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heh, im still here ^_^...okay thats not so bright and cheery. im so ******** confused right now...so there was a dating. then a break. that wasnt really a break. and he had girls. and i said cool and laughed while i wanted to cry. adjusted. got cool with it. got a guy. he got upset. lost the guy. retook the guy. ditched again. so now its really off? friends with benefits. and im good cuz i know hes still cares. but hes got her. and im supposed to get a guy but im not so sure how this will work. it feels wrong to lie. but he figures i will so i might as well anyway? i dont ******** know... i just dont understand what im going through. i understand him. but not me. -shrug- ill just do a lot of crying like always. i should prolly hide all my pointy sharp stuff. and my pills. : / i dunno though. -shrug- meh i dont know what the hell is going on anymore. oddly enough, biggest concern=what to tell my mother lol is he my friend? is he more? meh she doesnt know much about me and i dont intend to tell much. still, its all a matter of convenience. and i still cant drive D: so i kinda rely on this...): idunno im confused and heartbroken and so scared...-sigh- i wish i knew what to do...