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I woke up early again..And this pain shot up the side of my stomach. It was horrible. I was thinking a bit..Then I realized that it was hunger. Too bad for my stomach. Hahaaaaaa..............It's 4 in the morning right now and I felt like waking up to type this (I work at 8 am). Best to type it off when it's fresh, right? Oh shizz...You ever felt like hungry-ish? The type of hunger you feel, that feels like your going to throw up and eating some food will help you feel a bit better? Or you know you feel like throwing up because your hungry? I know, sounds weird and I didn't word it correctly, but hey! Cut me some slack, it's 4 in the morning and I'm not all the way here yet. neutral ...But I'm feeling a bit like that right now..



Come on Za! You can last more than 3 days without eating food! You can handle more pain than this. This pain ain't nothing compared to the other one...I seriously need a punching bag. I feel like tearing my hands up on that thing. I think it'll just make my hands sore but I still want to see the pain it can give me. WTF Za? Your sounding emo as s**t. LOL. But I really do want a punching bag and I really do want to see how it feels like..Are my hands going to feel like crap after punching it repeatedly for a long time? I don't know..I'll have to go buy one.



Nothing but water, nothing but water. Let's see how much your body can take? ;D Since you were being a jerk. Let's hope I got enough energy to work today without showing it. neutral Question though, how do I know I pushed myself to the limit? When I pass out from fasting? When I get sent to the hospital for not eating? Where does the line get drawn? Oh well..You'll figure it out along the way...Hopefully.. I hope my family doesn't realize that I'm not eating at all. Or they'll force me to eat DD: But even if they do, I won't eat..This type of stress is nothing..



So, I'm feeling a bit sore, feeling a bit hungry, and feeling extremely thirsty...Ever since I stopped eating I've been feeling thirstier than usual. Is that normal? I'm just kind of afraid that, if I drink too much water, I'll start to feel super hungry...Because sometimes when you have nothing in your stomach, and you drink a lot of water, you begin to really feel how hungry you are, which is not good. I don't want to feel hungry enough to the point where I actually want to eat..It's not enough punishment.



I'm feeling a bit light-headed as well. Oh s**t, I don't think that's good. O.O Hope I don't pass out...lol.......................


I just used like 30 mins to read up on what happens when you don't eat....Not good..Not good at all. Oh well, ******** it, right? Your punishing your body. ;D
I really should go take my morning jog but light isn't out yet. I want to get my haircut on Thursday...



I'm such an idiot....Lol...Your never supposed to let someone get that close to you. Your not supposed to get THIS emotionally attached to someone. You were never supposed to talk to them over the phone. You were never supposed to make those stupid choices. You shouldn't talk to her again. You shouldn't miss her like this. Hell, you shouldn't even be thinking about her right now. But your such a idiot Za, wtf. Why can't I feel like how I was feeling yesterday? Today sucked a bit more...Er..This morning-ish is feeling a bit sucky. From now on, don't let her call you... -__________-

Move on you butthurt idiot. -_________-

Don't think about her. -____________-

She's not worth it............Is she..?
She made her choice, and she's sticking with it.
Your not going to change anything, and, she's happier with him anyways you fool.
But why the hell does it hurt this much to try and move on?


Look you idiot, your thinking about her again. LOL. I swear, she got me sprunged. I don't know, I don't know anymore. I don't know what to think, what to do. I guess I'm not thinking straight since it's early in the morning. I really need to feel like how I did yesterday, I need to just feel like not caring at all. Nothing should matter anymore. What can I do to feel like that again? I don't want to care anymore. But I can't help it. I swear, I need to set barrier's up...So I won't ever feel like this again. -_______-
Set the walls up and don't get attached? ;D
Sounds stupid but seems easy... neutral



I'm so weird..It's not even the end of the day and I'm typing this out already....Gosh, your so lame Za. Okai okai, come to the conclusion. She don't care about you anymore, alright? Whatever feeling's she had, is long gone. And believe that it's long gone. She won't ever feel that way again because of what you did. Your just dreaming if you think she still loves you...? Sometimes it's better to just dream...?


I might come back and edit this journal after the day is over with...I need to stop thinking so damn much, it's not good for me. Expect me to change this around 8-9 pm-ish? ;D Good thing, I don't have work tomorrow..And I get paid. w00t!


If you feel like coming back around 8-9ish when it's dark..I might add in more shtuff..Unless I feel like I already typed in everything that I'm feeling..Srry if I do. ^^
I totally need to move on... -_______________-


Oh shizz, I just remembered. I wanna make her a sign. ;D I think I told her I was going to make her one as well? ;o
We'll see...I'll probably get it all done this weekend. ^^


Ugh..Bella. We shoulda never went out. Not to try and sound all bogus and stuff, I liked our relationship, but if I can go back, I would've chosed something different. neutral




Crap, it's 6 am and I can't run this morning since it's raining..Gonna have to double up when I get home from work. neutral
I'm gonna kill my legs...



Looks like I'm not going to be able to run at all today...Heavy rain. I'll just have to lift weights until I can't feel my arms no more...I just took a hot shower..Everytime I take a shower, at the last minutes, I always shower my hair with super cold water..I don't know why. I think it makes it look better and it feels better when I put my hand through it...Some weird ritual that I do. I brush my teeth in the shower as well...Lol...



I'm already adding stuff in here. Let's see what else comes up today...



I don't look like it...But I'm falling to pieces. She's moved on while I'm still grieving, damn, I'm all choked up but she's okay.







Ahhhhhh...Got back from work. Feeling good. Got an extra hour in. ;D

I'm so embarrassed that I wrote all of that shtuff. I need to leave the situation alone. iight Za?! ;D

Stop being so emo-ish and corny. ^^

Great day..Or maybe I'm just feeling a bit too good. x]