I used to think it was good to be different.
It was fun; having people watch you in the streets and look at you as though you were some unearthly thing.
But now I wonder whether it isn’t actually a little lonely.
No one thinks the same way as you
There’s no one to share your views, or to swap ideas with.
The only time you can truly be happy is when you’re being someone else, or when you’re on you own.
That’s how it is for me anyway.
Is it like this for everyone though?
Does everyone feel this way no matter what they’re like?
Perhaps I would feel better if I had a romantic other half?
Would it make any difference?
I’ll never know I suppose.
To be the same as everyone else would be boring.
To be different from them is lonely.
So what do I do?
I go along with it.
Smile when I’m “happy”
Smile when I’m sad
Ignore when people tell me I’ve changed and continue to be the same old me;
Shoulder for those to cry on
Woman for them to trust
Mother of the group
All that jazz.
But to be perfectly honest . . . I wish it wasn’t like this
Perhaps it will change when I go away
I look forward to it and at the same time am reluctant to leave my comfort zone
I am incapable of following through with anything
And I seem only to make things more difficult for myself
But I just can’t help it.
Others may understand but I can’t tell them about it
Can’t use the right words
Can’t be sure that they won’t run from me screaming
Can’t can’t can’t.
Nothing will ever be quite the same will it?
Every moment is different from the previous and separate from the next
I am unable to remain content for more that two consecutive moments.
Is it me or is it the world?
I will never know.
heart ninja heart
 Kiri-No-Miko · Mon Aug 18, 2008 @ 10:23pm · 0 Comments |
