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Good evening, journal. *hugs*
I must admit, there's not much to tell today - nothing too interesting and nothing too plain. Let's just say that my day's been quite moderate, except for one/two things which happened. The first, of course, would be my Graphics exam results and I got the highest mark in the whole class, so that definitely raised my spirits after the small rant I wrote yesterday. And the second event would be my reaction now to Ayu and Rion-san's disappearance.
Needless to say, I can understand the human mind and emotions pretty well. Ask my close online friends and they would definitely agree that I have this thing with knowing things. I can always tell when someone's hiding something from me - especially problems and especially online. I ask you now - never ask me on how I know these things, because I just do. And always, when people come to me with their problems (which, surprisingly, happens very often), I can always give them the right answers to put their feelings right.
I suppose that for the first time, I had to give myself the advice I needed. I apologise, dear journal, that I can't stop talking about them, but I've been worrying myself over their disappearance alone for long enough - time to put thoughts onto an empty page and get on with life itself. Like death, it doesn't help if you don't accept but want to forget - same thing with this one. I had said to myself a few weeks ago that I might as well stop hoping that they'll come back and get on. Well, I'm doing that right now, but with a slight modification - I suppose to stop 'hoping' that they'll come back would be quite stupid. Hope is always there. Chance is always there.
I re-read a few posts from the roleplay today and my, how I laugh out loud when I read back. It really is unbelievable that back in January, I was such a terrible roleplayer. It really is. Heavens knows why people enjoyed roleplaying with me back then - I was truly terrible. But I improved a lot, I can see that. I improved a great deal since I entered the roleplay by Ayu and I could see myself getting better as time goes by.
I also found out, while reading back, that I was wrong to think that they might never come back. Ayu loves this roleplay, and so do I - I don't think I'll ever forget the place, because of its brilliance. Ups and down in that roleplay, along with problems, secrets, new friends, new experiences - it's amazing that so much can be squeezed in into such a great place. I shall not forget it, and I'm sure I won't destroy my hopes of them returning. As long as they remain offline, I promise to you now, journal, that I shall stay and that I will keep their memory by playing their characters when needed, where needed. I owe them that much.
Rino-chan.
Rino-chan · Wed May 23, 2007 @ 08:52pm · 0 Comments |
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