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Wow. I was reading all of my past entries. LOL! I was so dumb! All that crap about me and Joe! ROFL! However, I am kinda sad about the ancient stuff. I miss not having big problems to deal with. I mean, yeah, I thought they were big back then, but now they seem so little in comparison. I've really matured over this past year. It surprises me. I'm not the same little girl I was last year. Gosh, time flies. I never really grasped that until I started writing this. I feel like crying now. Oh well. Time for other news.
Jerami is moving. Away. To another city. I don't really know how I'm going to get through this. I was really looking forward to this new school year, but then I got a text message from Jerami that said 'I'm going to be in Columbus for a while'. I was devastated, but I wanted to be sure of what he meant, so I asked him. Then he told me that he was moving to Columbus. I should have seen it coming. His mother has been very sick lately. However, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I burst into tears. I couldn't even see the keypad on my phone ( I attempted to text anyways) I asked him about school and he told me that he would go to school in Columbus. Seeing Jerami again has been the drive of my enthusiasm for school to start back. Now, I can't see him. It sucks. I was so very upset last night. I texted my friend Natorian and told him. He was happy about Jerami moving, but sad about Jerami's mom. His words were 'Sad about his mom... But I still don't like the jerk.' Then we got on the topic of how I wish I had someone to cuddle with. Then Natorian said that I would find someone soon. I said that I hoped so and that I was tired of being so lonely. Then he said 'Melissa, to be honest, you need to be alone for some more time. I love being alone, I love myself. You have to love yourself before you expect someone else to.' As always, Natorian is right. Common knowledge is that I hate myself. However, I hate myself less and less every day. I'm starting to accept myself. I can actually look in the mirror without thinking I'm ugly now. Actually, I think I'm pretty. Natorian really made me think last night. Thinking is good. I really want this year to be special. I even got a completely new wardrobe. I'm not wearing baggy tees and baggy jeans anymore. I'm wearing tighter fitting tops and pretty jeans. I feel very confident. Wow. Melissa and confident don't belong in the same sentence. At least, they used to not go together. I have high hopes for this year, and I hope it can be wonderful. Maybe Jerami moving was a helping hand from God. Maybe it's to help me branch out and meet new people. I branched out to Natorian and now he's one of my best friends. You know what I just realized? I'm happy about my body. I've only felt that way once before, and that was when I was all bones. Now, I actually like myself. People always tell me that I have a good body. I never really believed it until now. Although, I do kinda wish my boobs were just a tad bit littler. Some of my shirts can barely fit over these... these... THINGS! Lol jkjkjk. But I am not going to be able to dry my shirts this year.
Well, wish me luck this year. It seems like it's going to be an adventure.

'Learn to accept yourself, cuz it's the truth: Can't love nobody else until you love you' - Until U love U by the Pussycat Dolls.