i hit a split road before and took a path and kept walking. then god damn someone stopped me. i thought for split second. made a mistake. so i called the god damned person today. we hung out for a bit and then i told them that i was pissed. they asked why. i smiled and told them why. they laughed and asked if that was it. told them yes. they hugged me adn i just didn't need or want it so they got a hard punch in the gut.
do i feel bad that i did it? hell no. do i feel bad for the one it costs their happiness for my mistake?? god you have know idea how sorry i am. i'm over it but i made yet another mistake today. my sister now knows and she's freaking out so i really would like to smoke again but i made a promise to someone i wouldn't so i won't.
sorry i hurt people on a regular basis but life's running the way it needs to (wants to really) but i can't fight it. i tried that already.
i'm tired. i'm tired of pretending i'm alright when i'm not. i'm tired of fighting with the people who put me down adn try to kill me emotionally. i'm tired of holding on to a dead friend with everythng i have. i'm tired of hurtign him and i'm tired not beign able ot remember how to cry.
 Island Tomboy · Wed Jul 08, 2009 @ 10:18pm · 2 Comments |
