Told from Topaz's perspective.
“Here, give her to me,” Lye says, taking the squirming infant from my hands. She holds Chloe in her arms and jiggles her up and down while doing lunges. I can’t help but laugh.
“Lye, I don’t think that’s going to do anyth…” I begin but after only a minute the baby calms down and closes her eyes. Lye finishes the lunge she was on and brings Chloe to her chest where she snuggles her face against Lye’s breasts and falls asleep.
“What were you going to say, Toe?” She asks me, smiling.
“How did you do that? I was trying to get her to be quiet all day!” I exclaim. She just shrugs and sits down in the rocking chair. There’s something so right about the way she’s holding Chloe in her arms. I can’t help but imagine a baby with my eyes and her smile snuggling up to her breasts and falling sound asleep, and then, instead of imagining a baby, I imagine myself falling sound asleep with my head resting where Chloe’s is now, and Lye’s hand on my head.
“What are you thinking?” Lye asks, smiling up at me.
“Nothing,” I reply, quickly.
“Liar! You’re staring at Chloe and smiling, so you must be thinking something,” she explains. Actually, I wasn’t staring at Chloe. I was studying the way her stomach moved just slightly when she inhaled and exhaled, and the way her collarbones stick farther out than most. I was looking at the flawless tan skin on her arms, and I was wishing that her hands, though much smaller than my own, would fit in mine like the last piece of a puzzle.
“Where’s my baby?” A large colored lady demands, breaking my eyes away from Lye. Hearing her mother’s voice must have triggered something in her brain because all of a sudden Chloe was having another screaming fit. Walking over to her crib, I pick her up and hand her to her mom.
“Hey there, baby, Big Mama’s here. Do these evil witches make you cry?” The lady whispers to her child.
“If we were witches, we would put a spell on her to shut her up,” I murmur under my breath. Lye turns to look at me with a disbelieving look on her face, and then she bursts out laughing. “Big Mama” snickers and marches out the door with her screaming offspring in hand.
“Are you ready to go?” Lye asks, getting up from the chair. I pull my sweatshirt over my head and pick up my bag, slinging it over my shoulder. I also pick up Lye’s bag, and wrap my free fingers around Lye’s offered hand.
About half a mile into our walk home, she turns her head and looks at me. “Toe, do you ever think about what would happen if you stayed with Stacey and I stayed with Lanie?” I drop her hand, and she stops walking.
“What did I do?” She asks.
“Nothing, sorry. I was just zoning and got startled by your voice,” I explain. Okay, that was a stupid lie. We continue walking, this time farther away from each other. After a few more blocks she turns her head towards me again.
“Well, do you?” She asks.
“Yes, I do,” I reply. I think about it all the time because I know she would’ve been completely happy with Lanie. I know she wouldn’t be having a hard time getting to sleep at night because the thought of being all alone scares her more than anything in the whole world. I know she wouldn’t need me anymore if they didn’t break up.
“What do you think life would be like now?” She questions.
“Better,” I reply. Better for her maybe. She would be off with the one she loves: kissing her, touching her, laughing with her, and crying with her. She wouldn’t have time to think about me; she wouldn’t have time to realize I even exist, and even though I would be with Stacey, and I would be happy with Stacey, there’s no way I could ever forget about Lye. She’s my best friend, and I’m hoping she will be my best friend forever. I can’t imagine life without her, but I know I would’ve had to if she and Lanie wouldn’t have broken up.
“Better how?” She asks. I don’t answer her. Instead, I just keep walking, my eyes focused on the back of a lady’s swinging ponytail in front of me.
“Toe?” She says, breaking my concentration of the swishing ponytail.
“Hm?” I ask.
“Will you please answer my question?” she asks. Automatically my mind thinks up a response: No, I don’t want to answer your ******** question! I never want to answer any of your questions! You get too personal, and I don’t feel comfortable answer your damn questions! Stop asking them!
Instead, I reply, “We both would’ve been with our first choices.” I quicken my pace up the driveway and into the house, not giving Lye time to say anything.
“Toe, it’s dinner,” Lye says, tapping lightly on my door. I roll over onto my back and wipe my eyes, hoping she couldn’t hear me crying.
