I could learn to hate my father. Or rather, I could learn to hate summer and changing house rules.
My boyfriend has to be the most wonderful guy in the world, if you haven't caught on from my previous postings. But seriously, I do not know why he puts up with me.
Allow me to elaborate. As I do so very often.
My boyfriend's birthday is coming up and I have been dying to do something fabulous for him to celebrate with him. I love him so much and want him to have a wonderful birthday. My problem? My parents. I have been trying to plan a number of things to do, but live under very strict house rules. Because I still live at home over the summers and breaks and my parents are helping me out with college expenses, I am obligated to obide by their rules. Which I would be fine with if they didn't keep changing and didn't seem to be completely arbitrary to me and my situation. My curfew is set according to the day and what I'll be doing and what I need to do the next day, which is cool, because that means I can get it moved back when I want. Though recently it is just a pain. I'm taking my boyfriend out for his birthday and am picking him up in the afternoon. My curfew is set for early evening, despite the fact that I want to take him out to dinner and will have a long drive ahead of us. And my father has the gall to come in and tell me that I should try and get back even earlier, since I have been late in my curfew a number of times. Great. As if it isn't bad enough that I don't get to see my boyfriend but once a week and have limited amounts of time with him when I do get to see him. Maybe I sound spoiled or bitchy, but I do think this is unfair. My mom keeps pointing out I earn priveleges...but haven't 19 years of being good and obeying all the rules earned me trust and rights? Apparently not.
One other thing I've been thinking about is that my bf and his mom have invited me (in a sense) over to their house to celebrate with him during his family birthday. I don't know whether this is a sincere invite or not, though I guess I shouldn't worry. I just worry. Because I do that a lot. I don't want to intrude on their family celebrations...and I don't know what kind of present I could bring to him. Since I think it would be rude to appear with nothing and yet I'm not sure what I can do...
My mom also doesn't seem too thrilled about me going, since I have work the next day. So I don't want to try and reschedule their plans since I know my mom is going to be really stringent on what I'm doing that night, but I don't want to refuse him either. Life is tough.
I also hate that they're trying to control when I move back into my place up at college. I want to be in my place early so I don't lose control with my roomies, since if I'm not there early, I won't have any choices in how things are done. But they refuse to take me up on my convenience and instead will take me when they want. Which I think is unfair. I'm all for talking about it and trying to work out when we all can go up, but not taking my concerns into account is awful. And I was looking forward to a week without interruption with my bf where we could spend some time together.
Life can be difficult.
But on a happier note, I've never been happier in my entire life than when I'm with my bf. He is an absolutely wonderful person and is so good to me. I never feel like I am nearly as good to him as he is to me. I'm far too self-centered and vocal about my problems. I wish I could show him how much I love him, but I can never find a way. And I know I complain a lot to him, which is something I do to anyone who will listen and he is so good about just listening to everything and sympathizing and taking my side. He's too good to me. I love him so much. I only hope he realizes this and only hope I can show him how much he means to me.
But I think that's enough for this entry. As always, comments are greatly appreciated. I love random comments or thoughts or helpful tips. And please read through my back posts and leave comments. You'll probably understand more of this post anyway if you do that.
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Daine's Journal
A collection of stories, thoughts, wanderings, and a bunch of fictional writing.
A place to develop my characters or just think out loud...
You'll never know what may be true or not.
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