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Awful Day
I am having one of the worst days in my entire life. This morning at school, I waited outside for Joe. He was going to try to come early, but he couldn't. Then, when he eventually got there, He didn't even talk o me. He did say he would be right back but five minutes passed and i didn't even get a hello. I was already on the verge of tears. Anyways, I mentioned this to my friend and she told Joe to come over and talk to me. He came. But continued talking to everyone but me. I walked off. He followed me. We stood there for a few minutes. it started to rain so I got my umbrella and walked off. He didn't come. He just said meanly 'Bye.' I was crushed. I always walk off, but I intend for him to follow me. It is my way of getting us some alone time. I eventually went inside. He was talking to his friends... AGAIN. I walked over to him and pulled his sleeve. He looked at me ans said hi. Then I walked off once again. I sat on the stairs. He walked over and kneeled down beside me. He asked if I wanted to talk. I said for him to go talk to his friends because I don't care. He walked off. I started crying. He didn't notice. When the three minute bell rang, he walked off without even hugging me and telling me goodbye. I was so hurt. I wanted to die. I still do. I love him so much. However, I don't know how he feels about me anymore. I pray to God that he still loves me. I can't bear to live without him. I cried during first block. No one noticed. I'm glad they didn't. After second block I got to see Joe again. But his friend Josh came so I couldn't talk to Joe about it. I went home before third block. I was so upset that I was about to throw up. I can't text him, so I have been emailing his phone all day. He has replied twice. I was going to ask my mom if I could go to church with Joe tonight, but Joe is going to Church with Josh. Now I'm crying again. Great. I wish he would pay attention to me. When mom took my phone away, she ruined my life. Me and Joe are so distant now. I just want him to hug me and tell me that he loves me. Maybe an occasional call. I don't think that that is too much to ask for. I am so very upset. I almost had a panic attack earlier because I was so depressed. Now I'm ranting... Bye for now...
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