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18TH july 2009

life is tauting me like a lion at the like poisend food to a starving man... he wants to eat it but he knows it cant, or it'll kill him. I find im starting to lose my mind... i cant concentrate i have no appitite and i seem to not cair when somthing hurts me, almost like pain doesnt affect me any more... im numb, i can hardly tell if i care or if i hate or love, i dont know anymore... i cant seem to do anything, i dont sleep i dont talk, i hardly eat, i dont realy do anything, i just stay in my room till it's time to work and when i come back from work i go to my room... am i just giving up? i cant tell. im blaking out when ever i thing it's like my mind just decides to quite working. and i just cant seem to do anything.... at all i dont know why i still write in this journal thing on this dumb internet on this site i hardly do anthing on at all.