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Here's I've been bitching and whining to myself that I don't have an online journal anymore, and HELLO GAIA has an easy-to-use interface that is just like the LJ I had to abandon. yeesh. I have no idea why this computer does not allow for updating LJ or reading hotmail. Maybe it's all done to remove the temptation from me, because this way I can't update, I can stick to my resolve about staying away from LJ. I can't go back to those people. She knew almost everyone on my flist. Who am I so upset about losing besides writer0, and a few others? I could add them to 0x and not have that connection. It sucks to lose connection to people I've known for so long. Megami, Mike, Brend and Zoi are all on Lily's flist too and I do not wish to see it. I can't stand to see anyone happy right now. A second issue is I just don't want to have online friends. My stupid belief that online friends are just as good as IRL is a stupid thing. I had way more fun going to see a film with Sandra than I've ever had talking to people. Online feels too much like an obligation. I need to hang out with people more. Calling Linda sucks cause she just whines, and going to her apt. means I get bored and hungry cause I have to be there for so long, but somehow I have to figure out how we can still spend some physical time together. Stupid K-chan doesn't care about me as a person at all. I just pay the price to have someone to distract me for a short time. I do feel good having someone to talk to on occasion, even if it is just about game crap.

aaaa boring. Need a job SO BAD. I need to get those material things I want, like hey a NEW COMPUTER so I can read manga and watch anime and update this new journal thing. I don't want to do a paper diary, it seems to unsecure. and it takes way too long to write s**t out by hand, it interupts the flow. Can you imagine how much a paper book full of WHINE would suck? Somehow it seems less bad if it's online.

I want to decimate my room. Clean sweep it! but the first step there would be to take pictures of everything I am tossing and put it in a scrapbook. That way I will not lose the memories attached to these objects, I am only losing the clutter.

I am watching so many movies lately. It's all I've got to do with my time. Going out is well and fine, but I hate doing that alone and without purpose. and it costs money to go to Toronto. bleh. I so wish I had my own cute little laptop, it so much would feel like having my own space, my own place to put my heart. Then maybe I would stop nagging mom every single day about the clutter in the house. That's why it is bothering me so much lately, I have to look at it all the time instead of looking at my computer. I miss playing RO, too! Transcendent classes, baby! biggrin

unf. I really need to....STOP BEING FAT! XD MTVCanada, or muchmoremusic, whichever they prefer to be called, was showing Celebrity Diets and it's like...you lost all that in 6 weeks? That's a month and a half of eating small portions, veggies, and cutting out butter and cheese and bread and pasta. I mean ********, diets are not hard to understand, it's the execution that is hard. Too bad I suck at execution! I'd really like to get that gameboy covers idea going. I'd have to learn how to sew and buy some fabric, but I would not only like to do this for my own game systems but for others cause hey, why is the GBA and PSP and DS not the same fashionable technological toy that the iPod is?

I want speakers for my mp3 player, I want the whole "my iPod is my self" thing. and so what if I can't afford a dollfie, I have my own culture item, I have my own little group of s**t that I am a fan of and spend money on. I AM A GIRL GAMER, GODDAMN IT! (where's my button!)

sooooooooooooo nothing on TV anymore. it's just frikken background noise. I watched Kiki's Delivery service and I was disapointed it didn't capture me like it first did, or was as good as Howl's Moving Caslte. I think Miyazaki gets better with age. I hate sitting in front of the TV wondering what else I could be doing, or what I can do with my hands while I watch Tv, cause like it's BORING!

augh augh augh SO HIRE ME ALREADY! I just wanna work. I wanna build drums all day.