Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

stupid customers, you just make it worse for yourself! and me- but i know you only think of yourself...


customer: i want to buy a fish!

me: ok... which one?

customer: this one! *points to a tank with multiple species*

me: which? *points to tags clearly displaying the name and picture of fish*

customer: the red one!

me: which red one?

customer: the red one

me: the red wag or the red guppy?

customer: yes

me: *points to fish* this one or this one?

customer: *finally points to the fish*

me: ok... so how big is your tank?

customer: *opens arms* this big

me: how many gallons?

customer: um... i don't know?

me: *points to some tanks* bigger or smaller than this?

customer: bigger?

me: is it bigger than this one?

customer: no... i don't know... I BOUGHT IT HERE *stupid smile*

me: well, we sell a lot of tanks... it's really important to know your tank size. do you have any other fish in your tank?

customer: yeah

me: do you know which and how many? *sense of dread tingling*

customer: uhhhhh well i have some that look like this and this and this and this and this *pointing at a whole lot of fish with uncertainty*

me: ok... so you THINK you have a 5 gallon tank and you THINK you have a bunch of fish in there already. your tank sounds incredibly over loaded. the rule of thumb is one inch of fish per gallon of water, this is why it's so important to know your gallonage.

customer: well all my fish are doing FINE

me: fish may not be what many consider smart but they do know the concept of personal space and the difference between good and bad water. if your tank is too crowded even the most docile species can lash out. you couldn't live the rest of your life in a closet with your best friend could you? and having too many fish makes the water get bad very fast. you have to consider that they are BREATHING in their own TOILET and you can't see what's wrong with the water with your naked eye.

customer: but they're FIIIIIIIIIIINE *whine*

me: the water gets progressively bad, your fish have gotten used to it. it will be a shock to new fish. if you insist on buying more we can't honor our return policy.

END SCENE

and now to the point... some tips for buying stuff, not just fish based on the above dialog...
1. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
2. COMMUNICATE LIKE A GROWN UP
3. BE FAMILIAR WITH THE ASSOCIATED PRODUCTS YOU ALREADY OWN
4. RESEARCH PRODUCT


the conversation should go as follows if you have done those 4 things:

customer: hi, i'd like to buy a fish

me: sure, which one

customer: i'd like to buy a tiger barb but i hear they are schooling fish, is that true?

me: yes, we recommend buying 5 or more, but at the very least 3

customer: ok then, i'll get 3 for now and more later if they seem to do ok
me: ok, how big is your tank?

customer: 29 gallons

me: great, how many other fish do you have in there- are they all semi aggressives?

customer: ummmm... let's see, i have 2 golden wonder killies, a pair of gold and blue gouramis and a rainbow shark

me: ok, they should all be compatible but you should definitely still observe for any signs of aggression.

customer: ok, sounds great

see how much faster things progress when you're not being an idiot?