIE WOULD SAY THAT. NOT LYSS. but she did. and then she was motioning that she made out with dave& i was all "heh. niiice." then we left. OH YEAH AND ME AND KATIE SUCK AT DDR. just saying we do. but you love us anywayss<3

kso im hyped up on turkeyy(:
can ya tell?? i can. anyways.
OFF TO THE MOVIES TO SEE HAPPY FEET!
later loverss<3
kaylerr*

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