ALRIGHT so it took a while but i finally got it back! here's wat im lookin for:
1. is the original better?
2. is something confuzing?
3. spelling errors
so please just let me no and enjoy 4laugh (this is the first 3 pages btw cuz thats all i got so far)
The rain tapped lightly against the windows of Harrold’s car as he drove along the slick road to school. It was a Monday morning in April and the weekend was greatly missed. Harrold had a feeling that the upcoming week would be a stressful one and longed for another day of relaxation. He tried to forget about the headache that was pounding his skull relentlessly, just adding to his perfect day. He looked up to the rear view mirror to make sure his hair wasn’t too tousled. It pretty much was. Harrold was too tired to try and fix it.
When he made it to school, the rain had lightened up a bit. Harrold grabbed his books from the passenger seat and prepared himself for the boring day of school that lie ahead. All around him he saw kids heading into the tall high school building, shielding their books from the rain. A loud burst of laughter came from his right. He turned saw a boy whose books were strewn across the sidewalk. He hurried to pick them up out of the mud before everyone stepped on them, trying to hide his burning red face. Harrold sighed and raised the hood on his jacket, exiting his warm car.
Harrold never had problems with his social life. He made friends easily and had an outgoing personality. Harrold was very well liked and accepted in with the others. Harrold was popular. Harrold could care less. In the eyes of his peers Harrold was quite good looking. His dirty blonde hair usually looked as though he had just been out in the wind; although, the bed-head style seemed to work for him. His eyes were light brown and they melted every girl that looked into them. Harrold, however, tried not to notice. He had tried the whole dating thing a couple of times before but the relationships just never worked out, or lasted very long for that matter. It just wasn’t his thing, and he was just fine with that.
Harrold stopped and absent-mindedly helped the red faced boy with his books, deaf to the stutters of thanks from the boy. Once all the papers were out of the mud and safely in the boy’s arms, Harrold started over to the group of laughing guys which were, unfortunately, his friends.
“Why do you guys have to do things like that? It makes you look retarded,” Harrold muttered as his friends followed him up the sidewalk to the front doors.
“He’s the one that looked retarded! Didn’t you see his face?” His friends laughed and punched each other on the shoulders. Harrold just rolled his eyes and pushed his way through the front door and into the hall, his posse bringing up the rear. They fought their way through the halls and quickly arrived at Harrold’s locker. Just as he was he turned the dial to the last number in his combination someone jumped out from around the corner.
“Happy birthday!!!” He yelled, scaring everyone but Harrold to death. No, Harrold just proceeded to open his locker and dump his books inside. “Dude, how did that not scare you?” The boy asked over the loud laughter of everyone else.
“Derrick, I heard you giggling from the moment I reached my locker,” Harrold said smiling.
“Alright, so the surprise was ruined but the message remains! Happy birthday!” Derrick said, throwing his arms into the air.
“I appreciate the attempt,” Harrold replied, shutting his locker. The rest of the group had already dispersed and Harrold figured it was time to get to first period. “Derrick, come on we gotta go to history.” Harrold turned and saw that Derrick’s blue eyes were shining with excitement. Harrold knew that look. That was the I-just-saw-an-extremely-hot-girl look.
“Yeah, I’ll just catch up with you later,” Derrick mumbled as he started down the hall after the girl.
Harrold found himself sitting next to an empty desk as the bell rang signaling the start of first period. As the room filled with chatter Harrold watched Mr. Clamator, the round, balding history teacher, wheel a cart holding a television to the front of the room. After turning on the television and turning off the lights Mr. Clamator said sternly, “Watch it and take notes.” He then proceeded to his desk and sat down heavily, turning to his computer. Harrold took out his notebook and watched the pictures of famous history figures flash across the screen. He quickly scribbled down names and dates and laws, wondering where Derrick was. His thoughts were then interrupted by the sudden sound of the classroom door being opened.
A glare formed across the TV screen as light from the hallway spilled in. Derrick emerged from the doorway. “Sorry I’m late.” Derrick said happily as he crossed the room to sit next to Harrold.
“Derrick,” Mr. Clamator’s booming voice overcame the television.
“I know, I know, hood down.” Derrick sat down and brushed the hood of his jacket off of his head, revealing his dark, spiky hair. Once he was settled, Derrick turned to face Harrold, whispering excitedly, “You are not going to believe this!”
