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Heartbroken
Jerami came back to school. I thought I would be happy, but I have been devastated. He is dating some chick named... I will not say her name. She is now dubbed... Thing. Anyways, I still love him. When I saw him, I ran away. I was about to have a panic attack and on the verge of tears. I went to first block and I texted him and said that I was sorry, but that I would probably be better later. Boy was I wrong. I saw him in the hallway on the way to second and I basically tackle hugged him. I think he hugged me back, I can't remember. Then I went to second and third. Then fourth. Fourth was Hell. He and Thing have my lunch. I walked in there and sat down. I saw him and started having a PA again. Lance took me to the library and we had a fun time. When people make me laugh, I forget about it. I forget about how hurt and abused I feel. I forget about how much I want to die. How much I hate her and him. How much I still love him, and how he couldn't care less. Then, me and Lance went back to the lunchroom and I saw them... together... Courtney saw me start crying and she had no idea what was going on. I told her. Then lunch ended. We were on our way back to the trailers and they were right behind me. I grabbed on to Lance and kept on pulling his shirt. When me and Courtney were almost in the classroom, I broke down and cried. I came in the room and told my friend Heather that I was about to have a Panic Attack. I told her the story. She told me not to worry about it. She old me that her boyfriend had dumped her as well this summer. Then my whole class made me feel better. My class is full of idiots. Lol. They are so funny. Stupidly funny. I laughed my big butt off. Then fifth and sixth. They went by pretty uneventful. Then. I went the long way to car riders just so i could see Jerami. They were together. I tried to talk to Lance, but he was busy. Then Jerami and Thing were walking to the bus. I as right behind him, so he saw me... He kept right on walking. Didn't say hi. Didn't wave. Nothing. That hurt more than anything. It felt like a million swords plunged into my heart. I stood there, shocked, for a few seconds and eventually walked off. I'm actually pretty much okay at the moment. I may be over him. I felt like I died inside when he didn't talk to me. So I guess my feelings died too. I'm glad.
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