“I’ll be down in a second,” I reply through the closed door. Quickly, I pull my hair back into a ponytail, and when I’m certain she went back downstairs, I go into the bathroom and wash my face, hoping the red puffiness around my eyes will disappear. No such luck. It looks like two tomatoes grew right out of my eye sockets. Oh well, it’s not like I need to be pretty for Lye or anything.
I turn off the bathroom light and head down the stairs, smelling dinner with each step.
“It smells good!” I exclaim, walking into the dining room. “What are we having?”
“French toast,” she explains, carrying in a plate with 6 pieces of French toast on it in one hand and a plate with bacon on it in the other.
“Breakfast food for dinner!” I cry out, “My favorite!” She smiles to herself as if to say yay, I finally did something right. Once she sets the plates down, I rush over to her and give her a big hug.
“I love you, Lye!” I say, enjoying the feeling of her body up against mine. She probably thinks the reason I’m hugging her is because she did actually do something right, and I guess in one way it is, but the truth is, I’m hugging her because today when her hand was in mine, my addiction grew stronger. Her skin is the smoothest, softest skin I have ever touched. From the first moment our arms rubbed up against each other with our first hug back at her dad’s house, I became addicted. All I want to do is run my fingers along her arms, her legs, her back, stomach and thighs.
“I love you too, Toe. Now sit down and eat,” she says, releasing me from our embrace. I do as she says. Across from me, she pulls out a chair and sits down. As she reaches over her plate to pick up her water glass, I have to do everything possible not to reach over mine and grab her hand.
We eat in silence for a few minutes until Lye puts down her fork and folds her hands.
“So, Toe, how did your classes go today?” She asks me in a father-like tone.
“They went splendid!” I exclaim, adding more oomph to the word splendid by making fireworks with my hands. “And what about yours?”
“They were fine…” she says, breaking away from our over-dramatic conversation. I frown.
“Lye, what happened?” I ask her, finishing up the last of the food on my plate.
“Nothing,” she says quickly and continues to eat her French toast.
“Lye,” I say, “what’s wrong?”
“I’m just so scared that you’re going to give me a bad punishment!” She pouts. It takes me a minute or two to realize what she’s talking about, but when I do, I smile.
“Lye, are you really and truly sorry for what you did?” I ask her, putting on my concerned parent look.
“Yes,” she sniffles.
“Then I’ll let you off with a warning this one time, but don’t you be going around, making a shitload of racket and waking up little babies, okay?” Lye giggles.
“Mommy said a bad word!” She says in a cute little voice I’ve never heard her use before, but it makes me want to pull her close to me and kiss the top of her nose. I restrain myself from doing such, however, and, instead, pick up the dishes and walk back into the kitchen, taping the top of her nose on the way.
After the dishes are clean, I go back up into my room and lay on my bed with my laptop to begin tonight’s assignment. That’s the worst thing about college. You have to sit through a three hour class typing notes up onto your MacBook, and then you have to go home to write up a ten-page essay on whatever your teacher decides to make you write that night. Tonight’s homework actually isn’t that bad. I have to choose three people that most influenced my life. The professor made it clear that we had to have actually met these people, so they can’t be past presidents or Gandhi or anyone like that. It doesn’t have to be any longer than one page because it is the first assignment and all.
I begin to type: The acts of loving and hating come naturally to all human beings. Some love ice-cream and others hate frozen desserts, but for some people, loving and hating don’t come hand-in-hand. Some can do one but not the other. While I on the other hand had a hard time doing either.
When I was younger, my mother would tuck me in at night, drunk. She would whisper that she loves me, and I would feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, but when I smelt the booze on her breath, I wanted to pull away from her touch. I wanted to get away from everything evil that would come upon me if I let my alcoholic mother…
“Toe, I’m bored!” Lye interrupts, knocking lightly on my door. I sigh and save the document, closing my laptop.
“Come on in then,” I reply. She walks in wearing a pair of sweats that cut off right below her knee and a white t-shirt that made her skin look tanner. She twirls her way to my bed and plops down on it.
“Whatcha working on?” She asks me.
“My homework. Speaking of homework, don’t you have any?” I question. She puts on her pouty face. I frown.
“Are you trying to get rid of me?” She whimpers. I rest my hand on hers.