“Let me guess,” Harrold said as he wrote down the outcome of the Monroe Doctrine. “The girl you chased after turned out to be a guy but he accepted your love anyway.”
“You know I don’t swing that way, now this is serious!” Derrick whispered sharply. “So I was right in the middle of puttin’ on the charm when she flat out says, ‘Sorry, but I don’t care’.”
“Dude it’s called rejection just live with it,” Harrold laughed.
“No, that’s not the thing! After that she asked about you.”
“And this is a bad thing…?”
“You don’t understand, she was asking all these really weird questions about you.”
“What?” Harrold turned from the TV to look at him. Derrick’s face was completely serious.
“Yeah, like—”
“Mr. Rotuida.” Derrick sank into his seat as Mr. Clamator’s booming voice echoed through the room.
“Yes, Mr. Clamator?” Derrick smiled curtly.
“I would advise that you pay attention to this particular movie seeing as it may help you actually pass a test for once this year.”
“How dare you reveal my grades to the class?” Derrick slammed his fists down and leaned forward onto his desk. “I may have to report you to the union!”
“In that case,” Mr. Clamator replied, “I may have to report you to detention. Now pay attention, Derrick.”
Harrold and Derrick both returned their gaze to the television screen and continued to watch the movie.
The rest of his classes went just as Harrold had expected: long, hard, and boring. He was relieved when the lunch period finally came. His stomach had started bothering him all morning and he suspected it had something to do with his skipped breakfast. Harrold arrived at the cafeteria and continued to the end of the lunch line where Derrick stood waiting.
“Derrick!” Harrold called out as he pushed his way across the room to his best friend’s company.
“Hey there, birthday boy!”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Whatever you say birthday boy.” Harrold shot an annoyed look at Derrick who grinned in response, but Derrick’s grin soon turned to a look of concern. “Harrold, are you feeling ok?”
“Huh?” Harrold glanced up from counting his lunch money and saw that Derrick had a questioning look on his face.
“You look kinda pale,” Derrick said slowly.
“Duh I look pale, it’s been raining so much my face hasn’t seen any sun in weeks,” Harrold replied. Derrick gave him a concerned look, but dropped the subject anyway. Once they both received their lunch, they made their way through the crowd to their usual table by the windows. They found that their friends were already seated.
As Harrold and Derrick took their seats, Derrick wasted no time making sure everyone knew about something crazy he had done over the weekend. Harrold picked at his sandwich and let his mind wander, tuning out everyone’s voices.
All of a sudden, Harrold was ripped out of his thoughts. Something, or rather someone, had caught his eye. Harrold looked up to see a girl walking by with her lunch tray. He had never thought of walking as a talent until that very moment, a talent she most definitely possessed. She had long, brown, wavy hair that flowed swiftly behind her as she turned to look at him. Her eyes were a sparkly, blazing green. She gave him a sly smile as she passed, revealing bright, gleaming teeth. It seemed as though everything was moving in slow motion.
“Harrold, Harrold,” Derrick hissed, nudging him in the side.
Harrold snapped back into reality. “What?” He said, turning to Derrick.
“That’s the girl I was telling you about,” Derrick said, following her with his eyes. “She’s the one that wanted to know so much about you. She said her name is Carina”
“That’s…odd,” Harrold muttered, trying to relocate her in the crowd of students. She was in and out of his life within two seconds, but an image of her seemed to have planted itself into Harrold’s mind. He wondered why he had never seen her before. Either that, or he hadn’t noticed her, but Harrold didn’t think that it was at all possible for someone of that much beauty to go unnoticed. It felt strange to him that he wondered so much about who she was, but one thought comforted him: she wondered about him too.
As Harrold thought about Carina, she was busy with thoughts of her own. She sat down at an empty table in the corner of the lunch room, her back to the rest of the cafeteria. She pulled out a blue cell phone and hastily punched in someone’s number. It only rang once before a voice answered.
“Carina?”
“Who’s the best?” Carina asked excitedly.
“What?”
“Guess who found Harrold! I did!” She said bouncing up and down energetically.
“Great job,” The voice said sarcastically. “Now you just have to tell him everything and hope he believes you. Plus, you still have to convince him to help us. You’re far from being finished.”
“I know that. Jeez, you’re such a pessimist.” And with that, she slapped the phone shut with a flick of her wrist. She looked over her shoulder at Harrold’s table and smiled to herself.
you may have noticed that there's still original story in there so it wont be completely different. i'll put more once i have it!
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