Well, today was Christmas...the day I got to see Christina again...-sigh- if only we had more time...if only she could come home again...if only.....
I got to see her...but only that short time that felt like it went by so quickly....but for three hours...Three glorious hours...I was in heaven,..I was in paradise with her...and it felt so wonderful....but why..? Why didn't she react the way I always imagined..? She didn't cry...She didn't grab me first, she didn't lean herself against me...not a single tear shed for me, and not even a single sign of real happiness...it was as if it was just another day with me to her...but why..? Why wasn't this as important to her as it was to me..? Why did she seem so different..?
Why...
Why....
Why.....
Why......
If only time could have stopped there with her in my arms....just so I could be with her forever.....In my wonderland with her...just like I had always dreamed of....
But unfortunately this is reality....As much as I wanted to deny it, it had to end....Why..? Why did it have to end...? Why couldn't I have just stayed there with her, forever..? It just isn't fair....
It was so hard to let go of her...Even now I'm tearing up just writing this entry...It hurts so much to be without her....
It felt so much like a dream...I wish it was...At least in my dreams I'm happy and with her....I wish they were real...I really do....
I wish I could just go to sleep and sleep until she comes home...I don't wanna wake up to a world without her...it hurts...so so much....It's more than I can bear...
Please God...Please bring her home...Please...I'm begging You...I need her...I can't stand life without her...please..
please....
please.....
please......
I didn't even sit down for dinner with my family tonight...I don't know why...Why didn't I want to eat..? Why wouldn't I sit with my family..? I guess I'm just too depressed....I'm a mess without her....
I'm sorry I sound so pathetic right now...I know I'm supposed to be strong, but it hurts..it hurts too much...make it stop...make it all go away....please.....
I love you Christina....Forever and ever....
Please come home soon.....
 II Xero II · Sat Dec 26, 2009 @ 01:40am · 0 Comments |
