Listening to Gates Of Ishtar now to make myself feel better, which ironically they are, melodic death metal always does....It empowers me, I miss Micky so much it's been exactly a year since he killed himself, which may explain why I couldn't wake up and why I woke up like I was in a shock.... Everything felt all blury and I felt dizzy then all of a sudden I saw the date and his memory and I broke completely. I thought of Shayla too... It's ironic how I follow death, and worship death, how much I cannot cope with the death of my loved ones, but comfort those who suffer from losses of those who they loved. It was 2 months before this a year ago a close friend of mine named Kim Hill apparently killed herself too, I thought it was a health problem when she apparently pulled her own oxygen plug herself........... THE MORE KNOWLEDGE I SEEM TO KNOW THE MORE GRIM! Gah....... Well on an up note I suppose my money should be here at any moment this week, my tuition has been paid for, and I should be receiving it soon... I have to go to a stupid academic intervention because I've been sick on and off and haven't been attending school as often..Listening to old callings of Ishtar now, gonna search for callings of Ereshkigal next to see if they sound as pleasent....Today is a personal mourning day I'm not meditating to do a ritual tonight to bring Marduk back into me, for my strength is weakening.
KAKAMMU SELAH!
Grendle
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