“Of course not, my little Lye-in-ator. I love having you keep me company, and I really want to play a game with you and talk to you and all that, but I really have to finish my essay,” I explain, rubbing my finger against the back of her hand.
“Okay,” she says frowning, and then, she gets up to leave the room. No, wait!, I shout in my head, I want you to stay! I imagine grabbing her hand and with my touch, she’ll turn around. I’ll get up onto my knees and remove my hand from hers, instead, using it to push hair out of her eyes. Then, I’ll lean in to kiss her very softly, and when I pull away she’ll smile and put her hand on my cheek and lean in to lock our lips again. I’ll slowly lie on my back as she gets on top of me all while moving her lips on mine, but of course I don’t say anything. I just let her leave.
After she closes my door, I lean back against the headboard and begin typing my essay again. When I get done with explaining the influence my mother had on my life, I begin to type about Stacey. It wasn’t until I met Stacey, the brunette with vampire-like qualities who stole my heart, that I first began to love without hating. I loved everything about her; I loved the way she would giggle when I made her blush and the way she breathed when she fell asleep. I wanted to marry that girl, but then I met Lye, the short dark-haired tan-skinned girl who twisted my heart with her child-like smile. She told me Stace wasn’t good enough, that she was mean-spirited, and being the horrible girlfriend that I was, I believed her. I believed that I deserved, but the truth is, I didn’t. Stacey was the best thing that happened to me, but because I believed Lye’s lies, I didn’t love her anymore. I created this monster in the place for what I used to think of Stacey, and I ended up losing my girlfriend.
After I finish typing that, I read over it and realize this doesn’t exactly explain how both Lye and Stacey influenced my life. Highlighting everything I’ve just written, I go to the delete button before changing my mind and pressing control and x. I paste it onto a new document and save it.
It takes me until midnight to finish typing my essay. In the process of writing, I changed the people for my essay from Mom, Lye, and Stace to Mom, Dad, and Grandma. Their combined influence can’t even compare to what Lye and Stacey have done for me, though.
Yawning, I close my laptop and place it on my bedside table. I strip from my clothes and pull on an oversized t-shirt, then go out into the bathroom to brush my teeth.
“You going to bed?” Lye asks appearing in the doorway. I jump and spit out the toothpaste in my mouth.
“You scared me!” I cry, rinsing off my toothbrush.
“Sorry,” she replies. I turn my head to look at her. She’s in short black shorts with white polka dots and a black camisole.
“It’s okay. Yeah, I’m getting tired,” I answer her.
“Oh, okay. Sweet dreams,” she says and turns around to go back in her room. I hang my washcloth back on the hook after washing my face and I place my toothbrush in its holder.
“Lye, wait,” I say. She turns around looks at me. The expression on her face is one of the saddest I’ve ever seen.
“Do you want to sleep with me again tonight?” I ask her. She smiles and runs towards me throwing her arms wide open. She hits me with all her weight, and as she’s wrapping her arms around me, I lose my balance and we both collapse onto the bathroom floor, her on top of me. Her face is so close to mine, I could reach her lips with my own if I were to lift my head up an inch. She stares into my eyes as if she doesn’t know how she just ended up on top of me, and the answer is hidden deep within my pupils. I begin to move my lips closer to hers just as she bursts out laughing and rolls off of me.
“God, Toe, you are such a clutz sometimes!” She giggles.
“I only fell because you threw your entire body weight at me!” I reply, trying hard not to show how disappointed I am that I didn’t get to kiss her. I stand up and offer my hand to Lye, which she takes.
“You’re right, Toe. I’m sorry I ever tried hugging you,” she apologizes.
Frowning I reply, “Don’t be sorry about that!” I must’ve said it too fast and urgent because Lye holds up her hands.
“Whoa, whoa, I was just kidding. I’m never sorry for anything I do,” she jokes.
“Race you to bed,” I scream, running down the hallway.
“Toe!” She yells after me, but I can hear her feet on the floor, and I know she’s following. I jump onto my bed a few seconds before Lye does, and we lay there laughing in the dark.
“Goodnight, Lye,” I say when we both calm down.
“Nighty night,” she replies, pulling the covers up to her chin.
“Sleep well.”
“You too.”
I don’t know how long I was asleep before I was awoken by a loud gasp from Lye, followed by huge sobs.
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