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Recently I kinda figured out the words to explain how much I love Alicia...

There were only 2 people in my life that I ever felt like this for. Alicia and noelle.

Except it's so strong now it's like almost unbearable, >_<


It's like a Pain in my chest an ache for Alicia, it kinda hurts but it doesn't it's just there, ever second of every day. Sometimes people distract me from it and I thank them so much for doing that cause I think I'd go mad if I had to deal with it 24/7.


It's like a Lust for her, I'd do anything to be with her. It's like love but it feels like love doesn't even describe the feeling at all... It feels like its more then love. I say lust because I do lust for her in a sexual way (Yes I do Alicia since your reading this XD).

But I lust for a chance to smell her hair or her skin or embrace her, kiss her lips.
tell her I love her in person. It's so hard and the list would be so long what I want to do with her. Hold hands, Hug, kiss, lean on each other and like hundreds of other things.


When I talk to her sometimes after I know shes okay and safe, I feel this huge calm over me and its like I don't have a care in the world. When I see her face and her smile I cant help but smile with her. I could go on and on about staring into her eyes.

Even if it is through a computer I still lust for her. when I talk to her it feels as if shes across the street and If I tried hard enough I could get past all the cars and feel her embrace.


Anyway I look forward to talking to her. and I'm a little worried... no a little is a understatement its more like I'm hugely or no vastly worried about her. because she changed her Name to: I know it's hurting you, But it's killing me.... and I just look forward to hear her words again. Even if it is me saying them. Just to know that shes at least okay.