Lying next to him
Lying wide awake
Trying to fall asleep
Trying to quiet my mind
Blinded emotions swirling around
Blinded by the walls I built
Closed off in the deepest part of my mind
Closed off securely inside them
Lying there confused
Lying there in pain
Eyes wide open
Eyes staring up
My body fully exposed
My body wrapped in his arms
His hold is comforting
His hold is confining
I've blinded myself
I've stifled myself
Filling my mind with him
Filling my mind with lies
I love him, indeed
I love him dearly
Yet I lie awake
Yet I lie empty
He stirs, turning to me
He kisses me, smiling
I smile as his arms tighten
I feel comfort in his arms
Again, I lie awake
Again, I lie in pain
Only now does it make sense
Only now do I know why
In the back of my mind is you
In the black of my heart is you
Put there by my ingorance
Pushed there by my cowardice
I lie awake because it's you
I lie awake because it's him
Only now do I see he is wrong
Only now can I see my real love
Forgive me, my love
Forgive me, darling
I blinded myself from you
I blinded myself with pain
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The Mind
Mainly a record of my more interesting dreams that I was able to remember after waking up. (Apparently my uncontrollable confessions, as well. In the form of poetry. All to the same man.)
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