I know!
I challenge myself to use 'uber' 10 times throughout my idiotic and somewhat nonsensical ramblings!
Ahem.
.the 'uber' challenge. start;
Ducks. I have noticed lately that the way they look at a person is rather disturbing. They glare! Have you ever been glared at by one of these uber(1) evil beings? I have, and I was very shaken by this experience. I suffered from trembling, stuttering, excessive perspiration and strange hallucinations.
You know those little birds or ducks that float around the heads of cartoon characters who have been bashed over the head with something large and normally uber(2) painful (a peanut filled balloon animal for instance)? Well, if you look closely, they have fangs! Please refer to the rather crude drawing:
I have now provided you with proof of how uber(3) evil ducks truly are, but there is more to reveal about their hidden nature which I will be uber(4) careful not to mention for fear for my own safety (they keep hidden microphones and cameras, I know, I've looked).
Next, of course, are ceiling leprechauns. They are uber(5) mischeivious little blighters who drop things on your head (like muffins) and disappear, snickering, into the ceiling, making you think you've gone loco. They're not so much harmful as uber(6) annoying, doing little more damage than leaving a large bump on your skull.
Because ceiling leprechauns aren't much of a concern, I will move on to speak about nudge gnomes, and then gnomes in general.
Nudge gnomes, as you may have guessed from they're names, give you a little nudge when you least expect it. They have often sent me jumping a few bazillion feet in the air (the moon looks uber(7) nice from up there by the way). These little ones are not only grotesquely ugly but they tend to insight fights among humans by nudging you when you're not looking and making you think it was the person next to you. This is also where the phrase 'punk' came from. Way back when people knew about nudge gnomes and were nudged for no apparent reason, they would call the gnomes 'punk' (punk being derived from puny, which is associated with being small in stature). Now, the tradition has stayed, though the reason has been forgotten and so, when randomly nudged by an unseen force, people turn to those next to them and call them a punk, meaning to pick a fight.
Gnomes are among the most evil of all earth's creatures. They sit there staring blankly at you, wanting you to think them stupid and incapable as they plot your downfall. These beings are skilled masterminds. They prey mainly on innocent bunnies, but will sometimes attack pink iPod Nano's as they seem to believe them to be some kind of bubble gum. The majority of these uber(8 ) despicable creatures have beards, beneath which they hide weapons of mass destruction unknown to human kind.
Some of the weapons I have discovered include white chocolate macademia nut cookies, cotton candy(highly explosive), honey roasted peanuts(though cashews are equally dangerous), gummy worms (which like to impersonate real worms and scare the bejeebers out of people - you need to bejeebers to stay sane, you know), and, of course, the gasses emmited when you squeeze squeaky toys (if they make a sound like, 'pheeeeeequooo', then you're okay, there is no danger). You have been officially warned about gnomes, and I advise you to take heed of my warnings and steer uber(9) clear of gnomes in the future.
It's a real weight off my chest now that I've warned about a few of the dangers our world contains. These dangers are real and should be handled with utmost care, believe me, you don't want to be caught alone in a hallway with a band of ceiling leprechauns hovering above you.
UBER count=9.
I suppose this means I failed... cry
I'm uber sorry, I really am-
OHMIGOSH! It's an 'uber! AN 'UBER'!!
I didn't fail!! Yaaay!!
Official UBER count=10.
.the 'uber' challenge. end;
