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I have to volunteer at the theatre today. It just won't be the same without Mark. I'm almost reluctant to go. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to talk to him just yet, but I kind of do feel we need to discuss a few things. The hard thing is is that I don't know if I want him back...Happily Ever After does not have to come right now, and that's why I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll never be able to look for another guy again. It's selfish of me, I know, but I can't get over it.

I did cry for half an hour and fifteen minutes more last night. emo But...I was trying to refrain from this sort of thing...talking about relationships. I got lousy sleep last night...geez, I just can't wait till that class starts! Maybe I should move to Arizona...that would be kind of cool. I just don't want to blow off yet another opportunity. They're right- trying to be a singer is a hard thing- but if anyone can do it, it's me. I was born to be a messanger, a storyteller, and song is the best expression of that. I will not give up.

Oh, and if you're wondering why singing has to do with moving, it's because if I stay here I'll be able to get a spine onstage and know how to entertain the audience- from the class I'll be taking soon. Stage Presence is important if you want to be a singer. As far as I'm concerned, the only Happily Ever After I want is the one with my singing career- right now, anyway.