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Ugh....I don't know what to think. So many things are happening at the same time. It's all getting to me..I've been thinking a lot. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in a situation that feels uncomfortable to me.


Literally, every minute of every day, I think about her. I even had some weird dream of her but I don't remember. It's making me insane. She's online, but she's not on Meebo..I don't know how to reach out to her. I can't call her. She told me something that was hidden deep down inside of her...Something that would've been hidden away for a long time but I kept asking questions...Do I know how to save a life?


I don't know if her Meebo isn't working because I don't see her and she said she can't see me..? Or if she just doesn't want to talk to me..Maybe it's not her that's online, but somebody else? It can also be that she just don't feel like talking to me...Is she trying to push me away? Or maybe I'm just thinking too much.


I rlly want to talk to her..No, I'm not going to tell you what she told me...It's something really personal and I'm not going to disrespect her like that. I told her that no matter what, I'm never going to judge her. I hope that she isn't afraid to talk to me. Nothing is going to change between us..Don't be scared Mai..Don't push me away. ><


Man, it's making me all depressed...I just, want to give her a hug. A longggggggggg hug. One of those hugs that feel like your never going to let them go. I want to wrap my arms around her forever. Not trying to sound creepy or anything...But I'm so sad for her..She's so innocent, that THAT should've never happened to her. ******** Za, don't start tearing up like a girl now.


I want her to feel...That she's not alone. She's not alone in this world. That I care about her. I care for her. I feel like..She's in a world of darkness..I want to be her light. I need to talk to her. I want to speak with her on the phone.


I swear, we need, to talk to on the phone for an hour when she calls me..I want to know her on a deeper level and vice versa. I'm missing her so badly right now. I've seen her online, but I can't talk to her..It's driving me nuts. ><


I feel like...She's the only one pulling the moves. I want to pull the moves once in awhile. But I understand why I can't....I want her to not be scared to tell me anything..She can tell me anything..And I can tell her anything.


Man, I got work tomorrow..But I'm staying up..Just so I can see her..Hopefully..I don't care. I only care about her. Mai, you don't have to cross that line by yourself...I'll cross it with you..Hand by hand. I know your heart's been shattered to pieces like broken glass...That's okay, I'll use my bare hands and glue it all together..Even if that means getting a million cuts on my fingers and hands..I'll go through whatever pain for you.


I hope you read this..You know how I feel. Talk to me babe, kuv nco koj ib leeg xwb....Thiab koj yog tus kuv xav tau.


We can only move forward right? I'll move forward with you...We'll march together until the end of time..I'm missing you like crazy, and I AT LEAST think about you every 30 seconds. It's ridiculous how many times your always in my mind. It's come to the point that I can't even count it..


You already know that Kub Hlub Koj.




Thanks for reading..I didn't hold back..So I'm sorry for doing that. Just tell me how you feel..