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Don't you hate it when people keep changing their plans? |
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I do. -__-;;
Dad and Heather were staying in Tennessee with my grandparents, because my dad wanted to see his parents and stuff, to visit for a while. Well, eventually, my dad wanted to come home enough and Heather got sassy enough[she walks all over my Nana] that they finally decided to come home, and they were going to fly black here today. But, apparently, that isn't going to happen. My Nana got sick, and I think they had to take her to the hospital, so my dad and Heather are staying there a few more days until Nana gets better, to make sure she's alright and stuff.
I'm not angry at her or anything, that might be what it sounds like, but that's not it. I'm just tired of, "Your father can't come home because of this" and "Your father can't come home because of that". And you know what the main "this" and the main "that" are? HEATHER and SICKNESS. Not just sickness of my Nana, but sickness of my dad himself. Some of you know that he's been sick for years with something that no one even knows what is. He's been home for weeks now, that's the only reason he was able to go on this trip so suddenly, because he's had weeks off now; his work granted it to him because he was missing tons of work anyway. And /that's/ why we're getting out of the military[booted for "medical discharge"], because my dad's so sick and in so much pain that he can hardly work anymore.
My dad, he's so young, and so great... Nobody reading this entry could ever understand how much I love and look up to my dad. In my eyes, he very well could be the greatest person who ever lived, save Jesus himself. But he's so sickly now... He used to be so active, so into his family and into making them smile. He still /is/, save the active part. He's been getting better with taking us places lately, but sometimes we have to take /him/ places, places I really don't want to be in... Like the hospital.
My whole family is sick. My Nana[dad's mum] has MRSA(but it's dormant now, and she's getting her job back as a nurse! = D she already went to college for it recently), my Papa[mum's dad] has arthritis and depression, my dad has too many pains to list and is depressed[but totally doesn't seem like it. you wouldn't believe how many people at my school say they love my dad, and comment on how cool he is], my mom has problems that I don't want to talk about[and is depressed as well(isn't everyone?)], Heather has back problems and mental problems. And just so I don't miss the bus, I'll only list one more.
/I/ have problems. I have problems trusting people, and not trusting people. I have problems telling people how I feel. I laugh when people pity me; it's strange, I don't even know why. And I do have mental problems, even if my parents refuse to believe it. We've consulted with my doctor, and he says I may have it, but I know I do; I have ADD. The symptoms are getting... well, more frequent. Just weird, little things that bug me to death, and make me feel like I'm floating on another planet with no oxygen or gravity. I'm constantly getting deja vu, much more than I used to, and I'm feeling light-headed a /lot/. I've been forgetting things a lot more, and just so many things that I don't want to mention because I'm about to miss my bus and I have to go.
But worst of all: I'm depressed, and I can't get over it. I think my life is a living hell, when it's really so much better than everyone else's it's crazy. I have so many oppurtunities, but I just dit here and dawdle and whine. I want to lift myself up and be a better person. And I mean soon.
So.... Yeah. I have ranted in a while, so I just got a little out, and, uhm, if I miss the bus, it's all y'all's faults. ><
 [.Rikocette.Echoes.] · Tue Mar 21, 2006 @ 12:24pm · 15 Comments |
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![[.Rikocette.Echoes.]](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/80/bf/13ab4e712bf80.png?t=1234586521_6.00_11 "[.Rikocette.Echoes.]")